Annoying guests thread

[qwertyuiop098]

Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

Before corona...people who know we live near to the city centre and the pubs open late so ask if they can stay over. And are then horribly sick in the night waking me up (my bedroom is next to the bathroom).
People who know we have a cat but loudly announce they dont like animals. Dont come over then.
People who come to see you but spend half the time on the phone checking in with their other half or texting.
People who want a picture of everyone together for fb/insta where they look fabulous and I look a hot flustered wreck having ran around cleaning and cooking.
People who we make meat dinner for and then screw up their face at dd and me eating vegan meals.

One guest who loudly shooed my cat off the seat it was sitting in - there were other seats and she lives here!

Guests who insisted all food had to be organic - except of course when they ordered takeaways

My MIL who brings an entire car full of random things, as if our house has nothing in it. Including a set of those old fashioned things you attach to taps to make into a shower - we have a shower!

The guest at Christmas who put on their own really bad Christmas tape so it was like being trapped at the Supermarket

Mostly though I love having guests - I miss it

I love hosting guests, but the outstanding ‘bad’ guest I remember was when my ex sister in law had just had her baby. She lived right over the other side of the country, too far for just a day trip and she obviously wanted to visit her own mum (my lovely but sadly no longer with us ex mil)

We had given them our lovely bedroom as it was much bigger and therefore better for them with having the baby and the carrycot/pram top (1980’s) next to the bed.

SIL and her husband would spend all day at her parents house, they’d eat breakfast at mine, then leave me with their dirty cups and bowls and go out all day. They’d then arrive back at ours at close to midnight and go straight to bed. It peaked on the final night when they asked if we’d mind having baby in with us to give them a break.

"ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

As a host I think it is rude not to provide milk for a guest when you know perfectly well that they don’t like oat milk. I can drink it in coffee but, as a tea drinker who has tried every plant milk under the sun, only proper cow’s milk hits the spot in a cup of tea – not just for me but for most people. How hard is it just to get a pint of dairy milk?

People who strip the bed they’ve slept in before they leave. Drives me mad!

Why? I would be very happy is anyone did that for me. I would never re-use the same bedding for someone else without washing it in between.

Fortunately the family and friends who have stayed with us are lovely, and are properly house trained

Guests who you invite over for lunch. Who bring a big bag of random food to use despite you having already said you've got bits in for lunch 😤

@liveitwell

Guests who you invite over for lunch. Who bring a big bag of random food to use despite you having already said you've got bits in for lunch 😤

See, if a potential host said they had 'bits in for lunch', I could easily see how someone invited might think that sounded rather minimal and as if the host hadn't got the ingredients to make an actual meal, so perhaps they should bring food themselves, or risk going home hungry.

When my friend comes over and starts telling me how I can improve the decor and how the house could do with an extension (it's actually a decent sized house).

When people don't take their shoes off and walk mud all over the house.

When they don't get the hint that they should leave and they stay for hours. One friend brings her kid over and says "right, time to go now" to her kid, and then stays another 3 or so hours even when my baby and toddler are quite clearly kicking off and doing my fucking head in.

At my parents house I'd ask about stopping the beds, depending if us 2 are the next ones staying.
If I INSISTED on changing the sheets, I think she would be aware enough to realise they needed changing, even if it's us 2 in them again next time.

I hate guests where I don't have a clear end time. Luckily I mostly travel by train so can confirm exact arrival and leaving.

People who know we have a dog and then complain about it and keep shoo- ing him away or go into mock hysterics every time our affectionate Labrador goes near them.

Who leave used cups and glasses all over the place

Who's children demand all kinds of foods and then don't eat it leaving platefuls of water food everywhere for us to clean up

Who stare at everything you eat and make comments on how "weird" you are because I don't like marmite or jam etc or eat muesli for breakfast

People that struggle to get their aim right and wee all over the toilet floor

Similar but different, we went away in our two berth camper van and some friends were staying nearby and everyday they turned up with their elderly father at 10 am and took up all the available seats expecting us to make them breakfast in this cramped space while we then had to sit outside as they'd taken all the seats. Then expecting us to make them cups of tea in the afternoon

