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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoying guests thread

326 replies

qwertyuiop098 · 08/12/2020 14:29

Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

OP posts:
Bella43 · 08/12/2020 14:43

Not taking their shoes off only to discover that they stepped in dog shit before coming in and have tramped it through my house.

VickyEadieofThigh · 08/12/2020 14:49

When people come to stay and know perfectly well we always cook a nice dinner and spend a lot of time doing it - and then only pick at it because we "stopped off for lunch on the way".

Trufflepuffpuff · 09/12/2020 03:49

I like this!

I have a good friend who always takes off her shoes and socks and puts her feet up on the sofa. It makes me 🤢. I have Uk ask her not to do it every time she comes over (she doesn't live nearby so not often).

Guests that insist on "helping" in the kitchen but just get in the way. One friend will always bring elaborate salad ingredients then spend ages assembling it and using all my equipment (I don't ask her to do this, she's just quite particular).

Yes to guests that don't bring anything.

I'm sure I'll think of more! It's been a while..

GoldfishParade · 09/12/2020 03:58

One of my most important habits is I take about two hours to properly start engaging with the world in the morning. So say I get up at 7, I then potter around for two hours, have multiple coffees, sit on the sofa, go on Mumsnet, cuddle my cat, moisturise, etc.

Basically if you stay at my house, please don't get up early.

So my top annoying thing is when you hear them get up like 10 minutes after you, or even worse, when you're about to get out of bed and you can hear the kettle being turned on!

GoldfishParade · 09/12/2020 04:01

I much prefer being a guest than having guests, the main reason being you can just chill and enjoy whatever they have planned, and crucially, you can end the situation whenever you like (and I'm all for shirt and sweet stays).

When you're the one hosting, you have to rely on them NOT hanging around until 5pm the next day. Also I feel a bit awkward like I have to find things to entertain them with, things to do.

Monty27 · 09/12/2020 04:02

I just don't do it any more
Plus I'm probably the worst guest to stay overnight if it's boozy. I can't move until I've recovered 🤣

annoyingguest · 09/12/2020 04:11

Because I live in Australia, all guests are longer stay, which I don't mind at all. All but one have been delightful.

BUT

The one, refused to hire a car, i.e. expected me to drive them everywhere, who after I did airport pick up and drop off + sightseeing tours of places I'd seen a million times before, pissed and moaned when I asked them to pay for a tank of petrol. Oh, and when they did the usual, and welcome, pay for supermarket shop, complained about items I'd included as too expensive. This was Aldi.

We haven't communicated since.

BitOfFun · 09/12/2020 04:15

I much prefer having guests than being one. Being a guest is fraught with tension about pissing your hosts off about something you don't realise is an issue.

I have friends to stay quite often (Covid permitting), and I can honestly say that none of them have annoyed me at all. I'm not bothered if they don't bring a gift (I've never noticed the lack of one, tbh)- my view is that they have spent money getting here, perhaps arranging childcare, enduring a long drive or the hassle of booking train tickets etc etc, so I'm just happy that they've come. They'd have to do something pretty awful to really annoy me.

I'm here for the stories though Grin.

tobee · 09/12/2020 04:21

Turning up early.
Hanging about trying to chat to me when I'm cooking - it's usually the stage where I'm trying to get everything done. But I often get stressed cooking to timetable.

I want to be a better host and to chill out.

violetbunny · 09/12/2020 05:04

Saying "I don't mind" to absolutely everything.

My mum will come and stay and everything I ask her, from what she wants to eat, to how she wants to spend time on the visit, is met with this answer. Drives me crackers.

These days I just tell her what is going to happen and she just goes along with it.

howsicklyarsekissy · 09/12/2020 05:25

I have a friend who when staying over, you just can't get rid of. We are talking 2/3 days when she finally leaves when it was a meant to be a one night stay (usually impromptu after a night out). The last time she came I had brand new bedding on. I kindly let her have my bed and she shit the bed. I was gutted!

Catflapkitkat · 09/12/2020 05:44

I love having people to stay. Love hosting but one couple arrrggghhhh. Old friends of DH turn up for a weekend (up to three days) empty handed with the 'we never know what to bring as you don't drink'. Okay - but YOU both drink and expect us to provide all the wine, beers and nightcaps which we do because we are hosting. Worst still the husband makes snarky comments about the wine like 'I can tell you don't drink'. 'I didn't even know they still made this'. 'This is for chips' Still manages to drain the bottles though.

One time I thought I called their bluff by saying well there's chocolates, flowers, a plant, nice biscuits, sweets for the kids, a candle, were not fussy. The wife said 'Great ideas for next time'. But turned up empty handed every time afterwards. It's even wearing thin with DH now. It's just rude.

