Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoying guests thread

326 replies

qwertyuiop098 · 08/12/2020 14:29

Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

OP posts:
Mybedislisting · 12/12/2020 18:05

FIL leaves dirty teaspoons next to the kettle which I’m constantly cleaning up cos I’m worried about tea marking the worktop - ffs just turn your back and put the bleeding spoon in the sink!

He’s lovely though (other than that)

Flibbertigibbet2211 · 12/12/2020 19:28

I hate having visitors (except my own parents when they were alive; I loved them and loved having them to stay and we knew all each other's foibles already). But I hate being an overnight guest in other people's houses even more. In particular I'm an early riser anyway at home, but I find it completely impossible to sleep in when I'm a guest because I'm so tense (think 5.30-6.00), and yet would never impose by getting up then. So I lie there rigid until the hosts are up and then try not to get in their way. It's just miserable Sad

alexdgr8 · 12/12/2020 19:51

@Coldilox

People who strip the bed they’ve slept in before they leave. Drives me mad!
why ? others would be complaining that they don't even strip the bed.
Flibbertigibbet2211 · 12/12/2020 20:14

I hate being watched or spoken to when I’m in the kitchen

Yes, me too! Don't know why. My mum was a bit like this too. My (now adult) children know it and give me space.

FangsForTheMemory · 12/12/2020 20:18

Can I say from the opposite point of view, hosts who have very odd eating habits and expect the guests to go along with them. I stay with people who only eat lunch: no breakfast, no dinner. Just lunch. I ended up going to the corner shop for Haribos for dinner. Other people I stayed with had their tea at 5pm as usual, although I was arriving at 7pm the same evening. I mean, WTF?

HikeForward · 12/12/2020 20:19

I find it completely impossible to sleep in when I'm a guest because I'm so tense (think 5.30-6.00), and yet would never impose by getting up then. So I lie there rigid until the hosts are up and then try not to get in their way. It's just miserable sad

Why don’t you get up quietly, make yourself a coffee and take it back to your room with a good book? Or into their garden if it’s summer?

I have no problem with guests doing this. I tend to be up at 5:30 myself, much as I dislike guests talking to me at this hour I have no problem with them coming down to make themselves a drink or breakfast. One of my friends gets up at 6am on the dot, goes straight out for a run then has a shower when she gets back, she’s very quiet and doesn’t disturb anyone.

Flibbertigibbet2211 · 12/12/2020 20:38

HikeForward Unless someone volunteered "Do help yourself to tea and coffee" I wouldn't think it appropriate to do so (TBH I don't like anyone else doing anything in my kitchen although I wouldn't actively complain if they did). Also I wouldn't want to be seen until I'd showered and dressed, but wouldn't want to be occupying the bathroom until I was sure the host had finished.

Don't think I expect to be waited on without reciprocation; I do always offer to help in any way I can, washing up, chopping etc. and leave everything clean and tidy (prefer to strip beds but don't want to embarrass hosts if mattress shabby etc.).

Fortunately since I split up from my exH years ago I've been largely able to avoid either having visitors or being one, which solves the problem!

FangsForTheMemory · 12/12/2020 20:43

@Flibbertigibbet2211 I've stayed with friends who did not get up until midday on my first day there because it was a Saturday. I helped myself to coffee and toast at 8.30am. This raised eyebrows, but I don't think it's any worse than leaving your guest to stew for half a day while you have a weekend shagfest.

Flibbertigibbet2211 · 12/12/2020 20:46

@FangsForTheMemory

GrinGrin

Polyxena · 12/12/2020 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HikeForward · 12/12/2020 20:58

HikeForward Unless someone volunteered "Do help yourself to tea and coffee"

I always tell my guests this, and give them a guided tour of all the kitchen cupboards as well as the house.

Like you I don’t like to be seen in my PJs and dressing gown so if a guest quietly slipped downstairs to the kitchen I’d stay huddled on the sofa hoping they’d take their drink back upstairs or into the dining room 😊

Hangingover · 12/12/2020 21:11

How hard is it just to get a pint of dairy milk?

Depends a bit if it's preference/allergy/moral objection... all my friends know I'm vegan and wouldn't except me to have dairy in.

