Annoying guests thread

[qwertyuiop098]

Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

No. Its cruel because dogs are pack members and its distressing to them to be locked away from their pack for an extended period of time.Its not about time. Them its called treating them humanely..

Indeed they’re pack members, that’s why people usually get more than one dog. And most dog trainers will tell you to establish yourself as pack leader (not pander to them as if they’re human children). Letting them eat with you, sit on the sofas, push ahead of you can lead to all sorts of dominance problems, undesirable behaviour and hierarchy confusion.

It’s not inhumane to put a couple of dogs in their kennel or another room. All my brother has to say to his 2 rescue hounds is ‘kennel up’ and they both scamper eagerly to their kennel in the garden. They enjoy snuggling up in there.

@HikeForward sounds like your brother has a set up with his dogs that works for him. Well done him!

Also sounds like @Krampusasbabysitter has a set up that works for their household too.

You do realise that Krampusasbabysitter (and everyone else) doesn't have to live by your own (and your brother's) house rules don't you? There's no right or wrong here, no "one" way to live life.

The difference is that Krampusasbabysitter is not telling you (or your brother) that how you live is wrong. They simply maintain that how they live is up to them (and people who don't like it don't have to stay). And, likewise, what you and your own family do is up to you/them.

Are you always so rigid in your thinking that you cannot recognise other people's freedom to live in a way that differs to yours? Is there always a "right" and "wrong" way to do things as far as you are concerned?

@Krampusasbabysitter

PS: Did not see the subsequent post. I did not invite this woman, she invited herself. She was rather brazen and had many control issues, so would not let our friend come visit us by himself. Again, it does not suit us to shut away much-cherished rescue pets, they are part of our household. Anyone else would have known this though. And no, if this is an issue, I expect people to make alternative arrangements and stay in a hotel. We are a private home and do not cater to guests on a professional basis. Either you accept our living arrangements as they are with plenty of dog-free furniture, the hounds have their own favourite sofas, or you are not staying with us. Unlike the countless CFs on this thread, we are very hospitable but do not allow guests to dictate our lifestyle to us. We would not put up with it and seethe about it throughout and afterwards, we make it very clear from the start. As for allergies, well, again, the dogs are actually dander-free, so should be fine for anyone with an allergy but again, if this is an issue, they will need to stay somewhere else. Everyone who knows us is well aware that we have numerous animals and are involved with international pet rescue groups, so often have some emergency foster. I don't expect other people to share our passion or love animals but they will have to respect our home, our rules.

I would love to visit someone with non smelling dogs all over the house!! That's just pure joy! But also even if you don't like dogs, basic manners would mean you don't start to dictate to your host that their way of life is wrong.

Most people who put sighthounds in kennels tend to be part of the cruel and exploitative dog racing industry. Greyhounds are not outdoor dogs. Goes to show that some people have no clue of the concept of a beloved family pet if they house them in outdoor kennels. Sighthound rescue groups would not home any dogs to people like that.

@SleepOhHowIMissYou Very well put! I avoid people who try to dictate to me how to live. But it boils down to the basic principle, each to their own home rules, in their own homes.

You do realise that Krampusasbabysitter (and everyone else) doesn't have to live by your own (and your brother's) house rules don't you? There's no right or wrong here, no "one" way to live life.

Of course. Live and let live! I was objecting to the poster saying it was inhumane to put dogs in a different room because they are ‘pack animals’ and will suffer 😂

@goingtosnow Bless you! People often comment just how relaxing it feels with such calm, serene dogs. I wouldn't say graceful or elegant as some tend to lay there with their legs in the air They are PAT (Pet as Therapy) dogs who visit hospices. For that reason, they are wormed even more regularly and we ensure they are clean. The nurses in the hospice even allow them to lay with a couple of the patients who can barely move but want to cuddle up. They have also participated in some studies that showed a significant reduction in blood pressure after people spent a while caressing them and in another study that while cuddling and caressing them, patients needed less pain relief. Some people don't get the pleasure and comfort they give, that's their loss but don't try to dictate how people live in their own homes.

But also even if you don't like dogs, basic manners would mean you don't start to dictate to your host that their way of life is wrong

How is it about someone’s ‘way of life’ being right or wrong? I thought it was about etiquette when hosting.

To me, basic manners means human guests come before pets. So if a guest or visitor is nervous or uncomfortable around dogs, the animals get put in another room/crate/kennel. Because they’re not human and don’t need to be treated as human.

Of course you can warn all potential friends you have lots of big free roaming indoor dogs that sit on sofas. They can choose not to come. But that limits your social options somewhat, unless everyone you know has the same set up at home.

We've also got a sighthound and anyone who thinks they can keep a sighthound off the sofa has never met a sighthound grin

May I suggest the Facebook group 'sigh hounds on sofas', it's hilarious.

@HikeForward You find it funny that traumatised rescue dogs suffer from separation anxiety...? We get it, you, your brother and family have no real affinity with dogs, they are lesser things to you that are put in kennels. That's your prerogative. But don't try and interfere with the way other people live in their own homes and expect them to cater to unreasonable guests.

