Annoying guests thread

[qwertyuiop098]

Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

Once a year I overnight with a relative to escape a noisy carnival nearby. He budgets for one so I transfer him some money to pay for food/wine and he cooks a nice meal. I always have toast and yogurt for breakfast but take my own yogurt and dont expect him to get it in for me. I let him know when I will be arriving (usually 6 pm) and I am always gone by 12 pm next day so he can have his life back.

I love having guests but I do wish they would stick the kettle on themselves once in a while. I don't want to get up every hour to make another round of teas and coffees. If you want back to back brews all day long then don't just look at me and say, "Oooh pop the kettle on will ya love?! I'm parched here!" Or hold out your cup out towards me and say, "Go on then, I'd love one!" as I'm standing to leave the room. No. I'm going for a bloody piss, not the Kitchen!

On the other side of that I went to stay for a few days with my dying father. His wife had dogs that absolutely stank to high heaven. Dad hated them, especially when his hospital bed was placed in the room with the dogs downstairs. When his wife was out I got the hoover out, vacuumed the floor and opened a window for half an hour as I couldn't breathe with the strong smell. Now it was clean the smell was pretty much gone and dad was happy. She went mad. Told me the vacuuming was done on X day not today, and I shouldn't open windows. "We don't open them!" Apparently. Well tough. A host that doesn't clean their house is a bad host. I don't want a palace but basic hygiene is a must. Oh and not using the dishwasher for three days (because that's the day you usually put it on, but not allowing me to do any manual washing up? Grim. The smell every time the dishwasher was opened made me gag. Same goes for not allowing me to empty the food caddy or clean the kitchen units. Just because you have a specific day you do it on doesn't mean you should not do it when it gets dirty! The food caddy on the countertop had maggots!!!

We have always had a number of rescue Greyhounds and Lurchers, they are allowed on our furniture, we have covers on them and they are groomed and smell good. But even if they didn't, it's their home too. The GF shrieked when she saw them and proclaimed that dogs should not be in the house and how she had a massive problem with them being on the sofas. I told her in that case she has to leave right there and then and go to a hotel.

Didn’t anyone warn her about the dogs?

I would be freaked out to walk into a host’s house and find a number of greyhounds and lurchers on the sofas! I think I’d go straight back out again without saying anything 😂

She may have been scared of dogs. It’s horrible staying somewhere with dogs if you fear them. They follow you around, sniff you, lick you, growl when you nudge them out the way to get past.

In many countries and cultures all dogs are kept in the yard, never allowed indoors. Some people are repulsed by the thought of sitting on hairy sofas with dogs.

I don’t think you were U to kick her out but you sound mystified as to why she had an issue with a number of large dogs on the furniture. They may not smell to you but they will to others. And if you’re not used to indoor dogs it’s like finding pigs or goats or Shetland ponies on the furniture!

Some of my family have dogs but the dogs are treated as dogs not humans eg never allowed on the furniture, always fed after humans, always told to move if they’re in someone’s way, sent outside for bad behaviour. I don’t mind visiting these houses but I can’t stand it when dogs are treated as equal to humans.

In many countries and cultures all dogs are kept in the yard, never allowed indoors. Some people are repulsed by the thought of sitting on hairy sofas with dogs.

Couldn't care less. My house, my rules. Don't like it, pay for a hotel

Couldn't care less. My house, my rules. Don't like it, pay for a hotel

I’m sure she had no qualms paying for a hotel if she was afraid/repulsed by lots of big dogs on the furniture. I was just wondering why nobody thought to tell her about the dogs before they travelled overseas to visit you?

I think if you’ve invited someone to stay, you’re in the position of host so obliged to tolerate some of their peculiarities?

Especially if they’re scared of your pets (and you failed to pre-warn them you had pets) why not offer to shut the pets in a different room while guest is present? What if she was allergic?

I remember visiting my friend for the day and it turned out she had a big dog (great, as DC is scared of dogs so wouldn’t leave my lap). Dog lay across the doorways and refused to move eg when I needed to take DC to the loo! My friend told me to step over him 😂 I pointed out she needs to make her dog move aside for people and she asked how. So I shouted ‘Move, get behind’ at him and he pottered off to his basket looking mildly surprised!

