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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoying guests thread

326 replies

qwertyuiop098 · 08/12/2020 14:29

Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtains · 09/12/2020 17:02

@endofthecorridoor

How about the ones that bring their own Bluetooth speaker and start playing their own music as soon as they arrive ..... ggrrrrr
Oh god what fresh hell is this?
FrangipaniBlue · 09/12/2020 17:11

She even does it to waiters! They'll ask for her order and I swear she thinks it's rude to just say 'I'll start with the salad and then have the plaice', she thinks, in the teeth of all logic, that it's 'nicer' to look helplessly at a busy waiter, smile and say 'Oh, I don't know I don't really mind' and then make a beseeching face, as if he should actually order for her. Aaargh.

That is quite funny @Muckish but I'm not that bad!!

I've seen people mention it a few times on MN so I've been trying to say it less Grin

ddl1 · 09/12/2020 17:16

People who criticize how I do things in my own home.

People who insist on coming to 'keep me company' while I do something in the kitchen such as washing up. It's nice of them to offer - especially if they offer help - but due to having some co-ordination difficulties, anything of that nature requires my complete concentration, and I can't be chatty (plus being nervous about being criticized - see above); so please take no for an answer!

I would find it annoying if people trample dirt onto the carpet, as in the first reply; but fortunately that hasn't often happened!

DeRigueurMortis · 09/12/2020 17:30

Hosted a party about 5 years ago. Roughly 30 people.

Children were staying at GP's for the weekend.

Party was for the most part a success apart from one male guest who got ridiculously drunk and left early....or so we thought.

Woke up the next day and went into sons bedroom to get some washing from his basket as I was going to put a wash on of the napkins/tablecloth used the night before.

Walked in to find drunk man in my sons bed next to a pool of vomit on the carpet.

Rather than leave he'd obviously sneaked upstairs...

The stench was appalling.

Told DH to deal with him (his friend) and get him out sharpish then got down to the grim task of making my sons room habitable again (obv cleaning the carpet which took ages even with the Vax but also re-washing the "fresh" bedding I'd just put on the day before Angry) and opening the windows to get rid of the smell.

I was really quite pissed off....

Ginfordinner · 09/12/2020 17:52

While I’m seeing to the baby MIL cleans my house in secret.

Why is that a problem? Does she have lower standards than you? Or does she move stuff around?

If she wants to clean why don't you give her something specific to do instead?

wigglerose · 09/12/2020 18:02

People who come for lunch and then announce they've eaten.
I responded that I'd invited them for lunch.
They explained it was because they were vegan.
I said I was vegan too.
They said they didn't know. We'd chatted about it several times. I gave up at that point..

Squirrelblanket · 09/12/2020 18:05

I don't like people arriving empty handed. I don't mean I expect gifts, but often when we have guests it's the sort of occasion which centres around food and drink. I expect to provide the food and some drink, but I don't expect to provide a free bar all weekend as it gets really expensive.

But my main one is people outstaying their welcome. I always do a really good breakfast in the morning and my ideal scenario is breakfast, one last cup of tea/coffee and off you go. I can't stand it when people just hang around, I want to get on with my day.

I prefer if people don't strip the bed as I like to wash the sheets just before someone comes to stay so it smells really fresh. And I don't like the look of the room without the bed made up.

TillyTopper · 09/12/2020 18:05

House guest liaised with DH and made arrangements to stay just after we moved in. DH was away for work so I had to buy a new bed and small table and lamp from Ikea, build it, make the bed, clean the ensuite etc. When they went they complained that there was no bathroom bin and I should "look into getting one" as they wanted to throw away their hair from their hairbrush but there was no bin! (There is a bin in the kitchen, it was 1 night - couldn't they have taken it home?!)

FizzyPink · 09/12/2020 18:09

I would rather guests bring nothing! I hate when they bring one of those really cheap bottles of wine that are about £4 in corner shops and look it as well! I end up giving them away to raffles or tombolas Blush

Ginfordinner · 09/12/2020 18:09

It strikes me that most of the issues are caused by communication problems. Why don't people talk to each other and make it clear what is happening or what is expected?

