I don't want my kids to be vegetarian

[HowToTrainYourTeen]

DC (15 & 13) have decided they want to go vegetarian. I don't want to go vegetarian and neither does DH, so they'd have to have different meals. I/DH don't want to be wasting time making 2 different meals whenever we want meat or fish, and we don't really have space for 2 people to be cooking at once. WIBU to say no?

At that age it’s something they won’t forget - my mother force fed me meat for years . I’ve now been vegetarian 30 years

I became a vegetarian aged 12 My mum said it was fine as long as I did my own shopping and cooking. To be fair, she did keep the freezer well stocked with frozen margarita pizza.

When they’re under your roof, they either eat what they’re given or cook for themselves. If they want to be vegetarian, they can do that when they leave home.

@underneaththeash

Unfortunately they're still not old enough to know what's good for them. Vegetarian diets do not offer all the essential amino acids that children need. Fish oils are particularly healthy. Humans are omnivores - whilst they're still growing they need to eat a range of meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, seeds etc.... They can do what they like when they leave home.

What a lot of utter bollocks. Plenty of healthy adults born into veggie families have never put meat or fish in their mouths since the day they were born.

Good for them! And yes, you need to do what any good parent should do and support hem in their choices, even if it means a slight inconvenience to you. It’s really not that difficult. We have 1 vegan, 3 vegetarians and one carnivore in our house. My 16 year old has been vegan for 2 years and has been cooking some meals for herself every week since then.

Oh and just to add that now even the resolute meat eaters in our house prefer a spag bol made with lentils and a bean chilli over a mince one. We’ve looked it as an opportunity to mix up the menu and trying new things.

@SweetPetrichor

When they’re under your roof, they either eat what they’re given or cook for themselves. If they want to be vegetarian, they can do that when they leave home.

That’s such a shitty attitude.

Do you make your children eat food they don’t like?

People have different tastes. No one is saying the op needs to offer a full gourmet veggie menu every night, just to accommodate some fairly simple changes that would allow her kids to eat veggie.

@underneaththeash

Unfortunately they're still not old enough to know what's good for them. Vegetarian diets do not offer all the essential amino acids that children need. Fish oils are particularly healthy. Humans are omnivores - whilst they're still growing they need to eat a range of meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, seeds etc.... They can do what they like when they leave home.

What a load of ignorant rubbish! I’ve been vegetarian since 14 and am now a very healthy 50 year old. There are plenty of ways of getting the full range of amino acids, and yes fish oils are healthy but can be replaced.

Do you make your children eat food they don’t like?
I don’t tolerate pickiness. If DC don’t like what I’ve cooked then there’s toast as an alternative. I’ll cater for genuine needs or allergies but not for pure pickiness.

Sit them down and discuss it with them.
It is much easier now to buy vegetarian food in supermarkets and find recipes online .
I'm 54 and I;ve been vegetarian since I was 14yo . DH since he was 19yo , our DD when she was 14yo . Seems to be an age where awareness is high . DD always tried our meals since she was little though we didn't bring either of our DC up as vegetarian.
DS only eats chicken or occasional sausages (by choice ) he doesn;t like red meat and very rarely eats fish.

No reason why they can't make and freeze ahead . Much easier .

Most resturants/fast food places have all the information on menus .

Ethics wise - Free Range eggs (if they want to eat eggs) , wil they want dairy alternatives ?
Cruelty Free toiletries and detergents ?

I use supermarket own brand washing powders with the Leaping Bunny - they're cheaper and just as effetive .
Same with cleaning products (Astonish )

@AnnnaBananna They CAN though. They just don’t want to. Vegetarianism is not like an allergy - it’s a choice. I’d cater for an allergy but I wouldn’t put myself out for a choice

So if you invited someone for a meal, asked about allergies etc, and they said they were veggie you would serve them meat and expect them to eat it?

Massively. If you don't respect their decision this could be the end of your relationship

AnnaBanana, do you cook and eat food that you dont like? Or are your choices 'right' and if people dont agree with you they are 'picky'?

My nephew went veggie at 13, and I always think of him when people start advising cookbooks and recipes and batch cooking.

My sister's family really doesn't cook - lots of oven chips and frozen burgers and food from tins or packet sauces, stuff that can be put-together or heated rather than cooked. Fruit rare, vegetables even rarer. I'm not judgy; that is just how it is for them. Everyone seems healthy enough, if a touch overweight.