@Ineedaduvetday

In many countries and cultures all dogs are kept in the yard, never allowed indoors. Some people are repulsed by the thought of sitting on hairy sofas with dogs.

Couldn't care less. My house, my rules. Don't like it, pay for a hotel

Exactly! Don't tag along, inviting yourself and then try to lay down the law in our place. And no, the dogs do not smell. These kinds of hounds have no dander and are groomed regularly and we frequently have visitors who confirm there is no dog smell, as I do appreciate that we may no longer smell it ourselves. I could not give a flying fuck whatever country or culture a guest hails from, if they expect to stay in our home, they will have to accept our culture and home life. That is such a weak and bullshit argument though anyway because if followed to the logical conclusion, someone could come to your place and object to you not being totally covered up or indeed even present as a woman because ya know, it's not the done thing in their country and culture.

@Coldilox

People who strip the bed they’ve slept in before they leave. Drives me mad!

@Coldilox out of interest, why does this irritate you? As a host, I really appreciate when guests strip the bed

PS: Did not see the subsequent post. I did not invite this woman, she invited herself. She was rather brazen and had many control issues, so would not let our friend come visit us by himself. Again, it does not suit us to shut away much-cherished rescue pets, they are part of our household. Anyone else would have known this though. And no, if this is an issue, I expect people to make alternative arrangements and stay in a hotel. We are a private home and do not cater to guests on a professional basis. Either you accept our living arrangements as they are with plenty of dog-free furniture, the hounds have their own favourite sofas, or you are not staying with us. Unlike the countless CFs on this thread, we are very hospitable but do not allow guests to dictate our lifestyle to us. We would not put up with it and seethe about it throughout and afterwards, we make it very clear from the start. As for allergies, well, again, the dogs are actually dander-free, so should be fine for anyone with an allergy but again, if this is an issue, they will need to stay somewhere else. Everyone who knows us is well aware that we have numerous animals and are involved with international pet rescue groups, so often have some emergency foster. I don't expect other people to share our passion or love animals but they will have to respect our home, our rules.

I could not give a flying fuck whatever country or culture a guest hails from, if they expect to stay in our home, they will have to accept our culture and home life. That is such a weak and bullshit argument though anyway because if followed to the logical conclusion, someone could come to your place and object to you not being totally covered up or indeed even present as a woman because ya know, it's not the done thing in their country and culture

But did she know you had house dogs? Presumably she spent quite a bit on flights and travel to get there.

Many many cultures regard dogs as unhygienic (including cultures where women are not required to cover up).

I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss cultural norms completely. Asking the host to cover up or stay out of sight is completely different to objecting to dogs on sofas.

When I see dogs on sofas I always want to shoo them back to the floor and tell them off, because in my family dogs are forbidden from being on furniture. I have to bite my tongue and make a mental note not to re-visit.

I can’t imagine being able to relax in a room full of dogs. Fine for the owner, who knows each dog and it’s temperament. A bit unnerving for guests.

People who strip the bed they’ve slept in before they leave. Drives me mad!

I wasn’t the original poster of this but i don’t like it either when they strip the bed.
Because the mattress protector has a large coffee stain on it! As does the duvet. Both have been washed multiple times but the stains remain. A guest once fell asleep with a whole mug of coffee balanced beside her.

I’m always mortified when guests strip the linen in case they think it’s a bloodstain or worse! We really should get new ones.

I like dogs. I grew up with them, but I agree that dog owners who put their dogs before their guests comfort are inhospitable and inconsiderate. And I don't like dogs on furniture either.

I adore cats and used to have two. We used to have a friend who really disliked them. It wasn't a hardship to shut them out of the room for a few hours.

I love having guests but I do wish they would stick the kettle on themselves once in a while. I don't want to get up every hour to make another round of teas and coffees. If you want back to back brews all day long then don't just look at me and say, "Oooh pop the kettle on will ya love?! I'm parched here!" Or hold out your cup out towards me and say, "Go on then, I'd love one!" as I'm standing to leave the room. No. I'm going for a bloody piss, not the Kitchen!
Oh yes , a friend of mine has a relative to stay pre Covid .
The relative will not lift a finger during the stay , but say if I call round I'll be knocking on the door and friend will be busy in kitchen and relative won't even answer the door will just shout my friend that I'm at the door so friend will have to rush from kitchen to answer door .
Also putting kettle on fetching glasses of wine , honestly my friend is like a waitress walking around with this bottle topping glasses up , I have to tell her to sit down will get a drink if I need it . She won't say anything either it's just expected as gone on so long .

