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Original poster

Anyone else dislike Christmas virtue signaling?

257 replies

Twigaletta · 09/12/2020 18:00

It reminds me of that Fast Show sketch, 'I don't like to talk about my charity work' etc. And then proceed to boast about their efforts.

Examples I've seen this week include staged photos of charity shoe boxes, pleas for funds to 'top up' (and in reality actually fund) some boxes for animals and someone saying they wanted to do something but just needing x, y and z, which in effect meant they supplied the empty box and the wrapping paper with everyone else supplying the contents. Lots of people have 'fallen' for these pleas.

I'm not going to rattle off everything I've done for charity this year because that would be hugely hypocritical. I just get an urgh feeling when I see the virtue signaling on social media.

OP posts:
MorganKitten · 09/12/2020 20:54

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I cant stand people who announce on social media "We have decided not to do cards this Christmas, but have donated a sum to [insert charity] instead"

Ahhhh here we go again.

Every fucking year I get moaned at for not sending cards, in fact quite a few people I know do.

We don't send cards out because, as bereaved parents, we don't wish to write cards out for Christmas and miss our kids names off them. It feels awful. We can't include our kids names for obvious reasons.

Some people choose to announce it on their social media to save getting moaned at and make a donation to charity, some don't donate and some just take getting digs aimed at them and quietly make a donation.

The insistence every fucking year that it is down to laziness is, quite frankly, insulting, and small minded.

People quite often have valid reasons that you aren't privvy to, and if they chose to donate and tell people there are often reasons for that too.

I agree, I used to do the cards with my mum but after the last three years of hospitals after her accident I don’t write them because most of the time I don’t get time to and I don’t feel right signing them for her when she’s lost the ability to write. I was told by family and friends I was lazy but when you spend time at work followed by helping with her rehab you really don’t want to sit and write cards, especially as people expect an update... year two.. no longer I ICU doesn’t sound jolly. At all. So I do donate to her fave charities.
Woahisme · 09/12/2020 20:54

Ugh! That phrase again. "Virtual signalling". Honestly, it just needs to eff off and die and take "Karen" with it.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 09/12/2020 20:57

Sometimes it's good and it is to spread awareness and get people join in.
Sometimes it's to make yourself good.
Only person knowing the person well can say which one of these it is.
And I mean well including whether they usually do any charity (because good friend will know).

OhCaptain · 09/12/2020 21:00

@Chamonixshoopshoop

I have found my people! The 'I'm so selfless donating to a charity, I'm not going to send cards like you uncaring morons'...

They are too lazy and it's one of the main ways to show you care this year! I haven't seen loads of my friends in the shit show that is 2020, so a nice Xmas card will be one of the ways of showing I care.

Almost as bad as being too lazy to read the replies on a thread, huh?

Or do you just not give a shit that a bereaved poster has said they despise being called lazy for not sending them? How very uncharitable of you...

And like I said, relying on a shit piece of cardboard to "show you care" doesn't qualify you for friend/relation of the year.

Leannethom85 · 09/12/2020 21:01

My charity is if someone sends me a Xmas card, I cross their name out and put mine on it instead and give it back to them.. My bit for charity, saving the trees!

willstarttomorrow · 09/12/2020 21:01

Sorry, I do not mean to take away the enormity of childhood cancer or how crap it is for families. I was just trying to put into context how 'less deserving' other causes are perceived whilst just as devastating.

FuzzyPuffling · 09/12/2020 21:03

My charity is if someone sends me a Xmas card, I cross their name out and put mine on it instead and give it back to them.. My bit for charity, saving the trees!

Stunningly rude.

Pugdogmom · 09/12/2020 21:04

Local charity near me asked for assistance. Because of the times they opened, I offered to collect people's donations and take it to them, because I had the time. Ended up all over the local paper and SM but it wasn't for " virtue signalling ", it was to promote the charity.

Thatwentbadly · 09/12/2020 21:05

I only send 4 Christmas cards (to oldies and 1 friend who really likes them) because I’m in at least weekly contact, at the moment daily contact with those people who are important to me so I don’t need to send them a card to say I care. As a general rule I don’t like receiving Christmas cards. I’m so glad the parents have decided not to get our reception aged children to send cards. The teachers have enough to do without sorting out post. And it would equal over 800 cards.

I often buy my husband Christmas dinner for homeless people to put in his Christmas stocking because he really appreciates it.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 09/12/2020 21:06

@Leannethom85

My charity is if someone sends me a Xmas card, I cross their name out and put mine on it instead and give it back to them.. My bit for charity, saving the trees!
That would be last contact I would have with a person who would do that. It honestly looks like "go fuck yourself" move
OhCaptain · 09/12/2020 21:08

@Leannethom85

My charity is if someone sends me a Xmas card, I cross their name out and put mine on it instead and give it back to them.. My bit for charity, saving the trees!
Grin
windturbines · 09/12/2020 21:10

YANBU. In my experience, most workplaces have charity schemes where a donation is taken off your wage every month automatically and with some, it is matched by the company and then donated to the charity.

