That in the pandemic hasn’t all been bad

[Shiraznowplease]

I am wondering if AIBU in feeling the pandemic has not all been bad. I am aware I may get flamed and yes it has been horrendously bad in people dying, difficulties nor seeing loved ones and problems for business. But I feel for me , and talking to friends, others too it has made me/us grateful for my family and friends. It has shown me what is truly important, stopped the endless round of business trips for dh and after school/weekend activities for the children and instead we have spent quality time together playing games, cooking and enjoying one and another’s company. My Dc have seen dh more this year more than the rest of their lives combined.

I am a health professional so have worked all through the pandemic but have been grateful to have PPE, even if initially I had to source and fund it myself although the stress has been incredible, I feel I have made a real difference to my patients.

I am lucky that dh could work from home in a relatively secure job.

I have missed my parents and meeting with friends dreadfully though am thankful for zoom, FaceTime and other things so we could keep in touch.

It has also brought out, in my experience, community spirit and helping each other out.

You were always going to get flamed for such a provocative post. Yes, it might have been alright for you and yours, but you are coming across as very self congratulatory. Don't you have any empathy for those thousands of people who have lost loved ones, been financially ruined?
You would have been wiser to keep your thoughts to yourself.

@HijabiVenus

To quote jack sparrow "the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude to the problem".

So far about 60000 have died. Of these a large number are likely to have died from pre existing conditions. This does not make it ok.

However the way States and countries have handled it, the way councils, companies and law enforcement is open to question.

Some businesses are simply unable to trade. Some businesses have adapted very well and shown great initiative in confronting and overcoming the situation. They deserve out support and success.

Some people have gone to pieces, some have hidden on the corner "poor me". Others have volunteered, bitten the bullet and braved the risks. More power to them.

Attitude.

Except there’s a vast difference between outcomes as op shows.

Compare extra time at home with financial ruin etc.

It’s not just better attitude. It’s circumstance.

You seem to have been one of the lucky ones.
Now imagine your husband lost his job, your mortgage was 9 months in arrears and one of your loved ones had died alone in hospital without you there!

Rather insensitive of you to be spouting about how much fun it’s been for you op.

Oh I'm so happy that the pandemic has been good for you OP!
For many, many others it has been horrendous - losing loved ones, financial collapse, being separated from ones we love, stress, worry, lonliness, mental health issues etc etc.
What a disgusting post OP. It boggles my mind that you are health professional yet have absolutely zero empathy for the huge amount of suffering being inflicted by this pandemic. But it's all good for you, so that's what matters.

As an introvert with social anxiety I have loved the lack of social pressure. It’s like a weight lifted, and I am not looking forward to things going back.

However I appreciate I am in the minority and for others this time has been utterly utterly dreadful.

I can't think of a worse year really, mostly because I've lost a very close family member. But I will cling to the silver linings. The big one was spending so much extra time with my children.

It’s been fine for many people I know - people with secure jobs and high incomes, comfortable houses, partners to offer moral support.

But really shit for everyone else.

Covid is like throwing a huge rock in a pond. The rock has only just left the catapult.
A huge MH crisis looming, poverty, abuse ,unemployment.

Think of a very simple thing....dental care. The back log must be immense, it will take time to solve.

How smug people are, they have no idea.

@DontCryForMeNextdoorNeighbour, spot on.

It's not been all bad for our family, we've had lovely family time, we've saved cash, we've holidayed in the UK and loved it, working from home we've been able to do school drop offs and pick ups ourselves. I don't think anyone in our extended family has even had it, let alone been hospitalised, a couple of friends have had business problems, but seem to be through the worst. However, that all pails into insignificance against all the deaths and misery, the ruined lives, businesses and an economy we will all pay for. Do I wish it had never happened? Absolutely. Has there been a bit of good? Yes, that too.

We're yet to see the full consequences of the unemployment and raised taxes. And of the lost career and educational opportunities for people aged 16-25.

I'm so glad you had a lovely pandemic op.

It has only taken you hundreds of thousands of deaths for you to be grateful for your family and friends. Small price to pay for you to have the warm and fuzzies really.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, most of us were already grateful for our loved ones and are now struggling in every possible way.

Good for you OP

The rest of us want our lives back.

I haven't read the full thread but I think it's been a mixed bag for people.

I know several people who previously had very long commutes to work. The switch to working from home has improved their quality of life considerably. They're less tired and stressed. They've more time to spend with their family. They're saving money on things like petrol, car maintenance, buying lunches/coffees, buying work clothes, contributing to collections at work etc. They're keeping everything crossed that they can continue to work from home in the future.

