AIBU to have just about fucking had it with men?

[PurpleFeather]

I’m sure some of you will pile on me to tell me “it’s not all men”, but right now I don’t fucking care.

Woke up to read about more horrific sexual attacks on women along my favourite running route (there have been many lately).

Dealt with some horrific sexism in my work meeting today (a “hilarious” conversation between male members of staff as to why men are just so much smarter than women).

Ended the day by receiving an e-mail from someone I line manage about how she approached inappropriately by a customer today.

So we can’t run safely, we can’t do our jobs and be seen as “equal”, and we can’t serve customers without getting harassed.

Today I am so so so angry. I am done with making excuses for men, and giving them the benefit of the doubt (“He probably brushed past me by accident”, and “he was only joking really”, etc). I am just totally, utterly done with male privilege and male violence rearing it’s fucking ugly head in every area of my life.

Fuck the patriarchy!

@ScienceSensibility shock horror you like the post yet again singling me out

Christ, I don’t jog anymore round my (posh) part of the city because of the assaults. Does make you despair!!
I was at a local beauty spot myself, waiting on a pal to finish some work , when I realised I was about 100 feet away from the busy tourist centre and quite by myself. And I just thought “ welp! Better get back before I get murdered here in this are of outstanding natural beauty......”
uuuurgh!!
It’s the shite sentences that these creeps get in the end. Like, put yourself through a trial for some judge to give them 4 years and be out in 2?
Raaaaaargh!
I’m pregnant with my first and we found out we were having a boy- and I did think “ oh well, at least he’ll never know the shitiness of being a girl and not walking about at night etc “
Hope I raise a respectful man ....

Something a bit trivial I've wondered about is how RomComs will be played out in future. Will they have to equally feature a woman romancing a man and if so, how popular will they be? tiptoes out

Sorry where'smykimchi point taken and thank you for your openmindeness. It's completely my own fault as I said - I read this entire thread in one go and picked up points as I went. (Like a snowball going rather fast...and ANOTHER THING), so I didn't give your pay the consideration it deserved. I'm afraid I started seeing red at the whatabouttery that seemed to be popping up more regularly as we went along. Sorry!

We were largely agreeing that women hitting men is funny/humiliating in drama, when in real life it is anything but. I do agree.

You'd have to be pretty obnoxious not to agree to at women's violence against men is horrendous and violence of any kind is abhorrent.

I am currently more angry about the state of the world where men's violence is so out of control, so I will admit to bias on that point. I can't get as upset about women attacking men, I'm afraid (I mean in general - and not in individual cases) because as a general problem, it is so vanishingly small in comparison.

*i also had a male acquaintance who ,at 35 years old, wanted a round of applause for “coming out as a porn addict” and the realisation that no, it was not cool to rank your staff in order of hotness or to see a woman in the street and then go home and find pornography that resembled her !?
He gave an interview about it , presumably with no regard to his ex girlfriend , about the breakdown of his relationship. She was probably mortified
Bloody narcissist ...

Jesus, kimchi you are beyond deluded. Who are you?
You are irrelevant to my viewing of this thread.

The post I declared as ‘outstanding’ was so for many reasons, the sum total of zero to do with you. Stop being such an attention seeker.

Are you lurking on this thread looking for imagined slights? Knock yourself out.

@ERFGLA

*i also had a male acquaintance who ,at 35 years old, wanted a round of applause for “coming out as a porn addict” and the realisation that no, it was not cool to rank your staff in order of hotness or to see a woman in the street and then go home and find pornography that resembled her !? He gave an interview about it , presumably with no regard to his ex girlfriend , about the breakdown of his relationship. She was probably mortified Bloody narcissist ...

No polite words for this. I know admitting you have a problem is I usually cause for celebration, but in this case....just...yuck.

I don’t know what kind of Men you know. I find this very sad indeed.

@ERFGLA

Christ, I don’t jog anymore round my (posh) part of the city because of the assaults. Does make you despair!! I was at a local beauty spot myself, waiting on a pal to finish some work , when I realised I was about 100 feet away from the busy tourist centre and quite by myself. And I just thought “ welp! Better get back before I get murdered here in this are of outstanding natural beauty......” uuuurgh!! It’s the shite sentences that these creeps get in the end. Like, put yourself through a trial for some judge to give them 4 years and be out in 2? Raaaaaargh! I’m pregnant with my first and we found out we were having a boy- and I did think “ oh well, at least he’ll never know the shitiness of being a girl and not walking about at night etc “ Hope I raise a respectful man ....

This is such a common lived experience for women.