Oops, I don't know where the word water came from😀

A while back we had quite a few people over for a celebration for something I can't quite remember. Anyway, we all decided to use my house for the party as it had the biggest area for seating for everyone. Everyone agreed we would all cook/provide something for the feast And we all agreed in advance who would bring what so we didn't end up with 15 quiches.
One person, renowned for being quite lazy/selfish was given the task of a basic salad.
They turned up with a tub of tomatoes, a whole cucumber and a whole lettuce which they presented to me on arrival so that I could then make the salad.

we never have overnight guests but i have brief visitors who like to comment on everything, i really feel like saying 'if you have just come to tell me how shit everything in my house is i can just email you pictures'. its relentless 'why is the paintwork chipped'.. the kids did it, why are the toys everywhere.. because we have 5 kids, it just goes on the whole time, she is normally hurried along out the door by her daughter who brings her before i blow my top.

Also would like to know more about the bed shitting mentioned above, was she ill, drunk, did she tell you or try and hide it.........

We live in a tourist area, so are always very popular during the summer.

We’ve got a lot better at saying no, but regularly have close friends and family over and some have really pushed their luck

SiL and family stayed over for a week, her then 3 year old was in a super strict nap schedule, meaning she expected us to sit in the house, in total silence between 2 and 4pm every day

Friend came to stay for a week - knew full well we have a dog - then demanded I shut the dog outside at all times as he didn’t like dogs - er, no. That’s happened a few times with different people actually - they always get short shrift

Friend stayed for a week, half way through the week I asked if they could grab some milk on their way home from a day out. Fully expected me to pay them back the £1.20

Another friend is obsessed with our heating. Walks in the house, declares it’s far too hot then goes around turning the heating down, opening windows, etc. Er, fuck off. The thermostat is set at 18 ish so we’re not talking about a sauna here.

Mil every Christmas ,walks in and demands tea then stays in her seat expecting to be waited on, puts her dirty feet on the sofa, complains her feet are cold and always asks to borrow socks (bring some with you and as her feet are always manky I make DH give her a pair!).

She eats a full three course dinner saying ‘oh I don’t eat much, my stomach is like an egg cup these days’ then complains an hour later she’s hungry, won’t eat anything but crisps and chocolate at this point. Last year she ate two tubes of Pringles in one sitting.

The next day she doesn’t get to till after 12 and then faffs for around two hours getting ready (she doesn’t shower so what takes so bloody long? The bedroom she has been staying in is a bombsite, dirty cotton wool from make up removal, clothes all over the floor, used interdental brushes left lying on my lovely dressing table. Then she wants fed so DH will make her tea and whatever she likes for breakfast, as we would do with any guest. Last year he made her porridge which she ate then I sat down with toast and jam and she put a petulant face on ‘I like toast and jam, make me toast and jam son!’

Finally after faffing like fuck we shoehorn her out of the house (we only usually get standard Christmas days off so we lose most of Boxing Day ffs) then she forgets something, moans about being in the back of the car, then says ‘I need to go to Asda as I’ve got no food in the house!’ I hate supermarkets on Boxing Day but we duly do it. We deposit her back home then DH ends up putting shopping away while she sits on her arse on the sofa talking at us just as she’s been doing since the day before! She then demands tea to be made for her in her house.

Not this year, no siree, 10pm Christmas Day she is getting driven the 20 minutes home. I can’t wait to actually do nothing on Boxing Day for once!

A couple came to stay at our family holiday home in a fairly remote part of Spain on the basis of 'come use the house as a base' rather than 'we will organise an itinerary spend all day with you'. They were told the house was rustic and about a mile up a dirt road and a drive to the nearest town and beach. All guests that come to stay hire their own car so they have independence - these people arrived and only then said that they couldn't drive! So the whole stay (several days) had to be organised around them, with us being chauffer and tour guide.
We also lend the house to friends and occasionally acquaintances. The only requirement is they leave money for the cleaner to clean the house and wash all the bed linen. More than once people have stayed, not left any money, and then told us that they tidied the house instead and put the sheets in the wash. Except of course the house is never left that clean, someone has to take the sheets out and dry and put them away, and the cleaner always is booked to come the day after the guests leaves so are expecting payment to be there. You are getting free accommodation why can't you just pay the cleaner?

