I think you need to seriously think long and hard about where you are being too controlling and getting unnecessarily involved - his haircuts, medical appointments, family gifts etc - vs where he is letting you down - direct debits etc.
You sound like someone who thinks ahead and plans and wants things to be perfect. I sympathise, as this is a lot like me. But I've had to learn where it's okay to expect this from Dh and where it's just my preference. Because otherwise you will find yourself in a situation where your perfectly legitimate issues, will be chalked up to your "nagging" or "controlling" behaviour.
On the credit card - just ask him to put a DD on. I am terrible at this kind of thing and DH "nagged" me until I did so. I am so relieved he did.
Also, you both need to get out of this idea that one job is more important than the other. Because that is setting yo up for massive issues when you have DC - he won't be stepping up at all because his job is so "important" he can't be tired/distracted/whatever.
Finally, as the person who does 95% of the cooking in our house, his theory that his cooking is enough is complete and utter bollocks. I also do all the shopping (food and non-food such as kids stuff etc), the vast bulk of the planning and thinking for the kids' activities. I'm responsible for the deep kitchen cleaning, do about 75% of cleaning up after meals, and do my share of the other cleaning (although DH does more actual cleaning eg bathrooms, vacuuming etc because he's at home more). We share pet care responsibility pretty much 50/50.
With Christmas looming, I've done the bulk of the thinking re Christmas presents for both families, but DH will take on the big push in the shops for last minute things in the week ahead and we'll split things like wrapping and decorations etc.
So really, cooking is nowhere near enough of the household tasks.