Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I tell DP he's bought me the wrong one?

125 replies

ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 09:28

DP and I went Christmas shopping on Saturday. I was hoping for a bracelet for Christmas, and we went to a jewellers and looked together. I picked out two that I really liked, then left DP to it, to make the final decision.

I had quick peep yesterday, and he’s bought the wrong one ……. The item he purchased similar-ish to the two I liked, and ironically quite a bit more expensive, but it’s not something I would really wear? So on Christmas morning do I feign delight, or do I ask him if he’s kept the receipt??? It’s an incredibly generous gift, but not quite what I wanted! DP is lovely and the last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings.

OP posts:
janaus50s · 07/12/2020 12:04

Take a photo of the 2 bracelets that you liked. Show him photo as a gentle reminder. Hopefully he realises and can change it.

caperplips · 07/12/2020 12:05

Personally I wouldn't tell him that I had opened his gift already to check up on him.
I also don't get the telling / showing each other exactly what to buy. I might, if pushed, say I would like a bracelet from such and such a jeweller / designer and then leave it to dh to select as he would have an excellent idea of what I like. But I get that this is not always the case.

I would probably also be very happy with an 'upgrade' (mercenary!)

Can you tell us more about how different they actually are? As in you specified silver but he bought you rose gold etc?

Like other people have said, given that you have until 31 Jan to exchange it I would open it on Christmas day and try it on and see how you feel then and if you still don't like it you can find a way to tell him that the other one would go better with your existing jewellery or whatever but it won't sting as much once its after Christmas.

Onadifferentuniverse · 07/12/2020 12:18

I think the price difference is quite relevant here and would reflect how I act. (Since it being significantly more wouldn’t be a mistake?)

wildraisins · 07/12/2020 12:20

Why are you peeking at what he's bought you? :/

Elieza · 07/12/2020 12:34

I’d swap it for sure. Up to you how you do it. You know him best.

Your options, apart from the obvious ones like tell him you found it, are -

  1. steal the receipt (which could be in the bag just now) and hide it somewhere it will never be found, like in the tampon box in your drawer or something. Say nothing. Open present on Christmas Day. Feign delight. Wait til shops open and swap it. If he says anything tell him the catch broke and you returned it yourself. They didn’t have the same one in stock as it sold out, so you swapped for another one and got a pair of stud earrings as well as it was cheaper than the original. Thanks babe love you so much. Job done.
  1. Tell him you bumped into (name someone he won’t ever meet, like Julie in work that i sit beside, or Claire in the mums group from nursery that you see a lot). Her husband took her Christmas shopping and bought this (show pic) bangle.
I know how generous you are babe, and I’m just mentioning as you might have bought me the same one and I don’t want Julie to think I’m copying her so if you may have got me that one can I get this one instead please (show pic). Sorry, you know I’m so grateful you care so much and I know how much you want me to be happy.
Bluesheep8 · 07/12/2020 12:34

Take a photo of the 2 bracelets that you liked. Show him photo as a gentle reminder. Hopefully he realises and can change it.

She's already shown him. He went ahead and bought something else entirely. Surely once should be enough?

Bluesheep8 · 07/12/2020 12:36

*Your options, apart from the obvious ones like tell him you found it, are -

  1. steal the receipt (which could be in the bag just now) and hide it somewhere it will never be found, like in the tampon box in your drawer or something. Say nothing. Open present on Christmas Day. Feign delight. Wait til shops open and swap it. If he says anything tell him the catch broke and you returned it yourself. They didn’t have the same one in stock as it sold out, so you swapped for another one and got a pair of stud earrings as well as it was cheaper than the original. Thanks babe love you so much. Job done.
  1. Tell him you bumped into (name someone he won’t ever meet, like Julie in work that i sit beside, or Claire in the mums group from nursery that you see a lot). Her husband took her Christmas shopping and bought this (show pic) bangle.
I know how generous you are babe, and I’m just mentioning as you might have bought me the same one and I don’t want Julie to think I’m copying her so if you may have got me that one can I get this one instead please (show pic). Sorry, you know I’m so grateful you care so much and I know how much you want me to be happy.*

Crikey that sounds exhausting!

GarlicSoup · 07/12/2020 12:39

Are you sure he didn’t choose a more expensive one thinking it would be a lovely gesture OP?

cardswapping · 07/12/2020 12:40

What a lovely problem to have. Smile

I second PPs suggesting honesty. Since you were together looking, it is not a total surprise and he is trying to make you happy.

Good luck!

TheCrowsHaveEyes · 07/12/2020 12:41

@LindaEllen nope - not the only one. Every single year, we have the exact Love Actually scenario on MN ie wife looks at gift of bracelet before Christmas Day and then everyone wonders if she will receive it or not Wink

MullinerSpec · 07/12/2020 12:43

Oh dear, so your husband bought the expensive one because no doubt he thought you were worth it. But you don't like it because it doesn't look good. Its not what it looks like that he's done it for but to show you how much he loves you. accept the gift, and the fact that the he loves you, there are so many women out there who wished they had someone to reciprocate the affection, count yourself fortunate.