We choose to socialise with people that have an affinity to dogs in our homes. There are many and we do get a lot of visitors (before lockdown and current restrictions). Otherwise, people can meet somewhere outside the home. Basic manners mean to respect someone's home and all of its inhabitants.

The whole gist of the thread is about unreasonable CF guests. So, it's quite poignant when some illustrate just how this comes about when guest feel entitled...

You find it funny that traumatised rescue dogs suffer from separation anxiety...? We get it, you, your brother and family have no real affinity with dogs, they are lesser things to you that are put in kennels.

I find it odd that people get rescue dogs then pander to their separation anxiety by never addressing it. Eg keeping them in the same room as you (all the time) instead of consulting a dog psychologist or trainer and working on the dog’s anxiety. What happens if you need to travel somewhere or you need surgery and they have to go to boarding kennels for a while?

PAT dogs undergo rigorous temperament testing and behaviour tests to ensure they’re suitable to work in that role. I’m confused as to how a dog with separation anxiety or unaddressed psychological trauma could pass PAT testing.

No real affinity with dogs because they are kennelled? They are happy and content in their kennel. Dogs don’t need sofas and constant human presence to be happy. IME people who treat dogs as dogs have far more affinity than people whose dogs are treated like humans. It’s not treating dogs as ‘lesser’ beings it’s having an understanding of pack psychology and remembering they are dogs not humans.

Well, this thread has definitely changed from the original premise! Can we get back to annoying guests, not annoying each other regarding dogs?

@inappropriateraspberry

Well, this thread has definitely changed from the original premise! Can we get back to annoying guests, not annoying each other regarding dogs?

Exactly my point!

Egad but theres some bollocks being talked about dogs in here..

1/ Not pack animals (ref: Bradshaw, Coppinger, L. David Mech, Wynne and more)
2/ Dogs evolved to be with humans, they are a social species and not equipped to spend time alone. They can be trained and desensitized to cope, but its not natural for them and it takes work.
3/ Dogs thrive better with consistant rules that they can understand, suddenly changing the rules and expecting them to cope with something new such as being shut out of the room alone, away from people can and will cause distress for many dogs.
4/ Dogs who suffer separation anxiety or Separation Related Problems need careful training and behaviour modification which is not 'pandering' to their SA but dealing with it properly - this is what I do for a good portion of my job!
5/I find it in equal measure hilarious and infuriating when people insist on treating dogs like dogs... and then blart a load of bullshit that boils down to treating dogs like some sort of idealized made up wolf thing. See point 1.

Back to awful guests, I have just been reminded of OH's father who stayed for Christmas one year, supposedly to see OH, but in fact spent all his time on his fucking ipad facetiming his new girlfriend, or getting stroppy that people were paying more attention to a small child than to him (ie, didn't want to listen to the same story about his model train set for the 93rd time). He hasn't been invited since!

Since we moved to our new house, not had guests to stay over! Had my parents over during the day & they've always gone home at a reasonable time! My dad keeps hinting about staying over at our house to have a break from my mum lol 😂 We're not really keen on the on the idea of him staying over as my dh works 6 sometimes 7 days a week & works late nights so it's not really convenient having him stay. Plus we have a 19 month old that's having quite unsettled nights at the moment!

WiddlinDiddlin. Is your FIL Rod Stewart?

@Catflapkitkat .... he also plays guitar and keyboard and wants to tell you at length about that too.... mmmm.

Hahaha

When you have people over, cook a nice meal for them and they sit on their phones the entire time. Really effing rude.

@HikeForward

But also even if you don't like dogs, basic manners would mean you don't start to dictate to your host that their way of life is wrong

How is it about someone’s ‘way of life’ being right or wrong? I thought it was about etiquette when hosting.

To me, basic manners means human guests come before pets. So if a guest or visitor is nervous or uncomfortable around dogs, the animals get put in another room/crate/kennel. Because they’re not human and don’t need to be treated as human.

Of course you can warn all potential friends you have lots of big free roaming indoor dogs that sit on sofas. They can choose not to come. But that limits your social options somewhat, unless everyone you know has the same set up at home.

Our dog is part of our family. I love him more than I love any guests 😁. .

Egad but theres some bollocks being talked about dogs in here..

I know, right!

I’ve never had any annoying guests. Just lovely ones and ones that make for excellent in-jokes for many years

In all seriousness, I love hosting and and it is always such a joy to make people welcome in my home

@Holly60

I’ve never had any annoying guests. Just lovely ones and ones that make for excellent in-jokes for many years

In all seriousness, I love hosting and and it is always such a joy to make people welcome in my home

Same here. We don't invite people we don't like into our home.

When 0.7 seconds after they arrive my entire house is covered in their things! I'm not a control freak or OCD but can they not unpack their suitcase in every single room in the house 😫

My step Mil will ask if I have some very specific type of biscuit or coffee. If I don't I'll say I can just pop to the shop (2 minutes down the road) and pick some up. She always insists I don't because she'd feel too guilty but then spends half an hour dramatically sighing and telling everyone what a shame it is as she really fancied a shortbread/particular brand of coffee/glass of oat milk.

To which I’d reply ‘Well why didn’t you bloody bring some? Stop sighing like some melodramatic idiot!’. Ridiculous. I could not put up with that shit.