To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?

[BecomeStronger]

E.g Claudia's style looks far more modern than Tess'. I love the way young women will wear flats or even trainers and be comfortable rather than dressing for men.

Are these the same men who profess to love women with a healthy appetite? Provided that they never go above a size ten, of course.

I think most men prefer slim but don't know any men who only dates a certain size since it also depends on height. I'm just under 5ft 10 & most men have assumed I weigh less then I do because I'm a bit lanky.

I do think men prefer natural make up to lots of make up eg they don't want smears on their sheets, clothes & lipstick on them. Eg bobbi brown subtle vs instagram contouring.

Yes, PMSL that most straight men have firm opinions about fashion details and trends (beyond the obvious, hem and neck line) so when women follow fashion, it's solely for men.

IME, the only people who notice the details, cut, material and such like hence the people who are 'dressed for' are other women.

www.google.co.uk/search?q=caked+in+make+up&client=safari&hl=en-gb&prmd=ivsn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjau_rar7ntAhVYi1wKHdj3AYQQ_AUoAXoECAwQAQ&biw=414&bih=715&dpr=2#imgrc=pL5FjA5BwmAsEM

I just know the few times I've tried to 'dress sexy' I've felt exactly the opposite. But that's me. Despite having a conventionally passable bod I end up feeling uncomfortable. And that is very UNsexy. But if you're comfy with it I say go ahead. And everyone else should stop the insistently judging. Ooops I just judged

I'm not sure wearing heels is appealing to men anymore except maybe the older foot fetish ones.

@Pollypocket89

I’m inclined not to believe women who claim to be “dressing for themselves” when they totter out in heels, overly tight clothing etc etc. They are hoping they catch the male gaze, clearly!

So don't believe them then although, again, It always astounds me when posters really genuinely can't fathom why anyone would do something/wear something/think something different to them.

Awful thread. As pp’s have said you would never hear comments like this about men.

There are some women in my office who ‘dress up’ choose to look smart. They don’t look ‘old’ or ‘desperate’, they actually look quite fabulous and I often wish I had made more effort when I see them.

I can’t understand why women are unable to wear whatever they like without other women - and unfortunately it usually is other women - judging and criticising their choices. Just do you and leave them be.

@Iamthewombat

when they totter out in heels, overly tight clothing etc etc. They are hoping they catch the male gaze, clearly!

Young women on a night out hoping to look attractive, have a laugh and meet a boyfriend SHOCK.

Not all women wearing heels ‘totter’. Not all fitted dresses are ‘overly tight’. No wonder so many women are worried about their appearance when there is an endless supply of critics amongst their own gender.

Not all women wearing heels ‘totter’.

In comparison to women wearing ballet flats, brogues or loafers, they most certainly do!

@Janegrey333 Let’s review your dubious choice of phrase
They are hoping they catch the male gaze, clearly! I hate to break it to you but women and girls are routinely subject to male gaze,usually unwarranted. We don’t need to hope men gaze upon us,they habitually do look and comment upon women. Forums such as #everyday sexism describes the experience of women

@LuaDipa

Awful thread. As pp’s have said you would never hear comments like this about men.

There are some women in my office who ‘dress up’ choose to look smart. They don’t look ‘old’ or ‘desperate’, they actually look quite fabulous and I often wish I had made more effort when I see them.

I can’t understand why women are unable to wear whatever they like without other women - and unfortunately it usually is other women - judging and criticising their choices. Just do you and leave them be.

This is a discussion thread and as such, people are giving their point of view.

It wasn’t PollyPocket who made the remark about women claiming to dress for themselves whilst dishonestly ‘seeking the male gaze’. She’s far too sensible.

@D4rwin

I'm not sure wearing heels is appealing to men anymore except maybe the older foot fetish ones.

Yes.

@MacDuffsMuff don't think you meant to quote me there as my post was explicitly agreeing with your point

Also Jane, Google stage make up. It's often 'caked on' as lighting washes it out. Picking Katy Perry, a performer, probably wasn't the wisest choice there...

@BecomeStronger

Why is it dressing for men? If I go to a party, dress up glam in a dress, I do it for ME!

Would you do it for a girly night out with women only friends?

Yes... I most certainly would.

I'm not sure wearing heels is appealing to men anymore except maybe the older foot fetish ones.

I've been chatted up three times because of my trainers 🤣

Why can't people just mind their own fucking business about what other people do if its nothing to do with them and not harming anyone? It's really really sad

@LuaDipa makes valid point that women are judged by harsh standards
If we wear heels it’s suggested we totter not walk but actually totter which implies ditziness and unsteadiness.

If men look at a woman it’s because she’s invited it, she’s dressed to provoke a reaction,pander to men. As opposed to some men just gawp at women uninvited . They impose their lascivious gaze on women

Make up doesn’t render a woman whimsy or mean she’s a home wrecker out to steal other women’s partners

@Pollypocket89 apologies, I didn't! 😁 I can't even be arsed to look back at who I meant to quote now but I agree with this >> Why can't people just mind their own fucking business about what other people do if its nothing to do with them and not harming anyone? It's really really sad in spades.

I don't think we can criticise young women for wanting to attract the male gaze. I definitely sometimes dressed to look nice for the opposite sex it just didn't involve a body con dress & Louboutins. I'm also not attracted to men with overly coiffed hair, muscle straining t-shirt's & skinny jeans. People find different things sexy.

[quote Pollypocket89]**@MacDuffsMuff* don't think you meant to quote me* there as my post was explicitly agreeing with your point

Also Jane, Google stage make up. It's often 'caked on' as lighting washes it out. Picking Katy Perry, a performer, probably wasn't the wisest choice there...[/quote]
Check...

@Oblomov20

Why is it dressing for men? If I go to a party, dress up glam in a dress, I do it for ME!

Oh come on. If you dress like that for a party rather than being alone, it's for other people whether it's men or women.

Well being the mother of a couple of young women they tend to wear the following. Daytime mostly joggers,leggings,t shirt, sweat shirt, hoodie, trainers, hair in a ponytail or bun, no make up, big puffer coat.
Night out: Makeup, possibly including false eyelashes, trousers/jeans/skirt/dress, top sometimes sweater maybe cropped, usually neutral colours , mainly plain not patterened, short jacket again in a plain neutral colour, chunky boots, trainers or shoes, usually quite low heeled, definitely nowhere near as toe crippling or high as I wore as a young woman.
They also take a small bag on nights out, something I rarely did, they also wear a coat again something I never did as a young woman. All in all they dress more sensibly than I did!

@wozzere

I don't think we can criticise young women for wanting to attract the male gaze. I definitely sometimes dressed to look nice for the opposite sex it just didn't involve a body con dress & Louboutins. I'm also not attracted to men with overly coiffed hair, muscle straining t-shirt's & skinny jeans. People find different things sexy.

No, but it's a bit silly to deny it isn't it. Why not own it?

I agree

Isn't that the point? When women have gone out of their way to be traditionally sexy, they rarely look comfortable or confident, quite the opposite. It's a shame they feel the need to do it to themselves, especially as most look better when they don't

@BecomeStronger You completely missed Shirley's point - it doesn't matter whether you think they must be uncomfortable or underconfident, it isn't about you! I love wearing heels and well-tailored clothes, it has nothing to do with feeling like I need to. Can you honestly not contemplate that other women may feel differently to you about this? Is the only possible reason that we'd dress differently to you that we are repressed man-pleasers? If that's the case then it's you who is the old-fashioned one believing that women aren't capable of having differing, unique opinions.