Are you ‘lucky’ If you’ve done well for yourself?

[MissMessy12]

If you have a nice home, financially comfortable, happy family life does it annoy you when people comment on how ‘lucky’ you are?
To me luck is about chance, winning the lottery for example or being in the right place at the right time.
Everything I have, I’ve worked hard for, in my opinion has nothing to do with luck.

Sometimes it’s as simple as who you meet along the way. One of my friends was born with a lot of “luck”- wealthy family, good brain and she’s v. successful professionally- but she married her ex-husband. He’s ruined so much in her life- one “bad” decision has caused so much grief and financial problems.☹️

If she’d married someone else, things might be completely different.

Yes and no. I appreciate I was lucky to have parents who encouraged me to love books and learning, as a result of which I did well at school and university and have a professional career. The flip side to that is that they died in my early 20s.

Again yes as a result of their death I was lucky to have inherited a modest amount of money which paid off my student debt and was a deposit for a house. But then the cost of that luck was I've had to go most of my adult life with no parents.

I have a nice house now. But I've worked ft even when my DC were babies, I barely saw them when they were younger. I also was stuck in an abusive relationship for a number of years. So again, good and bad.

Some people do have more advantages than others of course, but there are many who don't use any of the opportunities they have. I know a few people like that, they've spent 20 years treading water at work and personally but instead of trying to improve things are just full of bitterness at other people who they perceive as having it easier than them.

I had a friend once who had it all - looks, personality. Bright as a button. Met and married her perfect man in her early 20s who was also v well off so she didn't need to work, stayed home and looked after their DC and animals. You could say she was lucky, I certainly used to think so. Except tragically she died at 40

Well I, if i do say so myself, have a great work ethic. My husband does too.

I have never took a lot of time off, i have been extremely loyal and made friends with my employers, not to suck up, but because we have things in common.

I don't think its luck I've ended up where i am. I think its through hard work and graft.

My husband too.

Of course I am lucky. To be born into the family I have, to have been raised the way I had, to be presented with the opportunities I had, I am lucky and grateful. Why would I ever be offended or try to deny that?
Luck plays such a big part of wealth building. For example my distant family decided to go into vitamins in the 90s and that’s paid off tremendously. Friend who decided to invest in properties in Spain lost most of his wealth during the crash. All down to luck.
I am lucky that I am in a position where hard work will be turned into wealth. I am aware some people are just so unlucky that a string of events will drop them in a rut and they just can’t get out, try as they may.
I hope there is a common denominator for success that isn’t random luck, but I just can’t yet narrow it down yet. Once I do I will be writing a book and sell it to all the unlucky people

I have worked hard too for everything I have, but I also think there is an element of luck. I have been able to make the most of many opportunities, but I was lucky some of them came up. I was lucky I was born in a country where my hard work can pay off, I was lucky I was able to have access to good education, etc. My good life would not have happened if I had not worked hard for it, for sure, but it is possible to still work hard and end up with nothing. I think it is mostly hard work, but also a bit of luck luck and circumstances.

Ha. There is still definitely luck involved. Plenty of people work hard and shit happens to completely detail any chance of a wealthy life where everything falls into place. Hell, just where you were born, the color of your skin, your gender, etc are "luck" that attributes to success... Or failure.

I think whilst working hard is obviously the major factor, there is luck involved if there were no accidents causing long term disability, illness, etc.

It’s a mixture of so much. Hard work, luck, the hand of fate. Sometimes a good upbringing. Meeting the right people, being in the right place at the right time.

But it’s definitely easier if the basics in your childhood and upbringing are there and then you build on them. But it isn’t equal and I do agree that some have a much easier life, even with all the hard work involved, than others.
I can look at my peers and categorically say some are luckier than others without a shadow of a doubt and I feel the same.

My brother has done really well for himself........mainly because of the free uni education, grants available and abundance of bar work that was available in the early 90s meaning he left uni pretty much debt free.

He knows he's lucky compared to kids battling to make it today. And I agree with him. 💁🏻‍♀️

Oh and he met and befriended the guy who gave him his first, fresh from Uni job in the bar he worked at. He just so happened to own an engineering firm. My bro didn't know that before he let him kip on his soda one night when he lost his wallet and was too drunk to speak let alone get himself home.

It was just luck. Many others on his course struggled massively to find work and some to this day have never used their degree.,.....they ended up going on to do something else. They weren't as lucky.

If you have a nice home, financially comfortable, happy family life does it annoy you when people comment on how ‘lucky’ you are?

Annoy me?!

No, I take it as a massive compliment! I am lucky to have all those things - blessed beyond words.

Lucky to have loving parents. A happy childhood of my own. To have gone to university. To have met DH who’s a good man, husband and father. To live in a safe country.

These are all things that many people don’t have, and I don’t take them for granted.

I cannot imagine being so churlish when someone tells me I’m ‘lucky to have a nice life’. How absolutely bizarre.

However, this is one of those threads, isn’t it?

A miserable, bitter type, with very blinkered views, who only wants to hear from people who agree with her.