Same couple without my knowledge knocked on the neighbours we barely knew to borrow ski equipment because they were too tight to hire it from the local place.

He has also suggested I make them all a packed lunch and flasks to take skiing as it will be cheaper. Cheaper for who? We are providing all the meals and snacks. I actually refused this one and said the ski slope is a struggling family run business and their very reasonably priced cafe is a way we can support them. He stomped off making Mutley type grumblings.

Malin52 · 09/12/2020 06:03

Couples with small children (at home being looked after) who come over for for the three course dinner you have prepared. Who then refuse anything other than tiny tiny portions and leave most of it because they 'ate earlier with Harry and Gertie because it's so important to have a family mealtime' and who then yawn continually and leave an hour and half after they arrived because they've been up since 4.30am with their devil children.

DriveThroughSwabber · 09/12/2020 06:10

Catflapkitkat I'd be inclined to not buy any alcohol at all, and when they ask, say that they never like what you get, so they can buy their own. With any luck, they'll get the hump and never come back.

AlternativePerspective · 09/12/2020 06:13

Generally I am lucky, the guests we usually have are either my parents who are no trouble, will help in the kitchen etc and my dad does all my DIY, Wink or a friend who raves about my cooking and is really no trouble.

However, I once offered a friend a place to stay as she and her DH were passing through. They rang and asked could they come a day earlier, no problem, then turned out they’d met friends earlier that day so didn’t turn up until 10:00 that night. They had their dog with them which I knew about, but took her upstairs despite the fact I said I would rather dogs not go upstairs as mine aren’t allowed.

The next day they stayed in bed until 2:00, we went out for coffee and then came back for takeaway which I ended up paying for.

Then the next day the husband comes down at about 12:30 and says would it be possible to eat earlier as his wife gets travel sick, so as they were leaving that evening they would like their dinner now

Never again.

chavocado · 09/12/2020 06:36

I hate having house guests and avoid it like the plague these days. (apart from my sister who helps loads and is always a pleasure).

Notahotelorabandb · 09/12/2020 06:38

Bringing their own pedestal mat because you don’t have one rates pretty highly.

Muckish · 09/12/2020 06:43

Some of these people are outrageous, but I also think some complaints are a bit unreasonable — people are complaining about guests not helping but also complaining about people hanging about in the kitchen or using all the equipment, and I do think you can’t specify a time your guests are allowed to get up at.

Catflapkitkat · 09/12/2020 06:52

Drivethroughswabber. In my dreams. I have had had to bite my tongue so many times. We have never been invited to theirs - I have said 'we should visit you next time' but there is always an excuse, moving, long distance trek, renovating, none of which has happened. I couldn't care less if I never saw again but DH has known him for over 30 odd years and does the 'you know what he's like, it's just the way he is' argggghhh

ichundich · 09/12/2020 07:10

Guests who use you as a free hotel because you live somewhere popular.
Guests who don't leave until 5 pm the next day.
Guests who leave almost as soon as they've arrived.

LasagneLady · 09/12/2020 07:17

I also think it's not unreasonable to get in a pint of ordinary milk if you have guests. You can't assume they will like oat milk, and really how much does it cost just to buy a pint?

GooseWhiskers · 09/12/2020 07:20

What are you expecting people to bring?? I’d never expect gifts etc for having people over to stay, how odd.

For me, can’t stand if I have friends over to stay and they stay up really late meaning they’re too tired the next day to do anything.

I live over 200 miles from most of my friends so am usually pretty happy if any of them make the trip to see me 😂

Notahotelorabandb · 09/12/2020 07:21

Oh another one- guests who ask at breakfast every morning what’s for dinner later? Don’t know why this one annoys me so much!!

movingonup20 · 09/12/2020 07:24

Annoying as these are, I've had some real issues being a guest, dd is autistic and all our friends know, we have been invited to meals and to overnights with kids included, but I stopped accepting invitations because of hearing snide comments when they thought we weren't in earshot that my dd is rude (she doesn't bother speaking most of the time and especially not with strangers) and that we needed to be stricter with her, nothing wrong with her etc. Girls do often present differently.
Biggest issue was appalling eating, only a limited palate, others don't get how hard you worked to get her to accept peas and carrots and I was quite willing to bring her food if easier

boredboredboredboredbored · 09/12/2020 07:39

@howsicklyarsekissy

I have a friend who when staying over, you just can't get rid of. We are talking 2/3 days when she finally leaves when it was a meant to be a one night stay (usually impromptu after a night out). The last time she came I had brand new bedding on. I kindly let her have my bed and she shit the bed. I was gutted!

Does she have bowel issues?! If not you need new friends 🤮