@howsicklyarsekissy

I have a friend who when staying over, you just can't get rid of. We are talking 2/3 days when she finally leaves when it was a meant to be a one night stay (usually impromptu after a night out). The last time she came I had brand new bedding on. I kindly let her have my bed and she shit the bed. I was gutted!

I'm sorry but this has really tickled me. I really wasn't expecting those last two sentences 😂

But seriously, wtf?!

The "normal milk" one I think you're in the wrong there sorry OP!
We don't drink milk (I have almond, DH none), and I always buy milk if we have people coming. Family/friends but also including if we have a plumber/decorator/builder etc coming! - I normally also give them the milk to take home if there's any left, as we'll just end up binning it otherwise!

Saying "I don't mind" to absolutely everything.

I do this because a) I genuinely am not a fussy eater/drinker and b) I like to eat things that others make that I may not have tried or tried that way before!

I also don't like to put my hosts to any trouble so I'm happy to fit around them and their routines

I don't like guests that don't make themselves at home. I love having people to stay (hah - remember those good old days?!) but I can't be dealing with remembering to ask them if they want a drink etc, regularly. If you want a drink, go and get one yourself! Sure, if I'm going, I'll ask, but I don't have many hot drinks, so if you want one you're going to have to take the initiative!

@FrangipaniBlue

Saying "I don't mind" to absolutely everything.

I do this because a) I genuinely am not a fussy eater/drinker and b) I like to eat things that others make that I may not have tried or tried that way before!

I also don't like to put my hosts to any trouble so I'm happy to fit around them and their routines

I appreciate that you're genuinely easygoing, @FrangipaniBlue, but it can get wearying! My mother is a chronic 'I don't mind'-er, because she thinks it's 'good manners'. You'll say 'Look, I live here, so I can go on either of these walks every day, but you're only here today, so you decide -- by the river, or up the hill?' and she'll say 'I don't mind' while we're standing in the cold.

She even does it to waiters! They'll ask for her order and I swear she thinks it's rude to just say 'I'll start with the salad and then have the plaice', she thinks, in the teeth of all logic, that it's 'nicer' to look helplessly at a busy waiter, smile and say 'Oh, I don't know -- I don't really mind' and then make a beseeching face, as if he should actually order for her. Aaargh.

@lurker69

we never have overnight guests but i have brief visitors who like to comment on everything, i really feel like saying 'if you have just come to tell me how shit everything in my house is i can just email you pictures'. its relentless 'why is the paintwork chipped'.. the kids did it, why are the toys everywhere.. because we have 5 kids, it just goes on the whole time, she is normally hurried along out the door by her daughter who brings her before i blow my top.

Also would like to know more about the bed shitting mentioned above, was she ill, drunk, did she tell you or try and hide it.........

oh fil does this. "why do you want that there?" "why are there toys everywhere" (two kids - your grandkids - duh) "oh you don't want to do that with the house" (yes we do its our house not yours).

his partner also snoops through our stuff. and needs to know everything. literally everything. i had put "appointment" on calendar the other week and she saw it and demanded to know what it was for. I just said it was personal. and i didnt want to discuss it. she wouldn't let it drop even when it was getting really awkward. i just told her to shut up in the end

Lateness. Messing with my stuff.

It always amazes me how many mumsnetters know so many rude and self entitled people.

Maybe we have the sort of personalities where we just don't make friends with these kind of people - perhaps we have a good bullshit radar? Luckily our families are great. DH's family never go and stay with anyone. MIL did when she was alive, but she was lovely, and I love it when my sister can come and stay.

In laws are terrible.

I ask every time please take your shoes off and they never do. Drives me mad.

While I’m seeing to the baby MIL cleans my house in secret. I’ve asked her time and time again not to. My house, my rules, but she is ‘helping.’ It’s not helpful if I say no and I find it offensive!

Always bring their going off food and half eaten scraps from home to put in my fridge. My favourite is half eaten and usually putrid stale home made cakes! MIL has actually gone through my bins in the past and got something I’ve thrown out (unsalvageable mouldy Tupperware) washed it and put it back in my cupboards.

Arrive early and leave late, sometimes by days- always impromptu too. Asking what we’re doing before and after planned visit and if we’re free, they tag on extra time.

MIL has actually gone through my bins in the past and got something I’ve thrown out (unsalvageable mouldy Tupperware) washed it and put it back in my cupboards.