Crack on.

Hard work, grit & determination! My parents went from literal poverty to becoming millionaires through hard work when everything was against them. Being Irish catholics they suffered sectarian discrimination & set backs all the time. I don’t know anyone who works as hard as they do.

My dad is over 70, works 7 days a week, 16 hour days most of the time. Physical labour. But he’s happiest at work. My mum is the exact same. To say luck had anything to do with it diminishes their hard work.

People who haven't been in your position rarely know what efforts it took to achieve your goals . On the whole I take 'your so lucky ' as just an expression please say. I don't read too much into it.

Nb. If you are ever in a position where you can help someone achieve their goals, it's a good feeling to do so. Spreads the 'luck' some might say !!

I'm a comfortably off single mum with a beautiful son.
Free school meals kid, I've had a job since I was 13, work my arse off, save rather than spend and have renovated each scruffy house while working full time and being a mum so I had as small a mortgage as possible.
BUT I have been massively lucky in that I got a place at a grammar school, had brilliant teachers who helped me get to Uni, I caught the front edge of the IT industry wave, and have always been in good employment. Both I and my ds are healthy.

Luck plays a big part in life. I know I landed on my feet, I just made the best of it.

It is luck! Many people work hard but don’t earn very much or not successfully How can you say you’ve worked hard for a family life? We cannot choose how our relationships are with family. Some people deserve so much more. But things don’t always happen. No everyone can have children, find a partner etc. It’s luck no because you’ve ‘worked hard’

Yes of course there is always an element of good fortune. Also define "hard work". I did some exams, I waited tables, I worked some long hours in a warm, comfortable office occasionally. I wasn't down a mine or in a mill for 16 hours a day.

I came from a working class background and was the first person in the family to go to university and get a job in one of the "professions". Yet still I had several very good cards in my hand.

-Born in UK, English my first language
-Born in 1970s (this meant I got free university education and a (small) grant, plus the benefit of studying abroad while we were still in the EU)
-Born to a loving, stable family
-Only child
-Intelligent

A lot of it is luck. I have worked really, really hard to get where I am, and as a consequence I am far better of than many peers who had similar lives to me.

And I am also very lucky to have been born without, and to not have acquired, a disability; to have had parents who pushed education; to have been born in a rich country; to have been pretty (when I was younger); to be white skinned; to have a middle class accent and a 'face' that is acceptable in my profession; to have met and married someone with similar education and aspirations; to have been clever; and to have been physically and mentally capable of working intensely for long hours over years. All of those things are luck and nothing more.

better off ffs, clearly my education didn't improve my proofreading ability...

As a pp said, it is a well known psychological concept about ascribing luck, called the "self serving bias":

"It is the belief that individuals tend to ascribe success to their own abilities and efforts, but ascribe failure to external factors."

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-serving_bias

I always think of the comedian Jack Whitehall, when it comes to this. When asked if he thought that the fact that his father was one of the top showbiz agents in the UK had helped his career, he got shirty and said his career was not helped "just because my father knew the two Ronnies."

None so blind....

I come from an immigrant community. Most of our parents struggled but the next generation worked hard to have better jobs.
Yes there was luck involved that we ended up in this country in the first place and that we didn’t die or suffer tragedy that would affect us but I can guarantee that there was plenty of hard work involved.
Maybe we were lucky that we didn’t have racist employers and had opportunities? Maybe we just looked to see what could do to overcome barriers and work hard for it?
Ethnic minorities know that we have to work twice as hard to get somewhere.

Choice has a lot to do with it. So maybe having the insight and making sound judgements is a lucky attribute to have,

If I think of key turning points in my life, there were different choices I could have taken, some of which would have turned my life to shit or else put me on the path to advantage. I can think of 5 major life-changing decisions I've taken through my life where I took the option that stood me the best chance of success.

None of it fell on my lap like a gift from God, it involved hard work, and each opportunity was only there for a fleeting moment, if I hadn't taken the decisions when I did, they would have been lost forever. And I wasn't the only person those chances were available to, someone else could have quite easily pipped me to the post, but I got there before they did.

I think I'm lucky to be born into a relatively affluent society . I had a challenging upbringing ,married a nasty man and brought up 2 kids myself . But I don't think I've been unlucky, thinking about it my upbringing helped me relate to all people being a single parent gave me me focus and drive these things actually shaped me . I have a senior role in education developing support for children with additional needs . My kids are grown and amazing.
So I think I noticed my luck and dug it out of all the shite !!

I can't believe Jack Whitehall said that with any seriousness, knowing how much he sends himself up.

I worked really hard by studying for 4 years on top of having a full time job and 5 children - I was lucky that my employer paid for my study, my dh and children supported it and I was born with a brain that was suited to it.

It doesn't take away from the hard work and sacrifice I had to make during that time but it does recognise that I was fortunate in a way that lots of others aren't.

You are lucky that you never had any obstacles to get to where to you are now.
No mental health problems or disabilities or caring responsibilities which stopped you from being able to work.