So he swapped in veggie burgers, okay, but you can understand how freaked out my sis was at him going down thus very odd path in a household that was just not set up to support him. It was a real shocker and frankly he spent 3 years eating oven chips and cheese and the odd Quorn whatnot.

So, even as a lifelong veggie myself, I know how very very difficult this might be for some families.

My nephew is now vegan and a fabulous cook and never touches Quorn or meat substitutes. But it was all a bit of a tough period and there were lots of tears.

Good luck, OP - you really do need to support them in this. It is a chance to expand your horizons and learn new foods to love. What else are dc for if not to force you out of your comfort zone at every opportunity?

I'd let them but on the condition that they cook and wash up after themselves and that they have a balanced, varied diet.

I found it hard when dd went pescatarian a couple of years ago. There were a lot of queen nuggets and rather horrible soya mince. It takes a while to adapt and now it’s second nature. We have a rolling list of meals, which helps. Dh and I still eat meat twice a week.

My DD (9) has just gone pescatarian. I would never dream of saying I can't be arsed to cook to cater for a moral and healthy lifestyle choice.

Yes its a slight extra faff but nothing that significant. It just takes a bit of imagination.

If you basically force your kids to eat meat they will end up massively resenting you.

@AnnnaBananna

Do you make your children eat food they don’t like? I don’t tolerate pickiness. If DC don’t like what I’ve cooked then there’s toast as an alternative. I’ll cater for genuine needs or allergies but not for pure pickiness.

Not eating animals that are abused and then killed is not fussiness.

You would happily eat dog and cat, or fermented eggs?

I went veggie at 8 at my grandparents house. I saw diced rabbit in the supermarket freezer and knew I would never eat meat again. There were big arguments but as I was embarrassing my parents and upsetting my grandparents but I refused to eat anything if there was meat on the plate. To start with it was just baked beans and vegetables and then my mum realised I was serious so I was told I would have to eat what I was given to get my nutrition. 32 years ago it was sosmix and burgermix and nut roast 🤮 but I did it and I preached and converted my mum and brother a few years later when the options were slightly better.

I don’t honestly believe you should force anyone to eat anything and even if you don’t agree with it, then I think you need to think to accept that they are old enough to decide what goes into their bodies. If they don’t already do a lot of cooking then this will be a good time to start.

@Calligraphy572 it doesn’t sound like your nephew’s diet changed for the worse. It just sounded like a bad omnivorous diet became a bad veggie one.

Yabu soz. This is a chance for you as a parent to learn from your kids and change. Youve brought up 2 thoughtful kids, well done. We are a mixed family and the 3 veggies are just as healthy as the meat eaters. Mixed meals are really easy and just saying 'cook for yourselves' is unwelcoming and unhelpful. I became veggie and spent so much time with my grandparents who had Victorian attitudes to food, but even they didn't force me to eat meat! They would give me a lump of cheese or a hard boiled egg where they had meat on their plates, very basic but yes they respected my choices. Its the least you can do.

You get used to it. My dd turned veggie about the same age and still is.

I actually prefer veggie food most of the time and it's not hard to stick an extra pan on and do a non-meat version or add meat if you're desperate to eat something's flesh.

I don't understand why you wouldn't at least give it a try and give a show of respect to their opinions.

Oh and just to add that now even the resolute meat eaters in our house prefer a spag bol made with lentils and a bean chilli over a mince one. We’ve looked it as an opportunity to mix up the menu and trying new things

This. I don’t understand the “must have meat” and resistance to anything veggie on principle.

It’s the same attitude as English tourists who go abroad, insist on egg chips and beans and won’t try the “foreign muck”.

I had a veggie housemate as a student. I saw it as an opportunity to try new dishes rather than oh god we’re all going to have to cook separately. Unfortunately she could only cook pizza and chips 😂

The turning point for me being totally veggie was when I realised veggie dishes in restaurants were often far nicer than meat ones. Up until then i’d eaten meat when out, mainly veggie at home.

I wanted to go veggie when I was 13. My mum said that if I was serious that I didn't want to eat meat then I would need to cook my own food.

I ended up eating boiled rice or noodles most nights. However I did still eat mums dinners when I felt like it. As that showed I wasn't serious she didn't support my desire to be veggie. If I had of properly stuck to it she would have.

I did actually stop eating meat after I left home and I'm still veggie now.