Background;. Growing up I lived in old clothes, clothes from bags that people donated to us, boys clothes, my middle aged aunts old clothes, shoes 3 sizes too big with cotton wool stuffed in the end. Home made hair cuts. Etc. My mother had a good job but she had a problem with spending any money on us. As an adult, I have no problem with second hand things but do like to like to have choice now and for the things I have to be quality. My in-laws and friends have given my baby nice quality things so I am lucky and well stocked as a new mum.
Current issue: When I became pregnant my mother started asking me if I wanted my cousin's old baby clothes. I said no, she would sit and try and persuade me, I said no again. She would then ask if I wanted her other friends old baby gym, clothes, baby plates etc and everything else, I said maybe just the gym. She continues to talk and try to persuade me to take everything despite me saying I don't need it all. I eventually keep saying I don't need it all and she says ok. I find out a few weeks later she has asked her friend to drop the baby clothes off at the house despite me saying no to them. I got a bit cross at this point because she just didn't listen and I ask her to please respect my wishes and no more things for the baby thank you we already have enough. A few weeks later my father tells me she went to buy a second hand buggy, bag of clothes and mattress from people from gumtree. I was fuming at this point because she apparently has ignored my wishes. The buggy is dirty and old and my mother tries to insist she will just hose off all the grime.
Fast forward, my child is newborn, she presents a bag of girls clothes to me and insists my son wear the items and that it's all ok. I say no but she protests. Later my father slips up and tells me my mother has a garage and shed full of stuff for my son. I am picturing more baby stuff, but he says there are bikes in there, baby walkers, chairs and tables etc. All piled up that she has asked friends to donate for my son. She gets cross because apparently this was a secret between my father and her.
Am I being unreasonable to be fuming right now? I don't know what to do anymore she just won't listen. When I try to say no to anything she twists it and tells me I am not environmentally friendly, she came from a poor family and had nothing, etc. Etc.