Annoying guests thread

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Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

@ivfbabymomma1

When 0.7 seconds after they arrive my entire house is covered in their things! I'm not a control freak or OCD but can they not unpack their suitcase in every single room in the house 😫

Goodness - this annoys me also.

Before people stay I obviously make sure the house is clean and tidy.

However when PIL visit (other than this they are lovely people/guests) within 10 mins of arrival it's like a glitter bomb has gone off.

Their "stuff" is everywhere. In every room, on every surface.

I honestly don't know how they do it, but from the moment they come in there is a trail of belongings everywhere (some of which they invariably forget when they leave and I have to post back to them).

Saying "I don't mind" to absolutely everything.

My mum will come and stay and everything I ask her, from what she wants to eat, to how she wants to spend time on the visit, is met with this answer. Drives me crackers.

^

My parents are like this.
It's like having another 2 kids in the house, they are rendered completely incompetent!

I have bought some of those mesh fabric baskets from IKEA, that fold up and each guest gets given one on arrival. This means they can put their phones, iPad, chargers, pills, cigarettes, keys, wallet, purse, book, magazine in one place, rather than everywhere all over the living space (my pet hate).

@Giggorata

I have bought some of those mesh fabric baskets from IKEA, that fold up and each guest gets given one on arrival. This means they can put their phones, iPad, chargers, pills, cigarettes, keys, wallet, purse, book, magazine in one place, rather than everywhere all over the living space (my pet hate).

Excellent idea!! My BIL leaves his spectacles on the worktop right next to the kettle - I feel like hiding them - he spreads bits of himself all over the house it's what he does at home but it's our house not his house. The worst is the snotty tissues - thankfully Covid has kept him at bay

People seem to be afraid of communicating their wants or needs, and see it as confrontation when all that is required is a polite request. It's as if everyone is walking around on eggshells with each other. Why?

Because in a fair number of families, there's an extensive history of a fall out with one member spinning out of control and leading to decades of strife/NC/LC?

In every generation of my family, there's a history of people not speaking to each other for literally decades. Even couples in the same household who insist on passing on messages via their children, even sat at the same dinner table - and leaving notes everywhere.

On in the communication front, how many times have you stood there and thought... do I strip the bed or not? Do they flush the loo overnight or will it wake the kids?
Do I bring food and risk offense or pay for lunch out? Do we help ourselves or would that lead to problems?

EmbarrassingAdmissions I must just be lucky that neither of our families are unreasonable, and we don't choose unreasonable people to be friends with.

BluebellsGreenbells

do I strip the bed or not? I ask
Do they flush the loo overnight or will it wake the kids? None of our friends have small children
Do I bring food and risk offense or pay for lunch out? No, because we discuss beforehand what we are going to do meal-wise
Do we help ourselves or would that lead to problems? That gets discussed on arrival

We moved & moved in together this year and I've been trying to decide how "spare roomy" to make the spare room - it's currently very officey due to covid. Thanks to this thread think I'll keep it as a study and not let on that the living room sofa is a sofa bed!

I hate guests that spread their shit everywhere- I'm really tidy and it makes me twitchy. Similarly, don't move my stuff- I am dyspraxic and lose stuff easily. Home is set up so I know exactly where everything is- it all has a place. I also like people who do their own tea/coffee/breakfast etc and we try and show people where stuff is so they can do that if they like. I also try and leave obvious snacks etc for guests so they feel at home and to avoid cupboard raiding to try and demand meals or going truffling to eat random stuff like the choc chips out the baking cupboard and then not telling me so I can replace them.

If you're coming for a visit and we've arranged activities, that's great. If I'm putting you up as a favour over night/a couple of nights and you're using us as a base, take the spare keys and crack on and please don't try to force me into your plans. Our last "base guest" was meant to be staying when DP was also around but before he lived here. She planned to stay for two nights and mentioned that the two people she'd planned to see on her full day here would love to see me too/she had expected I'd go with her and told them so. It was pointed out to her that her stay was a favour and I wouldn't be prioritising two people I wasn't actually over fond of above time with DP when she was already technically imposing on our at that point limited time together. It was SUCH a shame covid spiked again and she couldn't come...

I used to like having people over, and bent over backwards with food, drink etc every time. Covid has obvs meant I don’t do that just now and actually I have got used to being pretty selfish about my own space. I can now admit, I can’t stand people taking their shoes off without asking - I don’t want your potentially fungally infested feet on my carpets, thanks. If you like milk in tea or coffee, I suggest you bring some as I don’t use it. Ditto biscuits. Do not mess up my down stairs toilet by not putting the towel back Just So! If you don’t like pets on furniture, just don’t come round... I could go on. I feel liberated, lol

Catflapkitcat
Feeloading get rid. Dont buy alcohol for them or just say someone else is staying.
Hate that 😾 get lost, go away, bugger off.
Why should you provide a free holiday for them. I wouldnt in my wildest dreams turn up empty handed to anywhere. Got to stop, getting irate

People who eat you out of house and home but if you go to their house you have to pay for a takeaway!