It's a very small minority of people who don't donate to any charities and therefore makes bragging about it a bit redundant.

windturbines · 09/12/2020 21:13

@Leannethom85

Or, you could kindly message them in November and say that you're not doing Xmas cards this year and you wouldn't want them to waste money and time on sending you one. Thus, saving 'trees', time and money as well as not coming across as a rude arsehole.

I really hope your comment is a joke, though. I know there's a lot of bratty people about, but I struggle to believe anyone could be this much of a twat!

RosesforMama · 09/12/2020 21:14

I volunteer for a tiny charity. Despite being the national charity for this condition we get less than 10k a year. We used to raise quite a bit of money (for us) from selling Christmas cards. This year we haven't even had any made up as they just don't sell any more. No one donates to our charity in lieu of sending cards. So maybe that's partly why I find it a bit irritating.

HMSBeagle · 09/12/2020 21:14

It's just FB. If I only knew some of my family via FB I would think they was vacuous narcissists, but in RL they are nice people. However on FB they are rude, insulting, prancing about semi clothed and totally in love with themselves.

When it gets too much, just turn it off
FB should come with a MH disclaimer.

badg3r · 09/12/2020 21:22

I like receiving a couple of cards but agree it's probably a generational thing... I would rather someone keeps up more regularly throughout the year on SM than spend two minutes writing a card I don't respond to 😬 and it's a waste of paper (and carbon emissions for postage).

I find posts about donating quite cringeworthy but secretly enjoy them because a) I would rather the message plus donation and b) I secretly feel smug when I donate and don't tell anyone 😜

GCAcademic · 09/12/2020 21:23

@user1487194234

I cant stand people who announce on social media "We have decided not to do cards this Christmas, but have donated a sum to [insert charity] instead This annoys me too
To be honest, I wish certain people we know would do that and cease with the insufferably smug round robins they insist on sending us. Thank COVID we are at least spared their accounts of trips to Glyndebourne, Henley and Wimbledon this year.
Leannethom85 · 09/12/2020 21:23

[quote windturbines]@Leannethom85

Or, you could kindly message them in November and say that you're not doing Xmas cards this year and you wouldn't want them to waste money and time on sending you one. Thus, saving 'trees', time and money as well as not coming across as a rude arsehole.

I really hope your comment is a joke, though. I know there's a lot of bratty people about, but I struggle to believe anyone could be this much of a twat![/quote]
Well seeing as you are calling me names and had absolute no reason what's so ever to call me out and certainly not to call me names, maybe its you that's the 'twat' dear!

badg3r · 09/12/2020 21:24

@RosesforMama what is the charity if you don't mind me asking? That's sad that the decline in card sales has impacted donations so much.

trixiebelden77 · 09/12/2020 21:27

Why are people friends with people they genuinely believe are such knobs, and for whose motives they have such contempt? It’s so odd.

You’ll find if you’re only friends with people you like and respect, you have no need to froth at the mouth because someone sent a charity a donation or asked where was a good spot to donate toys.

Frannibananni · 09/12/2020 21:28

I actually wonder if people announce all their charity giving efforts because charities often use guilt to get people to donate.

OhCaptain · 09/12/2020 21:29

@RosesforMama

I volunteer for a tiny charity. Despite being the national charity for this condition we get less than 10k a year. We used to raise quite a bit of money (for us) from selling Christmas cards. This year we haven't even had any made up as they just don't sell any more. No one donates to our charity in lieu of sending cards. So maybe that's partly why I find it a bit irritating.
Sounds like your charity could benefit from some social media 'virtue signaling'. Shame you're so against it...
Simplyunacceptable · 09/12/2020 21:31

I’ve always hated this. The videos of people giving a homeless person a meal or whatever, they make me feel a bit ill. We’re living in a world where people can’t just be kind for the sake of it, they’ll only do it if it’s on Facebook.

ReluctantEarlyRiser · 09/12/2020 21:32

I think the Christmas card thing is harsh. I would rather someone donate to charity than send me a card. I can easily keep in touch with people via social media so I feel cards are fairly redundant. People do the SM announcement so that others know not to expect a card?

I also think the Facebook charity birthday thing is a good idea. I've given to people's fundraisers who I wouldn't have bought a present for usually and to charities I wouldn't have thought to donate to.

I also think a charity gift e.g. buy a family a goat, is better than receiving stuff you don't need. I know some people may really appreciate a gift at Christmas if they're not able to buy 'luxury' items themselves though.

Some people might be a bit more showy about their charitable work but at the end of the day, they're still doing good. Just mute them on SM.

RosesforMama · 09/12/2020 21:34

@badg3r
Sorry, it would be completely outing to say :)