Anyone else dislike Christmas virtue signaling?

[Twigaletta]

It reminds me of that Fast Show sketch, 'I don't like to talk about my charity work' etc. And then proceed to boast about their efforts.

Examples I've seen this week include staged photos of charity shoe boxes, pleas for funds to 'top up' (and in reality actually fund) some boxes for animals and someone saying they wanted to do something but just needing x, y and z, which in effect meant they supplied the empty box and the wrapping paper with everyone else supplying the contents. Lots of people have 'fallen' for these pleas.

I'm not going to rattle off everything I've done for charity this year because that would be hugely hypocritical. I just get an urgh feeling when I see the virtue signaling on social media.

We had all paid a deposit £15 for a Christmas party as part of a group I belong to.

The party was cancelled, and the organiser posted on Facebook that she has the deposits to return.

She then out underneath, “wouldn’t it be a good idea if we donated them to charity instead, who’s in? (No pressure of course)” ! Well who’s going to say no on Facebook, but obviously I bet a lot couldn’t afford that at this time of year.

So she gets to donate the deposit instead!

Must be a generational thing. I hugely value a card that someone has taken the time to write a short greeting and personal message in. (Not so fussed about the ones that literally say "John and Sally" in) I recognise that it has taken time and effort on someone else's behalf to send me good wishes. To me it's all about someone having made a small effort to send good wishes. It never occurred to me that some people literally chuck someone else's time and thoughts in the bin!

On the other hand I recognise that some people can't be bothered, don't see the point etc and that doesn't bother me. It's turning it into a virtue that I find a bit irritating (those with genuine reasons as described by Difficult above are if course s totally different kettle of fish).

One of my Facebook friends combined Christmas virtue signalling with Elf on the Shelf by posting a photo of said Elf sitting on a bag of food holding a sign saying "food bank donations", with some faux modest status update about how it was done to remind her that she must take the bag of donations into school today.

I couldn't roll my eyes much harder.

So just ask for the 15 quid back so you can donate it to your usual charity, or whatever. Or just ask for it back.

I hadn't realised that hating Christmas cards was another of MNs competitive sports.

Honestly, if some people only donate to charity because they want to brag about it online, that's ok with me. Better than them not donating at all. And hey, you can always do what you should do whenever you find yourself irritated with people on social media (for whatever reason): unfollow them, unfriend them, or delete your account! Simple.

I don't mind the card announcements. The point of the post is not virtue signalling that they are giving to charity; the point is letting you know that they won't be doing cards so that nobody is a) expecting one from them, or b) will send them any. The charity part is just so people can't get annoyed about it because a good cause benefits (although, judging by this thread, so people still do get very, very annoyed about it).

So no, even though I love receiving and sending cards, the announcements don't bother me. Seems like a sensible thing to do.

At least they're doing something! I think people, especially famous people sharing on SM that they've made a donation is a good thing as people often like to copy what famous people do. So if just one extra person donates as a result it's worthwhile.
I always think it's a good thing that people donate Christmas cards to charity but for me Christmas cards are an opportunity for a catch up with people you're not in touch with regularly and we regularly donate to charities throughout the year. Either is fine!

Nah. I agree with Brefugee. I don't take a blind bit of notice of any FB crap, but if someone wants to make it clear they've donated to charidee, then I can't get riled by it.

The lazy, reductive, dismissive phrase 'virtue signaling' pisses me off far more, frankly. It's right up there with 'Liberal Snowflake' to me.

But this..."I'm not going to rattle off everything I've done for charity this year because that would be hugely hypocritical" gave me a smile.

Nobody likes smug virtue signalling, but humans being human we are actually influenced by what we see others doing. Charities generally encourage people to share on social media as it's free advertising for the charity and it encourages others to do the same. Showing that charitable giving is a normal thing that most people do is not a bad thing.(I'm a total hypocrite here as I never post on Facebook etc or share charity campaigns as I'm an antisocial cowbag )

@RosesforMama

I cant stand people who announce on social media "We have decided not to do cards this Christmas, but have donated a sum to [insert charity] instead"

Just admit you were too lazy to write cards and have (probably) assuaged your guilt by binging a tenner to the RSPCA (who you could have supported by buying their cards....)

One of my pet hates too.

I volunteer at a Food Bank and we are overwhelmed at Christmas, actually have to pay for more storage space , I politely ask people if they could kindly defer their donations until March when stocks run low and (some) get all huffy and clearly want the 'glory' of donating at Christmas.

