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Original poster

Are you ‘lucky’ If you’ve done well for yourself?

446 replies

MissMessy12 · 06/12/2020 19:57

If you have a nice home, financially comfortable, happy family life does it annoy you when people comment on how ‘lucky’ you are?
To me luck is about chance, winning the lottery for example or being in the right place at the right time.
Everything I have, I’ve worked hard for, in my opinion has nothing to do with luck.

OP posts:
JacobReesMogadishu · 06/12/2020 22:39

I’d say that I agree, it isnt really luck.

I used to have a fairly low paid, dead end job and decided I wanted more so went back to uni and did a second degree. We lived off one wage and an nhs student bursary while I did this. It was tough. So I ended up with a better job/career than I had before but not down to luck.

Guess I was lucky in that I was born in the U.K., not elsewhere. That I had the intelligence to manage the course, that I had good health. But then most people could. So I wouldn’t say I was lucky. But I’d agree I have been unlucky. Some people for example have been unlucky to have poor health.

Since completing my degree I’ve gone on every course I could, worked hard, paid for courses myself. Got promoted multiple times, but I’d say more through hard work, not luck.

MedusasBadHairDay · 06/12/2020 22:40

@Cherrysoup

Me and my DH have worked since before 18. We’ve been in the same jobs for a long time so we are at the top of the salary scale. We rarely take holidays, our cars are old, but we don’t deprive ourselves, although we’re careful. We are comfortably off, one salary covers the mortgage with £1K to spare. It”s nothing to do with luck.
You've clearly worked hard, but you've also been lucky to have been able to work since before 18, and to be in the same jobs for a long time. You haven't been forced out of work by disability, your employer hasn't got a rough patch and made you redundant, etc.

So luck has played a part, just by virtue of not being unlucky.

notreadyfortheheat · 06/12/2020 22:40

I know where you are coming from. But I think you need hard work and luck. I know a lot of people that work VERY hard and just seem to never catch a break. I think it's a bit unfair to think, if someone doesn't have a nice home or lifestyle, they simply don't work hard.

Sarahandduck18 · 06/12/2020 22:43

It’s basic human psychology that people attribute their successes to themselves. People want to feel in control of their destiny. So to admit luck played a part makes us all less secure in our (false) sense of agency.

It’s also a political agenda to make us all think this way. There’s so much propaganda about this we don’t even notice it.

NoPainNoTartine · 06/12/2020 22:45

It's easy to snigger

but look at the pandemic (or the last financial crash). Some very well paid employees of the travel industry jumped pretty much immediately in another job at the beginning of the lockdown.
Others thought they were far too grand for that and refuse to even consider it.

10 month down the line, who is "lucky"?

NoPainNoTartine · 06/12/2020 22:46

It’s basic human psychology that people attribute their successes to themselves.

as they tend to know how many hours, how much pressure and how much work went into it, they might have a point. Outsiders don't really know what was involved, do they.

User415373 · 06/12/2020 22:47

Depends on your outlook. Being born in this country makes us lucky. When I was child, I used to marvel at how lucky I was to born in this island. I couldn't get my head around it.
I came from an abusive home, low income social housing, substance abuse, domestic violence etc. When my mother finally left, we went to an abusive stepdade. I'm lucky because seeing that made me want to do well, and I have. I'm also hard as fuck and when I see friends over-thinking small stuff I just think thank goodness I'm not like that, I'm so lucky! I think I'm lucky that a chain of events brought me here and now I've got a life I used to dream of.
People say to me you're so lucky in that house, with your job, with everything you have. Yes I am. And I work hard. You can be both.

Northernsoullover · 06/12/2020 22:48

Even the inheritance ones are down to luck. I know it sounds harsh and maybe unkind but when I see people say 'well, yes I did inherit but I'd far rather have my gran/mum/dad' its as if they cannot comprehend that there are many, many people that lose a loved one and don't inherit a bean because the family were never wealthy or a home owner.

Racoonworld · 06/12/2020 22:49

I think it’s a mixture of luck and hard work for the average person. There’s always going to be extremes where one person is born into a very wealthy family and gets handed everything, and another who came from nothing but worked multiple jobs and saved absolutely everything and did it all themselves. But generally for the average ‘comfortable’ person it will have been some luck (maybe a small inheritance or cash gift, knowing the right person to get a leg up for a job, having a stable home life so did well at school) and also hard work (working hard at uni, working hard in first jobs, taking on extra hours work, forgoing holidays and fancy tech to save for house deposits etc.). I think it’s a bit insulting to say it’s all completely luck (unless your from that really wealthy family), but not realistic to say it’s completely hard work only.

sunsalutations · 06/12/2020 22:51

Nope, not lucky. But yes to being astute - assessing situations and taking advantage of openings and opportunities in all areas of life.