Do you think they go home and have a good laugh about how gullible you are.
Hope not, maybe just naturally rude.
I'm rude enough to say bugger off, FREELOADER

@ddot it's my bloody in-laws! DH seen as walking bank. Drives me insane.

I love having dinner guests, but I hate having house guests for more than a night or two maximum.

DH’s family are all overseas and a couple of years ago stayed with us for 3 weeks 😕 4 adults and 2 wild children. It was tense!

One particularly memorable incident, DH had arranged tickets to an event that his brother would enjoy. BIL said he’d drive and they arranged to leave around 8am.

Due to DH’s job he sometimes gets short notice to do things - he unfortunately has to go and see someone in hospital the morning they were going to the event. Literally dying lady in ICU. He said to BIL he’d go at 7.30am and would be back just after 8 so they could leave. This was TOTALLY unacceptable to BIL, despite the fact DH had organised everything, we’d made sure there was plenty of food to make a picnic etc. He couldn’t possibly wait for DH to come back from visiting the dying lady and said DH would have to get the train!

I fully lost my shit and threatened to rip his fucking head off. I was pregnant and had put up with his screaming children for weeks and he couldn’t wait, maximum of 1/2 an hour for DH. Dick.

Jakeyboy1
Mmm you need to cook some crappy food, get watering down the wine or go tea total.
Tell them your on a health kick alfalfa sprouts and tofu. Pea milk and no heating.

My parents...who complain about everything that isn’t the same as it is in their house (which is almost nothing 😂) and tell us how they would have decorated...

And same stay as my above post, we were on holiday the week before they came. Apparently this was “inconvenient” and could they just come and stay in our house while we were away? Erm, that’ll be a no you cheeky fucker.

@blackkitty1234 How ridiculous. At least buy some UHT. How do you think some Muslims feel who keep alcohol in for their guests?! I don't drink Coffee but I keep it in all the time for guests and workmen etc.

If you refuse to buy any dairy then perhaps it's best not to have any more guests in the future.

My friends friends would duck and dive around paying their share. Rich and greedy sods but my friend is not and got taken for a ride. One day she said no ( splitting the bill) pizza and coke versus three course including steak. Got sent to Coventry for full day on holiday. Greedy greedy selfish, not friends

If you are against dairy for ethical reasons then dont buy. Your principles, your rules.
My friend is vegan, I have oat milk, I just shut up and smile

Sexnotgender
Good for you

I host regularly. Even the nicest houseguests manage to spread themselves around the house and garden (and my car). Inevitably they leave something behind. So it’s become my habit as I’m farewelling them to say ‘I’ll just have a quick look around while you’re loading the car, to see if you’ve forgotten anything.’ I am careful with my tone, but almost everyone looks a bit offended when I do this. They assure me they’ve got everything, with a raised eyebrow.

I go and check anyway, and ALWAYS emerge with something that would have been a complete faff for me to return to them. Their kid’s favourite truck toy in the garden, the family bathers on my clothesline, their work lanyard in the console of my car, etc.

I even have a box in a bathroom cupboard full of left-behind toiletries that are too good to chuck out, but not good enough to bother mailing back to them. Why is it always specialty shampoos for a different colour hair than mine, or baby creams and never glamorous bath salts or clarins body wash?

A now ex-friend of mine seemed to think my place was his free hotel any time he earned a night out in London. Once he messaged me saying he was coming down and did I want to go to clubs XYZ - no ‘Can I stay over?’, just the assumption that he would be.

I had another friend staying with me for a few weeks at the time as she’d split from her boyfriend (who owned their flat), so I said to friend one ‘Where are you staying? You’re welcome to the sofa if you haven’t got anywhere, but as you know, Sal is using the spare room at the moment’. I got a message back saying ‘Great. Going to need that spare room though - too old to be sleeping on sofas, lol!’

That wasn’t the final straw in the friendship, but it was one of many issues in the end.

Earned? Needed.

Invited guest plus family over for lunch. Went to the effort of making homemade pizzas and salad. She turned up with some prepacked roast chicken and a bag of salad she had picked up on route as she was on a diet. So rude, all she needed to do was say and I would have happily accommodated. Even her husband was clearly embarrassed.