Obviously it's been a horrendous time for anyone who has lost a loved one due to Covid.

I don't imagine it's been much fun for staff in the medical profession - having to work long hours in full protective clothing - not to mention the fear of catching Covid and passing it on to a vulnerable family member.

Other people have had difficulties trying to combine working from home with childcare.

Some people with mental health issues have suffered greatly due to the restrictions.

Some people are facing financial difficulty due to the loss of their jobs or even their businesses.

People die of wars and famine and disease every year. I wonder if you were all so concerned with equity, this “no happiness without everyone else’s happiness” before it hit your own doorstep.

YANBU OP. 2020 has been awful for some people and a breath of fresh air for others. Much like every other year.

I’ve found it pretty good. I don’t go out and do much anyway, so all I’m missing out on is seeing my family every few months. Both myself and DP have been working from home since March. No kids. It’s been great and it’s going to change the working style and encourage more working from home which is also great! It’s unfortunate that it came along with a pandemic, but it’s been a good year for me personally.

It’s unfortunate that it came along with a pandemic

What a gift for understatement you have

YABU because whilst what you’ve written is a true reflection of your own position, it’s ignoring the bigger picture and is so me, me, me. Like living in a famine zone but being ok with your own secret supplies. Just have a bit of compassion for those who have lost loved ones, lost their jobs etc. It may come and bite you one day.

Ive had 4 people die so far.

My mum is having her second facial cancer treatments, alone.

Its all been absolutely glorious!!! /s

Glad youre ok tho op!

People have suffered but there is no point being blind to the fact that not all have. Have we completely lost the ability for nuanced thinking? Some people have found silver linings. Being lucky this time doesn't make a person unsympathetic to people who have been less fortunate. Discussing those silver linings is a part of the debate that is important to how we move forward as a society.

EvilPea

Can I pick up on this? I don't want to have a pop at you because I understand that social interaction is difficult for introverts.

But I saw a lot of this militant introvert rhetoric during lockdown and some of this I thought was misleading and at times a bit poisonous.

"As an introvert with social anxiety I have loved the lack of social pressure. It’s like a weight lifted, and I am not looking forward to things going back."

There's a false equivalence between "not having to do social pressure" and "not being allowed to see your loved ones".

I'm not an introvert so granted I may not be able to put myself in your shoes totally. But I saw this sort of thing trotted out all the time during lockdown and I don't really buy it. I really struggle to believe that the awkwardness of having to do drinks etc when you don't want to (which seems to be the introvert bugbear) is equivalent in terms of trauma to not being able to see your parents, your partner etc for months on end. Which was the impact lockdown had on people who are more socially gregarious. It's just not the same thing.

I don't want to minimise some of the challenges of introverts but there was something about this whole line of argument which to me felt like the revenge of the unpopular kids against the popular ones. Sort of understandable. But not terribly healthy and not something to shout from the rooftops.

Your fear of dinner parties/drinks/any kind of social interaction is something I sympathise with to a degree. But its something you occasionally have to crack on with. Being told you are not going to be allowed to see loved ones for three months is in no way comparable to having to do a bit of forced chatting at parties.

“ There's a false equivalence between "not having to do social pressure" and "not being allowed to see your loved ones". ”

So much this.

I have also enjoyed the relief from the constant pressure of social interaction. If you don’t know what that feels like then don’t try to compare it to something you do know about.

There's a false equivalence between "not having to do social pressure" and "not being allowed to see your loved ones.
I"m not sure anyone is trying to draw an equivalence, just saying that they've quite enjoyed the lack of social pressure. It's quite clear to me that socialising in the sense in which people here are discussing social pressure, and seeing (or not seeing) family, are being considered as different things.

@SurreyHillsGirl

You are strikingly lacking in the tact department, OP! What on earth was your thought process when you decided to post such an insensitive, smug post?

DH and I have been fortunate enough to weather the storm of the pandemic far better than most, but I couldn't imagine posting a thread about it. Don't you read the news? Listen to the radio? I suggest ensuring your fingers are connected to your brain next time you have the urge to post.

Jeez. Why such a bombardment?

OP is just trying to see the best in a situation. Of course she has seen the news - everyone has - and no one is saying this has been a good or easy time. She is just drawing attention to some things that she appreciates and saying that for her, it wasn't all bad. That's valid. Everyone's experience is valid.

I know which one of the two of you I'd rather be trapped in an elevator with anyway!