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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I tell DP he's bought me the wrong one?

125 replies

ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 09:28

DP and I went Christmas shopping on Saturday. I was hoping for a bracelet for Christmas, and we went to a jewellers and looked together. I picked out two that I really liked, then left DP to it, to make the final decision.

I had quick peep yesterday, and he’s bought the wrong one ……. The item he purchased similar-ish to the two I liked, and ironically quite a bit more expensive, but it’s not something I would really wear? So on Christmas morning do I feign delight, or do I ask him if he’s kept the receipt??? It’s an incredibly generous gift, but not quite what I wanted! DP is lovely and the last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings.

OP posts:
Redlocks28 · 07/12/2020 13:24

He went rouge😅

Sorry, I have images of your DH in my head now, with loads of blusher on, holding a handbag Grin

Oreservoir · 07/12/2020 13:26

I know someone who went with her dp to choose her engagement ring. It was sent to be resized.
Her fiancé brought it round all excited to give it to her and it was the wrong one. She didn’t have the heart to tell him and years later hates her engagement ring.
I just can’t understand anyone not being honest in that situation.

rottiemum88 · 07/12/2020 13:28

@HasaDigaEebowai

You could always swap it and he'll probably never notice..
Hahaha, this made me smile because it's probably what I'd do with DH and I can categorically say he'd never notice.

Bit of a difficult moral situation in your case though as the one he bought cost more so you'd then have the extra money to spend so I'd probably just own up and tell him you saw and you don't like it 🤷🏼‍♀️

midnightstar66 · 07/12/2020 13:36

Bit of a difficult moral situation in your case though as the one he bought cost more so you'd then have the extra money to spend so I'd probably just own up and tell him you saw and you don't like it 🤷🏼‍♀️

I suppose it depends if they have joint finances, I was a seeing on the assumption they did 😆I'd definitely want it resolved before Xmas day though so any disappointment isn't felt on the actual day and the bracelet can be opened and worn.

LindaEllen · 07/12/2020 13:42

[quote TheCrowsHaveEyes]@LindaEllen nope - not the only one. Every single year, we have the exact Love Actually scenario on MN ie wife looks at gift of bracelet before Christmas Day and then everyone wonders if she will receive it or not Wink[/quote]
This is the first Christmas I've been here so I guess I'll see those soon! Must be so horrible for the women though. I never go snooping just in case!

BreatheAndFocus · 07/12/2020 13:48

Perhaps he asked you to pick out ones you like to get an idea of the kind of thing you preferred, then chose what he thought was ‘your kind of bracelet’ but more expensive?

I’d be anxious about upsetting him if that was the case because it would mean he’d thought about it (albeit got it a bit wrong).

Hill1991 · 07/12/2020 13:59

Honesty is the best policy especially if you really don't like it and won't wear it

Dinnafashyersel · 07/12/2020 14:01

And this is why when DH takes me present shopping he has to buy it in front of me and then he goes home and wraps and hides it away...

Don't really understand giving a choice of 2 options for a "surprise"? To me it means you know what you're getting but will always slightly disappointed about not getting the other option.

I wouldn't have to tell DH if I was disappointed. He can read my expression and no amount of saying it was lovely and wearing it to please him would change that. Therefore I suggest you come clean and sort it out before Christmas.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 07/12/2020 14:02

I would be quite possed off if my dp did this. What's the point in asking what ones you like if he's going to buy a different one?

I'm afraid I'm quite blunt and honest with my dp, but he's not easily offended, so I would definitely tell him it's the wrong one and I don't like it.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 07/12/2020 14:04

@Dinnafashyersel

And this is why when DH takes me present shopping he has to buy it in front of me and then he goes home and wraps and hides it away...

Don't really understand giving a choice of 2 options for a "surprise"? To me it means you know what you're getting but will always slightly disappointed about not getting the other option.

I wouldn't have to tell DH if I was disappointed. He can read my expression and no amount of saying it was lovely and wearing it to please him would change that. Therefore I suggest you come clean and sort it out before Christmas.

Yup same here. I always say exactly what I want because my face (and my mouth) aren't good at hiding disappointment.

Don't really get the point of leaving him to chose between 2 either, but the fact he picked a third is a bit strange.

Original poster
ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 14:05

There's every likelihood he will present it on Christmas Day with the caveat "but you can change it if you want to" but of course I can't be sure about that!

I can't do anything about this before Christmas, because it would mean heading off to the shops with his debit card, which he'd miss if I took it, and I'm also not 100% sure of his PIN number.

OP posts:
TheDaydreamBelievers · 07/12/2020 14:05

I can see how he made the error- I bought the wrong wedding ring.

Went to see them all, picked out two I liked best, went home to think with photos etc.

Went back to buy the one I preferred but forgot the bit of paper with the names/codes. Bought it thinking, "ooh its dropped in price a tiny bit".

Months later I was looking at it thinking, "I thought the stones were more square..?". Looked and found the bit of paper - turns out I never chose one of the two, I chose a 3rd ring!

LaurieFairyCake · 07/12/2020 14:10

If it's in the same STYLE and just better materials like white gold instead of silver, diamonds instead of CZ can you PLEASE wear it

The secret to expensive jewellery is to wear it all the time - don't keep it for 'best' - there's very few best occasions

Original poster
ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 14:19

The secret to expensive jewellery is to wear it all the time - but I won't want to wear this bracelet any of the time ......

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 07/12/2020 14:24

Then definitely tell him if you don't actually like it Grin

I thought you liked it but thought it was too expensive to wear

Original poster
ThursdayAlready2 · 07/12/2020 14:28

I thought you liked it but thought it was too expensive to wear

Nope - I'm just frustrated he didn't buy either option 1 or option 2!

OP posts:
caperplips · 07/12/2020 14:29

OP I don't know about anyone else but now I'm really curious about these bracelets. Can you tell us a bit more?
I thought from your first post that you showed him 2 and he bought a third, similar, but more expensive?
It's sort of hard to imagine how this could be SO wrong that you would never ever wear it.

But if you asked for a solid bangle and he got you a charm bracelet etc then I can see how it's more of an issue.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 07/12/2020 14:38

I'd be gutted...i wear quite simple silver jewellery and have had gifts in the past of huge earrings or massive charm pendants from friends....a huge waste of money as ive never worn them....jewellery should never be given as a gift unless you know the recipient will love....its far too personal.

MimiDaisy11 · 07/12/2020 14:42

I would assume he made a mistake. It's just odd if he asked you to pick out two and choose a completely different one. Hope it works out well! I'd assume he'd be fine with changing it.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 07/12/2020 14:49

Another one thinking he was probably upsold.

I think the advise on page one about pulling the pictures of the 2 you chose and saying youve thought about it and are so much more likely to wear X "can I please have it?"

caperplips · 07/12/2020 14:51

@MimiDaisy11 I think it's too hard to know anything like this without knowing the differences between the bracelet the OP picked and what the dh actually bought. If all 3 are chain link type bracelets it's easier to see how he might have made a mistake or 'upgraded' but if she wanted a chain and he bought a bangle etc it's harder to see how that was a mistake..

Comefromaway · 07/12/2020 14:59

My guess is that she chose something pretty but small and he bought one in the same style but bigger or chunkier.

tttigress · 07/12/2020 15:04

Try to let him down gently, maybe you could do something together with the remaining money.

FrankskinnerscRoc · 07/12/2020 15:14

What’s the point of choosing 2 if you were going to have a quick peep 🙄

damnthatanxiety · 07/12/2020 15:33

Out of interest, how is it different and why wouldn't you wear it?