This woman was not invited. She tagged along and invited herself, then tried to lay down the law in our home. It really doesn't matter whether she knew about the dogs or not. I did not ask her to come, she turned up with our sheepish mate who was mortified by her behaviour. If anyone shooed my dogs of their spaces, they will be asked to leave firmly but politely. Someone else's cultural norms, tastes, or phobias do not take precedent over our home life. We do not run a hotel, in which case obviously you would consider people's issues with for example dogs. Just because people may not be able to relax in a room full of serene and calm Greyhounds, does not mean we will turf out our much-loved pets. If it is an issue, don't come. We would be unlikely to be friends with people who have no affinity to dogs. Having guests, being hospitable and welcoming does not mean that visitors get to dictate if pets who actually live there have to leave the communal area. What an outrageous and presumptuous expectation.

I think if you’ve invited someone to stay, you’re in the position of host so obliged to tolerate some of their peculiarities?

That they like their tea a certain way, of course. They want to dictate how I live in my own home, no way.

I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss cultural norms completely. Asking the host to cover up or stay out of sight is completely different to objecting to dogs on sofas.

My house, my rules. You don't get to come into my private space and dictate your beliefs on my life.

When I see dogs on sofas I always want to shoo them back to the floor and tell them off, because in my family dogs are forbidden from being on furniture. I have to bite my tongue and make a mental note not to re-visit.

I don't care what you think about dogs on the sofa. You are a guest in my house and should respect the way I live. If I knew you felt that way about dogs, you wouldn't be invited anyway

@Ineedaduvetday

I think if you’ve invited someone to stay, you’re in the position of host so obliged to tolerate some of their peculiarities?

That they like their tea a certain way, of course. They want to dictate how I live in my own home, no way.

I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss cultural norms completely. Asking the host to cover up or stay out of sight is completely different to objecting to dogs on sofas.

My house, my rules. You don't get to come into my private space and dictate your beliefs on my life.

When I see dogs on sofas I always want to shoo them back to the floor and tell them off, because in my family dogs are forbidden from being on furniture. I have to bite my tongue and make a mental note not to re-visit.

I don't care what you think about dogs on the sofa. You are a guest in my house and should respect the way I live. If I knew you felt that way about dogs, you wouldn't be invited anyway

Now you would get a red carpet rolled out for a visit Chez Les Krampus

This woman was not invited. She tagged along and invited herself, then tried to lay down the law in our home. It really doesn't matter whether she knew about the dogs or not. I did not ask her to come, she turned up with our sheepish mate who was mortified by her behaviour. If anyone shooed my dogs of their spaces, they will be asked to leave firmly but politely. Someone else's cultural norms, tastes, or phobias do not take precedent over our home life

Fair enough, I thought you’d invited them as a couple. Guess she didn’t know about the dogs.

But you sound very inflexible about people’s cultural norms, tastes and phobias. Don’t we all adapt our home life a bit when we have guests? It’s no threat to your home life to change things temporarily.

Eg you wouldn’t serve meat to a vegetarian guest? Or expect an (invited) guest to sit in a room surrounded by large sofa dwelling dogs if they were fearful of them? Or would you?

Dogs don’t have ‘spaces’ on the sofa in my world 😂 I’m sorry if it offends you but I find it hilarious anybody thinks dogs will suffer if they have to vacate a sofa for a guest.

In our family people (including guests) come before dogs. The dogs are happy and well cared but they understand humans come first.

We've also got a sighthound and anyone who thinks they can keep a sighthound off the sofa has never met a sighthound I.alwau grew up in a. House that kept dogs off furniture (labradors) but it just isn't really the thing with a sighthound.. she's currently lounging in my bed. Also as stated by PP sighthounds really don't smell.
I'd never shut my dog out of the room, apart from for a very short period. She's a rescue and suffers from SA so being shut in another room can be very traumatic for her and she can become very destructive.
Our guests just have to accept her though we would of course keep her well behaved and away from someone who was scared (as in, to sit by us rather than the guest). Of you're scared of dogs Id just recommend we met elsewhere rather than at my house...