I share your horror ERFGLA. I love being in nature, off the beaten track, but the contortions of risk assessment I have to go through to try and achieve those moments are just off the scale.
Now I always have to go with my partner or a friend, just so I don’t lose my life enjoying a peaceful hobby.

I’ve forgotten the source now, but does anyone remember that survey, where women were asked what they would do differently if there were no men? So many women would love to for a run or a walk at night without fear of being attacked.
I’m annoyed with myself that I can’t dig up the source. Can anyone remember?

@KittyKat2019

I don’t know what kind of Men you know. I find this very sad indeed.

Who is this directed at? All of us? Because yes - by sample size this is an awful lot of really awful men. I don't think we're all unlucky. Don't you think that might not show this is a MASSIVE widespread problem for men as a class?

Maudspellbody
He only got help in the end cos he was that deranged he couldn’t get it up ...
like , yaaay for you. You actual creep.
rolls eyes

ScienceSensibility
I know exactly what survey you mean , yeah. Like - walking about at 12am if there were no men.
And what precautions men take ( zero) as opposed to woman’s endless list
:(

As a woman and mum of girls l'm angry and I totally agree. As a mum of a gorgeous, kind and thoughtful young boy this makes me really sad.

@Ddot

When you've lost your job because you refused to sit on bosses knee get back to me

Been there done that. A whole afternoon of propositioning, telling ME why MY boyfriend was irrelevant (because he didn't look like he owned me.. I'm too wild for him.. wtf?!?) and the last parting shot of "I'll have a bath tonight and wank thinking of you.

One week later a coworker told me the boss said I was fired because "you didn't make that much on the Saturday". A pissing down,cold Saturday. It's not like I could go outside and drag people inside the fucking shop. But the implication was clear, he "suspected" me of stealing. Go away.. and do it quietly.

@Yellowcar2

As a woman and mum of girls l'm angry and I totally agree. As a mum of a gorgeous, kind and thoughtful young boy this makes me really sad.

I feel sad for our boys too. The ones brought up my feminist mothers and (hopefully) good male role models who will eventually (as described by a mother in a post above (sorry can't remember who now) will discover the shocking reality of how some other boys have been brought up to think about women. Then they will have to do the job of educating others, or just trying to keep their heads down and stay strong in their own beliefs.

It's heartbreaking for all of our children to have to realise this bullshit that pervades everything. The girls learn too young, the boys learn too late, sadly.

@KittyKat2019

I don’t know what kind of Men you know. I find this very sad indeed.

1.I doubt it.

1. Don't be a dick.
2. If you really don't... I'm happy for you. I don't wish harm (emotional,mental ,physical) on any woman , even patronising ones.

@maudspellbody

No.

I'm afraid of men...I spent a year scared my ex would kill me because he didn't get his own way. I have 2 DS and I'm a staunch feminist so I talk openly to my sons about sexism. It blows my eldest mind that women are seen less important as men. I pray he keeps this opinion. My eldest is the most caring, compassionate little boy you could meet and it makes me so proud, but it still doesn't stop me hating men. I'm sick of all this bullshit. Scared if a man is hanging around when I'm on my run, sick of the excuse that it's banter when men are being so obviously sexist. All the crap women put up with from men. I listen to my friends talk about their husbands/partners and I think thank god I'm single.

Ok, obviously you shouldn't have to but if you like dogs and can look after one I would go to a rescue centre and get a German shepherd they make great running partners and you will be 100% safe on any run. I'd hate to have that much negativity around me I must say. I couldn't stand it. Hope they're all caught also - about the attacks, that is horrendous!! Oh and if the dog pulls get a gentle leader head collar they make them much more manageable!

I remember once walking through town early evening and loads of people about and this guy who was with his mates put both hands on my boobs and said something suggestive. I think I told him to F* off, he laughed. I spoke to a police officer (male) shortly after who wasn’t remotely interested. 🤷🏻‍♀️Of course it was all a bloody big joke to everyone but me...

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@maudspellbody

No.[/quote]
No to what?

YANBU My biggest fear is that my two DS grow up to become like this. They're still little and my husband is a really great role model for them but how can you stop external influences?

I agree it’s exhausting and boring always having to think about these things, I’d love to walk alone at night like my husband does without a fear. I have literally 5 men who I trust and even they are still only at 95% for me there’s always that bit there I can’t shake off

Just popping in to say that Laura Bates' book 'Men Who Hate Women' is 99p on kindle deal of the day today. I'm just a little way in to the book but it is shocking and depressing.

Agree. They are manipulative lying tossers. And very good at the bullshit with others except with the poor sod on the receiving end