CorianderQueen · 09/12/2020 18:19

When they bring booze to share and then take the leftover alcohol home with them 🙄

BluebellsGreenbells · 09/12/2020 18:27

I prefer if people don't strip the bed as I like to wash the sheets just before someone comes to stay so it smells really fresh. And I don't like the look of the room without the bed made up

This! This so why I’d prefer people not to change the sheets

gabsdot45 · 09/12/2020 18:29

last year we had a family dinner to introduce BILd new girlfriend to the family. I made a big roast sunday dinner for everyone. BIL and GF arrived and then picked at their food.
My DD who is 13 and hs no filter kept asking them did they not like their dinner and eventuall GF admitted that they'd just had a big lunch in a local restaurant.
DH was fuming. His brother is an idiot at the best of times and he said he expects behaviour like that from him but what about her. What kind of person gets invited to a family dinner and then eats just before hand
So rude
They went to live in the US and are illegal now so perhaps we'll never see them again. Hopefully

AriesTheRam · 09/12/2020 18:31

The thought of having guests over night fills me with dread

Susanwouldntlikeit · 09/12/2020 18:44

The thought of having guests over night fills me with dread
Same here. The only guests we have are friends of the (20s) DC and the DC are responsible for them.
I hate staying with people as well-would rather stay in an Ibis and never understand why people try to insist.(looking at you SIL)

Ginfordinner · 09/12/2020 18:45

@AriesTheRam

The thought of having guests over night fills me with dread
Why?

We live so far from family, and our friends are scattered now, that the only way to see them is to either go and stay with them or for them to stay with us.

Not every guest is a self entitled arsehole.

TheOrchidKiller · 09/12/2020 19:06

Shock of recognition & sympathy for the posters who have been subjected to the Spanish Inquisition over personal appointments on the house calender, & the washing of incredibly manky items no longer wanted & thrown in the bin. It is not ok to do this.

"While I’m seeing to the baby MIL cleans my house in secret"

Why is that a problem? Does she have lower standards than you? Or does she move stuff around?
It's a problem when your own house is not dirty or untidy, & when you have spent a day making it clean & tidy before guests arrive it is actually hurtful. It isn't helping to move your host's stuff so they have to put it back later.

AriesTheRam · 09/12/2020 19:09

@Ginfordinner ive only ever had one person overnight,its not something I'm used to.All family and friends live locally anyway so its unlikely would happen again.

CorianderQueen · 09/12/2020 19:13

@Coldilox

People who strip the bed they’ve slept in before they leave. Drives me mad!
Surely that's just good manners? You're not going to leave them on for others are you??
underneaththeash · 09/12/2020 19:15

I agree too on the milk. If you choose to eat something unhealthy and fake you shouldn't expect your guests to and I don't drink milk myself.

I also hate people taking the sheets off. A pile of sheets on the floor when I have other washing to do isn't helpful.

Africa2go · 09/12/2020 19:22

What are you expecting people to bring?? I’d never expect gifts etc for having people over to stay, how odd

If people are coming to stay for a night or two at Christmas, it's so bloody rude not to offer a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates. We have somehow fallen into a routine of hosting ILs in our house every year as we have a kitchen diner and whilst I do enjoy it and like that they feel comfortable here, I do think its bad manners to turn up with nothing when they know how much it costs to supply food and copious amounts of alcohol for about about 8 extra people for 2 or 3 days.

LabCoatPocket · 09/12/2020 19:22

I like to host, and fuss people, and look after them, but I have my limits.

Parents who expect you to parent their children for them, whilst they just sit back. Or allow their children to be really (and I am easy going) badly behaved. I had one guest whose nine year old told my very elderly neighbours to fuck off when they looked over the fence to say hello. His mother said absolutely nothing.

Extreme fussiness with food without prior warning. Don't eat what you don't like, but give me the heads up so you will eat something, even if it is just a plain cheese sandwich with the crusts cut off, on Warburtons thick white bread.

Guests who don't leave is a major bastard. But worse is guests that arrive early, because they are bored but who know you are working full time, and have kids and time is precious and very organised in the last few hours before the expected guest arrival.

And guests who invite themselves back! No! Stay away until we say come back. At least give me the space to not have to think about you for a bit.

EsmeCrowfoot · 09/12/2020 19:27

Standing in the kitchen trying to talk to me while I'm cooking. I'm not a relaxed host at the best of times (social anxiety will do that to a person!) and find it absolutely impossible to cook with someone talking to me. I appreciate that they want to chat to me, but much prefer to do it when I can give them my full attention. I don't want to seem churlish so I tend to let them, but it stresses me out bigtime. Plus they get in my way when they insist on standing in the kitchen. Grin

EsmeCrowfoot · 09/12/2020 19:30

While I’m seeing to the baby MIL cleans my house in secret. I’ve asked her time and time again not to. My house, my rules, but she is ‘helping.’ It’s not helpful if I say no and I find it offensive!

OMG, that would give me the absolute rage. Mind you, coming from my MIL it absolutely would be meant as a 'little hint' that I don't keep the house clean enough.

Squirrelblanket · 09/12/2020 19:30

@Ginfordinner

I am happy to tell them to bring some beers etc.

I'm yet to find a polite way of saying "and please sod off after the bacon and eggs." Grin