Dreamingofsunnydays1 · 06/12/2020 22:52

I think luck can play a part in some successful people's lives. Some people get opportunities because of who they know, being in the right place at the right time, or being born into a family with money.

There's no denying that some privileged people have the 'luck' that less advantaged people just don't get.

beargryllshasabigrope · 06/12/2020 22:53

Absolutely lucky. It doesn't minimise anything you've done, but to conclude that your good fortune is not down to luck is arrogant.

You are lucky to be in a safe country, lucky to be able to better yourself through hard work, lucky to have these opportunities. Many people, in this country and others aren't so lucky, and despite all their hard work, they will never reach the dizzying heights that we consider basic rights.

It is luck, with a touch of hard work. For so many of us.

Chickenwing · 06/12/2020 22:55

Yes. I am not well off at all and live a very normal/basic life. Me and DP both earn about 20k. But we rent a flat from my family very cheaply. And we have been gifted about 10k as a wedding gift which we keep as rainy day/emergency money (or to dip into if I run out of money by the end of the month.)

If it was my own merit I couldn't afford the lifestyle I live so I feel very lucky. I hope one day to earn more money and save enough deposit to buy our own home.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 06/12/2020 22:57

anyone who doesn't think that luck plays a large role in achieving success is seriously deluded

Crumbleandcake · 06/12/2020 23:04

I hate being told I'm lucky. I'm fortunate yes and intensely grateful for what I have, but not lucky.

My husband grew up on a council estate, I came from a working class family. Both are the only ones from our families to go to university. I worked evening's and weekends to get through university. We saved hard, bought our first house, then did that up and sold it & bought another. Did this 4 times to get where we are now. Meanwhile we both did masters degrees and later PhD. We didn't go on holiday for several years, worked in the evenings and spent weekends wallpapering, tiling, gardening to do up houses. We didn't buy cars, gadgets, holidays, takeaways for years.

We now live comfort in a large farmhouse in the countryside (which we also did up). We now have nice holidays, live comfortably. We worked so so hard to have this.

Some luck, yes. My MSc was funded by work, we found each other with the same mindset. But a lot more of it is really hard work.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 06/12/2020 23:06

I agree with posters who say it’s usually a combination of graft and luck. There are some people who have a lot of luck, e.g. being born into a wealthy family, but then other people are born with strong intellects that enable them to go far.

As a PP said, I’m hugely grateful to be living in a first-world country in the twentieth-first century. I was reading an article earlier today in The Economist about the way people suffering from mental illnesses are still treated in some countries-barbarically in some cases. It really puts things in perspective.

TooTrueToBeGood · 06/12/2020 23:07

Luck, or the influence of factors outwith our control, plays a part in everything in life. However, we also have to work with the cards we are dealt and some do better at that than others. Sadly, lots of people get dealt such shit cards they never stood a chance. Ultimately, if you have a good life and are successful then at least have some humility and appreciate that regardless of what you did personally you also got some breaks along the way.

BackforGood · 06/12/2020 23:09

It’s basic human psychology that people attribute their successes to themselves.

This is so true.

As this is a parenting site, we could compare with parents having the child that sleeps well ....... "We didn't pander to him from the start" or the child that eats well ........ "We've always offered her a variety of healthy foods" etc etc.

We probably are all convinced in the first place, when we have a child that does these things, that it is due to our excellent parenting, then you get dc2, brought up exactly the same, and you realise that - yes, your 'nurture' plays a part, by, by heck, the child's own individuality has a real input too Wink

missbunnyrabbit · 06/12/2020 23:09

Oh come on. Everything is luck. My boyfriend says that he "makes his own luck" and I just roll my eyes. Everything in this universe is luck. Yes, good decisions etc can influence things but most things are actually out of your control.

Nellle · 06/12/2020 23:09

Even an absence of bad luck is lucky. @kidneybingo

Absolutely this.

naughtyelfs · 06/12/2020 23:13

Lots of posters talk about working hard & an inheritance in the same breath. I couldn't have worked every hour under the sun but without help to get on the housing ladder it would have been useless.

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor · 06/12/2020 23:15

Oh god absolutely @BackforGood

Kellyslab · 06/12/2020 23:16

I beat the odds in my life - poverty, BAME, female in male dominated industry. But I am still just lucky, I had good parents who, despite being poor, wanted to support me, put a roof over my head and always made sure I could eat. Lucky in that I happen to live where there’s good schools so I could get the education I needed. Lucky I was born with reasonable confidence to do well in interviews. Lucky that I speak with a “nice” accent (well what is considered one) to make me more employable.

Some people work tirelessly hard and get nothing. It’s all luck...fate, maybe.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 06/12/2020 23:18

A lot of it is luck

Dh has worked very hard but he’s been very lucky as well

billy1966 · 06/12/2020 23:25

Whilst background definitely plays a part in luck, I do also believe when successful people say it's amazing how much more luck I had the harder I worked!