My pet hate: "for the needy, not the greedy" (usually when giving away some old tat, out of date food or half a pack of nappies on Facebook)

@JeansNTees

Its the calls for people to donate x to local hospital/food bank/whatever but thru the person. So people give her loads of food, toys, whatever then she gets to take them and collect the praise which she then shares on social media with a picture of her doing her good deed. There's been more of these since Covid. I guess some people are desperate for attention and praise.

Or maybe things like that need organising.

I made a box for Woman's aid and was very thankful that someone had organised it. She had spent time and energy talking to the charity asking what they needed, organising it, picking up 40 boxes and dropping them off. Hopefully that meant 40 women in difficult circumstances got to smile while they opened their boxes so a picture on Facebook is and people praising her is hardly a bad thing.

YANBU. I do some work for a charity which would cost them £££ if I didn't, they have offered to credit me for the work I do on their materials which use it but I've said to them that I will only do it on condition that I do not get credited, I want it to be anonymous.

@LuckyNumberThirteen

A woman I knew kept posting about how she had bought food for homeless people. She was clearly doing it for the glory.

Drove me mad.

I send cards often. I make them and buy them. I send them for birthdays and graduations and thank yous and 'just because'. A well chosen and meaningful card is a wonderful thing. Most Christmas cards are not well chosen or meaningful. They are bought in bulk and scribbled out in front of the tv, an annual chore to be got through as soon as possible.

I only send about 10 Christmas cards now, mainly to older people who I won't be in contact with in any other way over Christmas. I don't receive very many either and I like it that way. They are a huge waste of money and resources.

I've got about 30 cards left in my Christmas stash and once I've used these up (about 2 years) I am not sending any more. Everyone is getting an email with a picture of my dog in his elf outfit.

Sorry @LuckyNumberThirteen. I tagged you by mistake.

Ugh it's one of the things I hate about Twitter. I don't know how people have the gall to announce their good works in that smug way - I hate it!

I do see the point that you're letting people know they won't get a card, but you could send out an email if that was all you wanted to do. It's about getting likes and showing off.

I don't understand the argument that there's no such thing as virtue-signalling - of course there is! Spend 20 minutes on Twitter and you see it everywhere. Of people can also be just genuinely kind and nice, but there are LOADS of people (and companies and institutions) just trying to get likes and woke points by showing off how caring and pure they are. And it's always happened, long before SM.

Just give to charity, don’t brag about it on SM or ask others for money if you want to run a marathon or sky dive etc.

Hate the card thing too, although it’s not as bad as buying goats, water etc and dressing it up as a gift. Rarely anything to do with the receiver of the gift and the person likely hasn’t donated their own presents.

I saw someone posting looking for somewhere to volunteer on Christmas Day. I thought to myself if you were a regular volunteer surely you’d know where needs volunteers on Christmas Day. Doing it more for herself and her ego than anything else I think.

Not particularly Christmas related, but I've been married for twenty years, and only just found out dh donates via standing order to three different charities - including a donkey charity. Never found the need to tell me. I love him for not seeing the need to to share with me or anyone else.

Ginger, agreed that if the charity asks for something, fair enough so long as the organiser ensures that everything makes it to the intended recipient. But random requests, say for toys for the hospitals, well right now they probably don't want toy donations that they have to disinfect just now if even charity shops aren't accepting them. Some requests do feel like the organisers need attention and praise. And having one person accept food for a foodbank when there are collection points at supermarkets seems like a self-serving task IMO as that particular organiser is keen on mentioning on social media how much SHE has done for the foodbank. And who is to say that she ensures that every item makes it to the foodbank? For that reason, the foodbank in question asks for donations at the supermarkets!

I understand that it can be grating, but working for a charity I can say it’s a great help if someone mentions us on social media in a positive way, regardless of their personal motives, as it raises our profile and gets other people to notice us. I work for a small local charity not a national well known one though, which might make a difference.

The Big Announce.ent a put not sending Christmas cards thus year.
Just bloody quietly get on with it.
What do you want a bloody pat on the back?

Puts me in no d of the #BE KIND messages.
Usually written by the coldest meanest nastiestbitches to walk this earth.

How sad would you have to be to derive pleasure from someone scribbling their name on a bit of cardboard?! grin

Sometimes little gestures go a long way, especially if someone is having a hard time. I get pleasure from sending and receiving cards, and if that makes me 'sad' in some people's eyes, that's fine by me.