Flibbertigibbet2211 · 12/12/2020 21:19

HikeForward Will bear the tips in mind Smile

lalafafa · 12/12/2020 21:29

One lifelong friend is always on some kind of diet when she stays, turns her nose up when I say I’ve got regular milk, lactose free and oat as she prefers cashew milk in her coffee.

unipixie · 12/12/2020 22:10

My worst guests woke early on a Sunday, rearranged and "cleaned" my lounge, rearranged my kitchen, cooked a big breakfast for themselves and used all my milk, so I had nothing but black coffee.

unipixie · 12/12/2020 22:13

The worst host was someone who followed me around her house when I went to the loo, and stood outside and waited. I tried to make myself a cup of tea while she put her children to bed, couldn't n I, only to discover she had put all tea bags in her bedroom. Never felt so unwelcome.

draughtycatflap · 12/12/2020 22:22

Nosey guests that scream when they open the fridge and find a severed head on the shelf. I can’t abide noise.

jakeyboy1 · 12/12/2020 22:30
  • people who eat you out of house and home but if you go to theirs you have to pay for takeaway!
  • people who say "you've run out of toilet roll/soap/milk" I never run out of anything and it's always v obvious where it is (eg toilet roll holder next to the loo!)
SameToo · 12/12/2020 23:13

I strip beds everywhere, hotels, friends, family, because I’m paranoid about people not washing sheets between guests and go with the logic that if they didn’t wash them for me they have to wash them for the next poor bastard!

Sundaypolodog · 12/12/2020 23:41

A fairly new first time mother - a relative, who came for the weekend before she arrived she sent me a list of baby things to get - this was before online orders or click n collect - I happily obliged and bought organic baby foods, nappies, wipes the lot it was at least £50 worth. She arrived and dumped masses of baby equipment all over the kitchen, bathroom, hall and bedrooms shoving our stuff out of the way. We were expected to mind baby as she was so tired and really only wanted to read her kindle, ignoring any cries of her baby and make her meals on demand. When she finally left telling us what a lovely relaxing time she'd had. She never paid me for all the baby stuff I got her - ok I should have pushed her but I never offered to get shopping in for her again.

Olivetreekeeper · 12/12/2020 23:58

I'm the opposite of getting annoyed at guests wh ooutsray their welcome. I get annoyed when you have people over for the weekend and they head off first thing on the Sunday! You've had a fab evening (and they regularly come back so I don't think they're running away) and I recommend a lovely walk I know for the morning and what kind of breakfast do you fancy etc etc and they're always "oh no were meeting XXX for lunch so we'll dash off before breakfast" and I'm left with a fridge full of breakfast stuff. If I stay with someone for the weekend, I keep both days clear rather than stacking in my appointments...

Krampusasbabysitter · 13/12/2020 01:12

Both living in central London and in a holiday resort in the south of France meant that over the years, we have had countless mostly distant acquaintances announce how they were planning to come in their holidays and would love to see us. Every single time, someone tried to use us as a free hotel, I would gushingly reply how excited I was to see them too and to let me know what hotel they were staying at, so we could meet up at a nice restaurant. Funny enough, never heard back from them. Both DH and I like to entertain but we are very open and direct, so except for one person, no one ever behaved badly. We are very welcoming but also very open and upfront about our expectations and make it clear that people cannot overstay due to us having plans. There was only one time, we had a rude piss-taking GF tag along with a dear friend, within minutes of their arrival, I was already loathing her. We have always had a number of rescue Greyhounds and Lurchers, they are allowed on our furniture, we have covers on them and they are groomed and smell good. But even if they didn't, it's their home too. The GF shrieked when she saw them and proclaimed that dogs should not be in the house and how she had a massive problem with them being on the sofas. I told her in that case she has to leave right there and then and go to a hotel. Our friend was mortified on her behalf and apologised profusely. We made her leave, there is no bloody way that anyone comes to our home and tries to dictate to us that our beloved dogs cannot be in their own home. They are no yard dogs. Glad to say that the relationship did not survive that holiday. It's fascinating to read this thread but we just would not entertain this kind of behaviour. I am always amazed that people do not speak out about it.

BuzzingTheBee · 13/12/2020 01:23

Being invited to a party and asking to have the football on, er no and sitting on your phone all evening.. very rude.

sneakysnoopysniper · 13/12/2020 01:36

I dont encourage overnight guests as I live alone, budget for one, and dont have a spare bedroom. My problem is with uninvited visitors in this day of universal internet and mobile phones. I run a business and just cant be bothered with people under my feet when I have work to do.

I once got into an emotionally abusive relationship with a very needy neighbour when I was working at home several days a week. She would arrive to ask me to do something (she could perfectly well have done for herself) and still be here 3 hours later. Hints of "I must get on now I have work to do" fell on deaf ears.

Eventually I got CCTV and when I saw it was her knocking I ignored it. When she did finally catch me in the garden I told her that the University no longer allowed working at home so I was not able to see people in the day. Fortunately she lived in the next street so was not able to see when I came and went.

She eventually got her claws into someone else and then moved to another area. Sighs of relief.

Nowadays I talk to neighbours through a locked gate and make a point of not inviting them in.

thosetalesofunexpected · 13/12/2020 01:51

Good thread idea op
I have never hosted a guest
But I have a few times been a guest ,been enjoyable experience,fun
I allways make ensure I don't over stay my welcome tho.

I wouldn't mind/like to be a hostess for a change..