I don't want my kids to be vegetarian

[HowToTrainYourTeen]

DC (15 & 13) have decided they want to go vegetarian. I don't want to go vegetarian and neither does DH, so they'd have to have different meals. I/DH don't want to be wasting time making 2 different meals whenever we want meat or fish, and we don't really have space for 2 people to be cooking at once. WIBU to say no?

Cant you just have meat for lunch when they're at school or when u eat out?

@user1274245 because for some, the thought of eating dead animals is massively upsetting. It’s not just a disagreement.

I went vegetarian at the age of 11 (still am) and I am so, so grateful to my lovely mum for the effort she made to find/learn loads of vegetarian recipes and help me to track down meat alternatives that I liked for nights when she and my dad were having traditional meat and veg. This was back in the early 80s when there were so few alternatives available. These days there are absolutely loads - it's really not that hard to make two versions of the same meal, one with meat/fish and the other with Quorn mince or veggie sausages or whatever. Your kids are old enough to learn to cook for themselves and can batch cook veggie bolognese sauces or chilli or whatever at weekends so they have a couple of easy meals during the week, and there are infinite possibilities for vegetarian meals you can all have.

@user1274245

Hold up, why are people suggesting it is of vital life-changing importance that the op respects her children's desire to try vegetarianism but it's ok to disrespect the op's values and dietary choices?

Nobody’s said that. OP can eat whatever she likes and nobody’s questioned that. She’s trying to force her choices on other people, her kids haven’t suggested she stops eating meat.

@user1274245

Hold up, why are people suggesting it is of vital life-changing importance that the op respects her children's desire to try vegetarianism but it's ok to disrespect the op's values and dietary choices?

And because a meaty diet is less healthy for the individual and the planet and costs more.

@user1274245

Hold up, why are people suggesting it is of vital life-changing importance that the op respects her children's desire to try vegetarianism but it's ok to disrespect the op's values and dietary choices?

No longer wanting to eat meat is a personal, moral decision, not an act of disrespect.

These books by Nicola Graimes are aimed at mixed families. The recipes are designed be made meat free/meaty with a couple of small adjustments late in the prep :

www.amazon.co.uk/Part-Time-Vegetarian-Flexible-Recipes-Meat-Free/dp/1848992653?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

www.amazon.co.uk/Part-Time-Vegetarians-Year-Flexible-Recipes/dp/1848993811?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

If you all do meat free once or twice a week that would give you another two nights with single dish cooking.

At 15 and 13 they are also old enough to be cooking, maybe at weekends when there is more time.

If you say "no" you will simply create resentment. If you agree to try it out you may find many new meals you enjoy as well to broaden the everyday recipe list for the house.

If they don't want to eat what you're making then they can cook for themselves, they're plenty old enough.

Buy a couple of veggie cookbooks and a load of vegetables and let them cool their own meals, chances are they'll soon give up once there's a degree of effort involved (as with most things for teenagers). But if they don't then it's a win win.

@user1274245

Hold up, why are people suggesting it is of vital life-changing importance that the op respects her children's desire to try vegetarianism but it's ok to disrespect the op's values and dietary choices?

Nobody is disrespecting the OPs too

Hold up, why are people suggesting it is of vital life-changing importance that the op respects her children's desire to try vegetarianism but it's ok to disrespect the op's values and dietary choices?

Generally, meat eaters can and will eat vegetarian food. If you’ve ever been to a buffet as a veggie this is very clear! Most meat eaters enjoy veggie food and the veggie options go as quickly as the meat.

It’s easy to adapt to veggie, and there’s no need to cook for everyone separately. O/p doesn’t have to go veggie or refuse to cook for her children, she can do both. But I find meat eaters generally enjoy veggie food, so why not compromise and try it a couple of times a week?

The op can eat whatever she wants no one is suggesting otherwise

Yanbu to not want to have to cook separate veggie meals for them or be expected to change your own meals to veggie ones.

Yabu to try to prevent them from being veggie full stop. They're plenty old enough to cook for themselves if they find the set family dinner that disgusting.

@user1274245 but OPs choice is not being disrespected but that she wants to force her children to eat meant when they don't want to. Don't you think that's wrong?

Will they eat the veggie alternatives? Pulses, soya and other meat substitutes? When my dd age 10yo said she wanted to go veggie I said she could give up meat but not fish. We eat a lot of fish and I knew my dd really likes fish so she agreed to this plan readily.

Dd also likes all the veggie alternatives so it's not hard cooking for her and my meat intake has also reduced.

@user1274245

Hold up, why are people suggesting it is of vital life-changing importance that the op respects her children's desire to try vegetarianism but it's ok to disrespect the op's values and dietary choices?

Because meatavores (of which I most certainly am one) can eat veggie-based food but vegetarians cannot eat meat-based food. It's easy enough to cook meals that have meat as a separate item.

OP: I like PP's suggestion of cooking veggie meals twice a week (with leftovers), your children cooking one meal per week (with leftovers), and you cooking your usual fare the other nights while they eat the leftovers. That's a lovely, family-friendly compromise that also encourages them to take some responsibility for meals.

I was cooking family meals for 7 (then 9) people from the age of 11 so I'm sure they can handle it.

DD is veggie and has been for the past 18 months since she started secondary school.
I won’t lie some days it’s a faff but it was her choice so we have respected that and tried to make sure she has the nutrients she needs.
Me and DH would happily eat veggie stuff but the 2 boys are fussy with veg and like meat so it’s not so simple.

I make meals that can have the protein on the side eg risotto with chicken/quorn breasts, or burgers is simple to give her a veggie one.
When it’s not possible ie chilli or bolagnaise I make 2 batches but I’ll often make a large batch and freeze portions so eg one night I might just make a meat bolagnaise as I know I have veggie in the freezer to get out and defrost for DD. Then the leftovers of the meat bolagnaise go in the freezer so next time I just make a veggie one and can defrost the meat one etc.

Cant they batch cook their veggie meals so you’re not bumping into each other?

They're old enough to make their own food before or after you make yours.

I think that's quite unfair. My husband is veggie and I am not, and I'm not making two dinners at a time!! I'll generally eat what he's eating, and might add chicken or fish if I feel like, but I've actually been surprised at how little I miss it! There are some really easy, tasty meals that can be make without much fuss. Try The Green Roasting Tin or Deliciously Ella Quick and Easy, both books that we use heavily!

Yabu. Your dc are old enough to know what they want to eat. A veggie diet is much healthier than a meat diet, and better for the planet.

Get them an easy veggie cook book and come to some agreement about when you will c book and when they will cook. They're old enough!

YANBU. I don’t have time to mess about cooking two meals. I’d be inclined to say they can be veggie if they cook for themselves.

Make them cook their own meals and ensure you haven't got any junk in the house.
They will have changed their mind my next weekend.

I find it a bit strange that you’d need to cook different meals. Lots of meat products are able to be directly swapped.

Also find it strange that you eat meat every single day. Maybe try a few vegetarian days to suit the whole family.

Short answer, yes it is unreasonable to force people to eat meat if they’ve made a moral choice not to

Going against the grain to say while at home you eat what you're given.

vegetarians cannot eat meat-based food
They CAN though. They just don’t want to. Vegetarianism is not like an allergy - it’s a choice. I’d cater for an allergy but I wouldn’t put myself out for a choice.