You are a guest in my house and should respect the way I live. If I knew you felt that way about dogs, you wouldn't be invited anyway

So your guests should sit on the floor if the dogs are on the sofa? 😂 Or do they have to share the sofa with the dog?

I can’t imagine putting the comfort of dogs before the comfort of guests.

I like dogs. I grew up with them, but I agree that dog owners who put their dogs before their guests comfort are inhospitable and inconsiderate. And I don't like dogs on furniture either.

I don’t really care whether you like dogs on furniture or not. I’ll hoik her off if she’s taking up the last space on the couch, but in my house, my dog is allowed on the sofa. She won’t be shut in a different room. If someone doesn’t like that, there are plenty of hotels and b&bs.

When I see dogs on sofas I always want to shoo them back to the floor and tell them off, because in my family dogs are forbidden from being on furniture. I have to bite my tongue and make a mental note not to re-visit

like you’d be invited back anyway

All of my friends and family know I have a dog, it is not a surprise to anyone when they arrive.

We love to cook and know how to prepare a wide range of vegetarian and vegan dishes. There is no issue with our hospitality if people respect our home set-up. We have a large open plan downstairs area with numerous comfortable chairs and sofas. Enough for the hounds, us and quite a number of guests. Most of our guests though like to cuddle up with our dogs. But we certainly do not expect them to. But we are generally friends with people who share a love and compassion for animals, so tend to not socialise with folk who have little respect or understanding for our rescue pets. We do not expect to bring our dogs to someone else's home though. Guests do not trump the wellbeing of our beloved dogs. We would not be inviting anyone who cannot comprehend this simple concept.

The example about foods and catering for guests reminds me of my SIL who claims to be a very committed vegetarian. DH and I caught her eating something that was clearly meat-based but just chuckled to ourselves, she is extremely controlling towards my brother who isn’t a vegetarian by choice and will eat meat in secret while at work. Again, that’s their business. When Sil came to visit my parents, they made delicious vegetarian meals, they have a large herb and vegetable garden, so can easily accommodate vegetarians and vegans. They are very thoughtful and considerate in ensuring that cooking utensils, cutting boards etc are all kept totally separate from any dishes that contain meat. They have a summer kitchen and grill a lot, again, they have two separate grills, so can use one for vegetarian BBQ dishes. A dear friend, a long-term Vegan still raves about their amazing hospitality and the fact that they offered such delicious food when all too often she would struggle eating out or staying with people who don’t know how to cater for a Vegan. My father even made Vegan cake for her, researching non-dairy, no eggs recipes. However, SIL tried to dictate to them that they should not only eat no meat or fish during their stay but have no such food in their own home. My parents politely refused to be told what to eat or forego their favourite dishes, especially seafood. Sil and my brother don’t come to their country often but always stay in a nearby B&B, which ironically does not cater solely for vegetarians.

We've also got a sighthound and anyone who thinks they can keep a sighthound off the sofa has never met a sighthound grin

There is that too...

Following with interest

My niece has 5 dogs in a very small house. SIL never goes to visit her at her house for this reason. Actually, no-one visits niece at all. Niece always has to go to SIL's house if they want to see each other.

But we are generally friends with people who share a love and compassion for animals, so tend to not socialise with folk who have little respect or understanding for our rescue pets

People can love and respect animals, and have compassion for rescue pets, without allowing them on the furniture.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t let yours on the sofa but please don’t imply people are cruel, disrespectful or unloving if their rescue pets are treated differently.

My brother has 2 rescue hounds. They live in a kennel in his garden but come indoors if guests are ok with it. They’re strictly forbidden from getting on the sofas, respond instantly to voice commands and are the happiest, friendliest dogs I’ve met. They’ve been trained to let humans go through doorways first, never snatch food (they always get fed after humans) and will return to their kennel on command. My brother walks them for hours each day, adores them and has lots of friends with dogs.

The difference between him and people who let their dogs rule the roost IME: his hounds are obedient, under full control and guests are not scared of them. They don’t take over the house or get under people’s feet.

You don’t need to treat dogs like people and give them sofas to be an animal lover.

You don’t need to treat dogs like people and give them sofas to be an animal lover.

This^^ absolutely. I class myself as an animal lover, but animals are not people.