DameCelia · 07/12/2020 12:47

But @MullinerSpec she's not going to wear it! Why isn't @ThursdayAlready2 allowed to have jewellery to wear?

evilharpy · 07/12/2020 12:48

@MullinerSpec

Oh dear, so your husband bought the expensive one because no doubt he thought you were worth it. But you don't like it because it doesn't look good. Its not what it looks like that he's done it for but to show you how much he loves you. accept the gift, and the fact that the he loves you, there are so many women out there who wished they had someone to reciprocate the affection, count yourself fortunate.
But then what was the point of them going shopping together to choose something?
An0n0n0n · 07/12/2020 12:50

I would hint like buggery how much you liked those two, and probably say that if you had to choose between them you would pick X because it's so insert reason e.g.dainty and you can't stand big chunky jewellery/emeralds/whatever (pick something obvious about the one he's chosen so he knows it's wrong) and hopefully he will correct his choice before Xmas day.

AlternativePerspective · 07/12/2020 12:51

I don’t quite understand why, if it is similar to the one you liked, it’s not good enough?

Either way I wouldn’t be playing games over it, just wait until Christmas morning, open it, and then say “oh, you got me a different one altogether then?” That way you will know whether he wanted to buy you something nicer or whether he genuinely got it wrong.

Looking at his shopping and then wanting to tell him so you can get the one you want isn’t on TBH.And if it’s that similar I don’t see the big deal.

AlternativePerspective · 07/12/2020 12:54

But then what was the point of them going shopping together to choose something? OP said it was similar to the one he chose.

presumably given it was so much more expensive she wouldn’t have picked out that one because of the price. But because the style was similar he thought he’d buy that one instead...it was similar after all so he knew what she wanted...

WeAllHaveWings · 07/12/2020 12:57

dh bought me a surprise watch for a significant birthday a couple of years ago, I recognised the brand and googled the price in the shop he bought it in and it was £1200 😱 (might not be a lot for some, but is a lot for us!!)

He let ds(16) help to choose it which made it even harder to say it wasn't something I would ever wear!

Honestly is the best policy, I just said I really really appreciated it, but I know that brand is a huge amount of money, and it was just too much and could he return it. He was fine with it (and probably quite pleased his credit card felt much lighter!!!). Never actually fessed up to ds who is still oblivious.

Brefugee · 07/12/2020 12:57

be honest and exchange it after Christmas.

It used to drive me bonkers when my DH did things like this. We finally got to the "here is my list, don't buy everything on it but don't buy anything off it".

Last year i asked for a specific thing for my birthday. (early December) because it has a christmas theme, so having it at Christmas would mean i didn't get use out of it until now. He bought me some other things (that i really love) and gave me them instead on my birthday and gave me the thing i really wanted at Christmas. I didn't get to build it until boxing day and then the penny dropped.

this year he gave me something (that i really love) and said "you'll get more use out of this if you get it now rather than Christmas.

You have to be explicit sometimes.

Mariebarrone · 07/12/2020 12:59

Someone upthread said he’d been up sold. I 100% believe that’s what’s happened. Jewellers spots indecision. Look sir, these are £100, but look what you can have for £200!! And poor dp probably feels if he still picks the cheaper item the jeweller will have him down as a miserly cheapskate.

Brefugee · 07/12/2020 13:04

I think you're being ungrateful and unfair. Just accept the gift, feign delight and wear it a few times.

I don't get this especially when you've been out to look at the things you want. It's shit to get something nearly but not quite what you want. It's like someone giving you a record by the Beatles when you've been raving about the Stones. Sure you like music but you wanted something specific

especially "wear it a few times"? nope. It's jewellery. You get the jewellery you want, or you're wasting money.

genie10 · 07/12/2020 13:08

You shouldn't have peeked but now that you have and you know there would be plenty of time to exchange after Christmas, I think you should wait till Christmas, thank him but tell him gently that you really preferred the other one and would he mind if you exchanged it.

My DH used to say he loved things I gave him, then never use/ wear them. Later he would say he didn't really like them in the first place. It drove me mad. I'd rather someone be honest.

CharlotteRose90 · 07/12/2020 13:12

I’m in the tell him camp. If it was me I’d want to know. Jewellery is very special to me and if someone bought me something I would never wear I would tell them. Nothing ungrateful about it. Yes it’s a present but it’s for you not them and you should get one of the ones you picked :)

Ruddyfedup · 07/12/2020 13:13

One year i sent dh about 6 or 7 screen shots of VERY similar bags. All from the same shop. He went rouge😅 he bought a designer, expensive, tiny bag that looked like the tacky fake type designer bag you get from abroad. I saw a screenshot of it on the ipad that was linked to his phone. I asked if i could exchange it. He was a bit gutted as i know hed tried to get me something expensive and nice as id never spend money on myself but it was honestly awful.

midnightstar66 · 07/12/2020 13:16

Take it back and swap it now - bet he'll never even notice in 2 weeks time! 😆

Original poster
ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 13:21

Thank you so much for all the responses - I think I will tell him gently on Christmas day. I will try it on first though, just in case it looks better on my wrist than it did in the jewellers window!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread