I don't want my kids to be vegetarian

[HowToTrainYourTeen]

DC (15 & 13) have decided they want to go vegetarian. I don't want to go vegetarian and neither does DH, so they'd have to have different meals. I/DH don't want to be wasting time making 2 different meals whenever we want meat or fish, and we don't really have space for 2 people to be cooking at once. WIBU to say no?

I decided to stop eating meat when I was 12. It wasn’t really a moral or ethical decision at the time, I just never really enjoyed meat very much (used to pick it off pizza and pick it out of other meals too). At the time there weren’t many veggie alternatives on the market at all and the ones that did exist were horrible, they tasted like cardboard. My Mum used to just make me meals without the meat so for example, I’d often just have spag bol without mince.

You can’t force a 13 and 15 year old to eat meat and it’s better for everyone if we all eat less of it anyway. You’re lucky lots of meat alternatives exist now, it’s the easiest it’s ever been to be vegetarian.

t’s teaching them how to think for themselves and be capable of determining their own moral compass. Which is what’s happening here

They can have their own moral compass on food when they can cook the food. If they aren't going to do that, tough. Thinking for themselves isn't enough, they need to be doing for themselves as well.

Calling others authoritarian merely makes you look stupid, and strangely smug (though why you would be is hard to see)

Calling others authoritarian merely makes you look stupid, and strangely smug (though why you would be is hard to see)

Here we go again. More rudeness. Logic and evidence based argument would be far more effective.

It’s teaching them how to think for themselves and be capable of determining their own moral compass.

clearly implying that people who don't agree with you are not teaching their children to think for themselves... smug indeed.

@HitthatroadJack

It’s teaching them how to think for themselves and be capable of determining their own moral compass.

clearly implying that people who don't agree with you are not teaching their children to think for themselves... smug indeed.

You need a few lessons in cognitive thinking. It implied nothing of the sort. However, if you choose to infer that don’t let me stop you.

You need a few lessons in cognitive thinking. It implied nothing of the sort.

no, of course it doesn't

I said you were funny!

Glad you’re so easily amused.

so am I, it makes for such a more pleasant and enjoyable life

Does this really have to evolve into competitive moralising?

It’s simple. If you aren’t a meat eater then you don’t have to cook vegetarian meals, just as if you’re a vegetarian you shouldn’t have to cook meat for your children, somehow I don’t think that the veggies on this thread would be suggesting that posters cook meat for their children and adapt by incorporating some meat into their diets if the situation were the other way around.

If my child wanted to become a vegetarian I would just not give him meat with roasts etc, if he wanted specific vegetarian meals he would have to cook them himself.

And I wouldn’t even engage with the idea of veganism. Veganism is not a healthy diet. Any diet which means you also have to take supplements is neither balanced nor healthy, but that aside, we have dairy, eggs, meat, fish etc at home and it’s virtually impossible to do vegan without serious adjustment, and I just wouldn’t go there. He could become a vegan when he was able to cook (and pay for) the food himself.

I don’t think that the veggies on this thread would be suggesting that posters cook meat for their children and adapt by incorporating some meat into their diets if the situation were the other way around.

Plenty of vegetarian parents do cook meat for their children. I cook dairy and eggs for dh even though I’m vegan.

Meat eaters don’t exclusively eat meat.

Veganism is not a healthy diet

It is if you do it right. My son’s a vegan and has been for over ten years. When he stopped using all animal products it was a lot harder to be vegan than it is now. He gets B12 from fortified cereal which contains more than most fish and dairy products. He’s never ill and can still fit into the suit he bought 24 years ago when he was 21. I bet not many guys can say that!

Plenty of vegetarians on this thread have discussed how they cater for themselves and their meat eating family

I don’t think that the veggies on this thread would be suggesting that posters cook meat for their children and adapt by incorporating some meat into their diets if the situation were the other way around

If you read the thread plenty of veggies have explained how they cook meat for other family members and veggie for themselves, without having to cook two separate meals or it being a huge effort.

I’m veggie. My kids aren’t. I wouldn’t insist they become veggie because I cba to buy and cook meat.

Just manage the best you can for now, its probably a fad, they'll soon grow out of it

@VeganVeal

Just manage the best you can for now, its probably a fad, they'll soon grow out of it

Mine didn’t - over 30 years now.

@AlternativePerspective do you have teenagers? How would you stop them becoming vegan? I can see how a parent can win a battle of wills with a 9 or 10 year old. They would be upset, but no doubt they would eventually bow to your will if they felt hungry and unhappy enough. But the older they get the less likely you are to win. A 14 year old will most likely stick to their guns and, because you won't take account of their preferences and provide alternative sources of nutrients, they'll end up eating a bad diet, and also feeling resentful and angry.

Posters who are saying they would cooperate are just being realistic and ensuring that their child gets a decent diet. Unless you're planning to force feed, I don't see how you can ban vegetarian or vegan diets for teenagers.

And, having experienced a few battles of wills with teenagers, I'd be very wary of damaging my relationship with my children over something so small. It really isn't a gateway to kids ruling the house and being allowed to do what they want. It's picking your battles, respecting your dcs' views and allowing them to gradually develop autonomy so they're not plunged into adult decision-making at 18.

I agree that a vegan diet is more problematic, but if one of my children wanted to be vegan, I'd far rather they started it under my roof so I could encourage them to learn about what they need to eat, where to get essential nutrients, what to cook, etc.

It's "pander to their fads, make seperate dinners every day, do everything they want you to, or you are LAZY and your children will HATE YOU

Basically this. They are old enough to make their own meals anyway, no one should become a short order cook for their kids (no one but SAHP has time for that crap anyway)

Basically this. They are old enough to make their own meals anyway, no one should become a short order cook for their kids (no one but SAHP has time for that crap anyway)

Should DH refuse to shop and cook for me because I’m veggie and he’s not?

No one has said what they do for adult guests with dietary preferences. Interested to know if those who refuse to pander to their child’s fad also refuse to pander to guests or other adults...

People who melt down over the prospect of their dc not eating exactly what they want them to eat, when they want them to eat it, sound both oddly controlling and very insecure. If your house is going to collapse into hideous anarchy because one or more people living in it don't want to eat animals, you have major issues anyway that you really need to sort out. My mum was strict, famous for it to the extent that more than 20 years after me leaving school people from those days will still comment on it if we ever reunite, and when aged 10 I said to her that I wanted to be vegetarian she said "ok". She omitted meat and fish from meals for me, cooked a bit extra of whatever veg and carbs we were having with it, and encouraged me to learn to cook my own meals if I wanted something more exciting than that. It worked fine. I did not take over the house.

No one has said what they do for adult guests with dietary preferences. Interested to know if those who refuse to pander to their child’s fad also refuse to pander to guests or other adults

A one-off isn’t the same as doing this every day. What’s wrong with allowing the kids to cook for themselves?

If your house is going to collapse into hideous anarchy because one or more people living in it don't want to eat animals, you have major issues anyway that you really need to sort out

Major issues? This is yet another burden that will fall mostly on women. Unless they are a SAHP or do part-time work, it’s no small thing.

Let the kids do meal planning and cook for themselves. They are old enough to handle it anyway

@MangoFeverDream

It's "pander to their fads, make seperate dinners every day, do everything they want you to, or you are LAZY and your children will HATE YOU

Basically this. They are old enough to make their own meals anyway, no one should become a short order cook for their kids (no one but SAHP has time for that crap anyway)

I love my kids and I love cooking for them. (One veggie, one omniferous and unfussy meat pie fiend.) I find it bizarre that people have so little feeling for their kids that they DON'T cook for them. I spend an hour or so a day cooking the evening meal from scratch - which we all eat together round the kitchen table. Sometimes they help - they always set the table and clear up afterwards. How anyone can think of this as 'that crap' is baffling.

I can trust my eldest to eat a balanced diet but the younger one would live off instant noodles if we let her. Surely that's irrelevant thought because at 13 why would you let her?

You and DH can eat less meat / use meat substitute a few nights a week surely? Then cook stuff where you just differentiate at the end / have to cook them apart.

So spag bol make up the basic and put different minces in different pots. Sausages cook meat and veggie seperately etc.

If you insist on serving meat every night and they refused to eat it, what would your next step be?

A one-off isn’t the same as doing this every day. What’s wrong with allowing the kids to cook for themselves?
How does that work on a kitchen where Mom is already there cooking dinner for her and Dad? Not to mention that the older one esp had exams shortly so shouldn't be coming in from school, coming dinner with sibling around her Mom and then doing all the clearing up afterwards. Doing some of that some of the time is fine. Being entirely responsible for feeding yourself at 13 isn't.
And how does that work with food shopping? Should op give them an allowance so they can buy their own food, cupboards to store it separately? I mean they're 13 and 15, perhaps they should just move out.

@AlternativePerspective

Does this really have to evolve into competitive moralising?

It’s simple. If you aren’t a meat eater then you don’t have to cook vegetarian meals, just as if you’re a vegetarian you shouldn’t have to cook meat for your children, somehow I don’t think that the veggies on this thread would be suggesting that posters cook meat for their children and adapt by incorporating some meat into their diets if the situation were the other way around.

If my child wanted to become a vegetarian I would just not give him meat with roasts etc, if he wanted specific vegetarian meals he would have to cook them himself.

And I wouldn’t even engage with the idea of veganism. Veganism is not a healthy diet. Any diet which means you also have to take supplements is neither balanced nor healthy, but that aside, we have dairy, eggs, meat, fish etc at home and it’s virtually impossible to do vegan without serious adjustment, and I just wouldn’t go there. He could become a vegan when he was able to cook (and pay for) the food himself.

veganism is not a healthy diet

Funny how the World Health Association and British Dietetics Assoication disagree with you. But who cares. Why do they know? Oh and don’t forget the NHS and Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. But again, what would they possibly know about a healthy diet? Not like they’ve been to the university of Facebook or anything.

Funny how the World Health Association and British Dietetics Assoication disagree with you. But who cares. Why do they know? Oh and don’t forget the NHS and Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. But again, what would they possibly know about a healthy diet? Not like they’ve been to the university of Facebook or anything

Everyone knows these people are not up to date with the latest research, as someone has already pointed out on the thread

They don’t understand how insulin affects the body, or basic metabolism, which is why they are still insisting on a carb/protein/fat balance rather than cutting out carbs completely, and [insert pseudoscience here]

The minute someone indicates they know how insulin works, I know they know nothing about metabolism .