Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I tell DP he's bought me the wrong one?

125 replies

ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 09:28

DP and I went Christmas shopping on Saturday. I was hoping for a bracelet for Christmas, and we went to a jewellers and looked together. I picked out two that I really liked, then left DP to it, to make the final decision.

I had quick peep yesterday, and he’s bought the wrong one ……. The item he purchased similar-ish to the two I liked, and ironically quite a bit more expensive, but it’s not something I would really wear? So on Christmas morning do I feign delight, or do I ask him if he’s kept the receipt??? It’s an incredibly generous gift, but not quite what I wanted! DP is lovely and the last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings.

OP posts:
Chamomileteaplease · 07/12/2020 09:31

Yes tell him. Gently!

What's the point of receiving the wrong gift on Christmas morning? If you tell him now, then you will both be happy on the 25th rather than both miserable about it. Especially when it is in your power to sort it out now.

Bite the bullet.Smile

Redlocks28 · 07/12/2020 09:31

I would get the one I wanted up on the computer to show him and say, ‘you know I couldn’t decide between these two bracelets..., I’ve been thinking and I’ve definitely decided that I want this one. It was the that swung it for me. It’s just so lovely.

Original poster
ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 09:35

The jeweller in question has a "returns window" up to 31 January

OP posts:
FelicityPike · 07/12/2020 09:41

@Redlocks28

I would get the one I wanted up on the computer to show him and say, ‘you know I couldn’t decide between these two bracelets..., I’ve been thinking and I’ve definitely decided that I want this one. It was the that swung it for me. It’s just so lovely.
That’s a really good idea.
Derelictwreck · 07/12/2020 09:46

So he's bought a mystery third one, not either of the two you were looking at?

Presumably if it's not the two you were looking at and its more expensive, then he did it deliberately? Or are they really similar and so you think he got confused?

If you just think he got confused and can't tell them apart, can you somehow swap it before Christmas so he gives you the right one!

Bluesheep8 · 07/12/2020 09:53

Hold on a second, you showed him 2 that you really liked, asked him to pick one of the 2 and he bought a completely different one? Confused

TokyoSushi · 07/12/2020 09:55

This has happened to me before with DH but I'm afraid that I just said thank you, wore the thing for a while and then it slowly slipped away! I'm a wuss!

BlankTimes · 07/12/2020 09:58

Great suggestion by @Redlocks28

So much better to do it now in a gentle way, rather than on Xmas Day when you open it.

Original poster
ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 09:58

I'm not sure if he got confused or not - but he's spent a small fortune, which is so sweet of him, but given the amount he's spent I would rather it was the correct item! I don't know whether to confess now that I've had a quick peep at his shopping?

OP posts:
Puddingypops · 07/12/2020 10:00

Peeper!! Hahahaha Smile

Whyistheteacold · 07/12/2020 10:00

I don't think YABU to gently tell him, personally I wouldn't be able to bring myself to say anything as I wouldn't want to upset him 🥺 I still have a hideous brown beaded bag that my DS bought me over ten years ago, I've never had the heart to get rid of the hideous thing 😂

MrsExpo · 07/12/2020 10:00

He's bought you a gift that was actually more expensive than the one you chose, so he's done that deliberately to show you some sort of affection, not to piss you off OP.

I think you're being ungrateful and unfair. Just accept the gift, feign delight and wear it a few times.

dairyswim · 07/12/2020 10:04

I don't see why you can't tell him you "peeked" - it's not like his present was going to be a complete surprise as you gave him options.

I am somebody that sends dh a link to the product I want for Christmas; it saves scenarios like this.

Original poster
ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 10:04

MrsExpo whether it was genuine confusion, or he's spent more as a nice gesture - it will be such a shame/waste to have an incredibly expensive item just sitting in my jewellry box.

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 07/12/2020 10:06

My dh got me an platinum eternity ring... I have a gold wedding and engagement ring. I told him it was lovely but not what I wanted... we he swapped it (and got a refund for difference) . There’s no point in having an ‘expensive’ unworn gift. Definitely tell him

Original poster
ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 10:10

Lollypop how did your DH take it?

OP posts:
SlopesOff · 07/12/2020 10:10

I chose my gift once, after many years of being given things I would never use.

The day arrived and I opened it. It was not what I had chosen and it was returned immediately. I had specifically asked for it because it was unusual and I loved it. What I was given could have been bought anywhere at any time. Sure enough when it was returned to the store the one I wanted was out of stock. Never saw another one and I still look,12 years on.

I have now given up on gifts unless I can watch it being bought because I see no point in wasting money on things that will never be used.

Whatever you do, please don't give in and keep something you don't like, it will always bother you.

crosspelican · 07/12/2020 10:11

It sounds like he felt you were being needlessly modest in the things you pointed out, and he wanted to give you an upgrade. If it's similar to the one you picked out, how can it be something you wouldn't normally wear?

Because I know that I can be a bit rigid about things like this, and have to make a conscious effort to unclench when things don't go the way I expected, can I ask if maybe you're just being too uptight? It's a gift. It's definitely rude if you say "Oh I hate it. Can I return it on Monday?" - there's no two ways about that. So do you hate it so much that you are happy to hurt his feelings, or is it actually completely unusable?

crosspelican · 07/12/2020 10:13

Lollypop701 I think that's slightly different though - that's more akin to him buying you the wrong size in something. It's like he wanted to get you an eternity ring but literally forgot/didn't think about what colour your wedding ring was.

ScrapThatThen · 07/12/2020 10:15

I bet he pointed at the one you wanted and the jeweller picked up the wrong one and he didn't want to look cheap 😁.
'Hey, awkward, but I think we might have had a miscommunication about my present, I see you have bought a different one - it's more expensive and while I would usually bite your hand off, I don't actually like it as much. Do you mind if we return it?'

KiposWonderbeasts · 07/12/2020 10:16

@Redlocks28 advice is great.

I’d definitely tell him and probably be blunter: “I’ve been going over the bracelets and I really definitely want this one. If that’s not the one you picked, could you send it back and swap it? I want it to be something I’ll wear every day and think of you, rather than something I only wear occasionally.”

Bluesheep8 · 07/12/2020 10:18

whether it was genuine confusion, or he's spent more as a nice gesture - it will be such a shame/waste to have an incredibly expensive item just sitting in my jewellry box.

This. You don't have to admit you peeked, just open it on Christmas day and remind him that you looked at 2 bracelets and this isn't one of the two.
I'm still at a loss as to why he became confused though.

HasaDigaEebowai · 07/12/2020 10:19

You could always swap it and he'll probably never notice..

SarahAndQuack · 07/12/2020 10:21

I'd just be honest TBH. It's not as if you peeked at a surprise present - you'd already gone to the shop with him.

You obviously feel touched that he tried to treat you; he obviously wanted to do something lovely. It's not a big deal. But lying about it is odd IMO.

CorianderBlues · 07/12/2020 10:21

What a scumbag. He's bought you the wrong one deliberately.

He's giving the "correct" one to the woman he's having an affair with.

You should leave him. Immediately.

(Standard MN response)

Swipe left for the next trending thread