PIL wanting to break the rules at Christmas

[Trousersareoverrated]

PIL are planning to ignore the Covid rules over Christmas and see DHs siblings families indoors. The announced they are coming to ours for Boxing Day. I have said no way if we are still in tier 2. DH has been very good at sticking to the rules and the rest of his family haven’t been great. His dad is clinically vulnerable and I am pregnant so officially clinically vulnerable (although that is more of a precaution so I am not too worried).

AIBU? DH is very unhappy about not being able to see his family over Christmas and thinks that one day won’t matter. It’s only me who is saying no and he’s upset with me but will obviously respect my wishes.

@JauntyMcGinty

You're not getting this Vinyl. Not sure if you're wilfully ignoring it or just not very bright. You said you weren't breaking the rules. You are. You might not go anywhere but I'll bet my bottom dollar some of your kids do. It is frustrating for those of us whose lives are impacted by this virus, either healthwise or economically, when people don't think that rules, logic or sense don't apply to them.

Too many don'ts in the last sentence before the grammar police come down on me for cheap thrills

@JauntyMcGinty

You're not getting this Vinyl. Not sure if you're wilfully ignoring it or just not very bright. You said you weren't breaking the rules. You are. You might not go anywhere but I'll bet my bottom dollar some of your kids do. It is frustrating for those of us whose lives are impacted by this virus, either healthwise or economically, when people don't think that rules, logic or sense don't apply to them.

No, it’s you who’s not getting it which probably says as much about your intelligence as you’ve implied about mine.

If we see our kids over Christmas, we might be unfortunate enough to be infected with the virus. But who are we going to give it to if we don’t see anyone? The only people at risk are us. And we’re prepared to take it.

Honey it's not the end of the world when someone makes a typo or spells something wrong.

It could be the end of somebodies world when people decide that them having the Christmas they want, and never mind the implications that may have for others down the line.

We are in Tier 1 and we won't be seeing anyone if it stays that way. Presents will be posted. I don't care if the rules are relaxed for five days.

I just feel if you're calling someone stupid you should do it without spelling errors.

Yeah, probably, but we’re all human. Meanwhile, if your only comeback is on an autocorrect I didn’t pick up, then I’m not sure you’re on the strongest ground.

I do maintain it’s neither bright nor reasonable to claim it isn’t possible for people to stick to a three household bubble over Christmas.

It’s possible. It’s not easy or straightforward. It requires inconvenience, understanding on all sides (we didn’t wail about unfairness or being left out) and a large dollop of unselfishness.

Vinyl the poor healthcare workers who may need to help you on January most likely won't be seeing their extended family this Christmas.

Whatever happened to all being in this together

@VinylDetective

You said you weren't breaking the rules, you are and you haven't had the balls to admit it. It's very difficult to take anything else you say with any credibility.

You keep saying you're not seeing anyone. You're seeing each other. Your kids might give it to you. You might give it to another of your kids. They might pass it on to whoever else they're seeing. You keep saying that since you don't ordinarily see other people it's ok. I bet your kids see other people and aren't completely isolated normally. Anyone of you might be one of the people who is unlucky enough to be badly affected. That impacts on everyone. I'm bored now.

This thread is the perfect example of why the rules shouldn’t have been relaxed for Xmas. Not the OP who is being very sensible but so many others who will be happy to see 4 or 5 households, some of which will also be seeing 4 or 5 households, etc.

If we see our kids over Christmas, we might be unfortunate enough to be infected with the virus. But who are we going to give it to if we don’t see anyone? The only people at risk are us. And we’re prepared to take it.

And the possibility that if you get it you I got be ill enough to require hospital treatment, infect healthcare workers, take up an icu bed hasn’t crossed your mind?

@JacobReesMogadishu don't worry. Vinyl is healthy and doesn't need hospitals so nothing to worry about on that front.

Plus if people get it even if they don’t need hospital treatment it keeps the rates high, keeping tier levels high, restrictions in place. Which impacts others. Which causes businesses to go bust, people to lose jobs, kill themselves.

And everyone thinks that just them breaking the rules won’t make a difference. Problem is the stupidity of people who can’t see it isnt just them, it’s so many others as well. And collectively it makes a massive difference.

wow some people on here just don't get it do they? I have had to choose between kids grandparents this Christmas, how could we stick to the 3 household rule if not? the set we 'chose' has decided not to come anyway. we don't feel smug, we feel sad, but we are doing our best for everyone, why can't others do this instead of taking matters into their own hands and taking the uk in to further sh*t ffs.

So, of 4 adult children, 2 have partners. I would think it vanishingly unlikely that they have both forsaken their own parents, siblings, nieces, nephews and grandparents to only see their in-laws.

I have shed so many tears in the last couple of weeks that I can't see my family. I miss them so much. But then I give myself a kick up the bum and remember I'll see them after it's not so daft. So many won't see their families again. I also know that I want my kids to be in school and able to sit exams. I want the kids in the school I work in to continue to get the care so many of them desperately need. I want the job my DH has only kept by the skin of his teeth viable. And mostly I don't want to kill my aged vulnerable loved ones.

@hammeringinmyhead

So, of 4 adult children, 2 have partners. I would think it vanishingly unlikely that they have both forsaken their own parents, siblings, nieces, nephews and grandparents to only see their in-laws.

Exactly.

oh crap just realised my ils are probably going to be breaking it too. my adult daughter is coming to us thats it, so just 2 households. but in laws will be seeing an aged relative on the day. so thats 2 for them. so when they come to us n 27th without aged aunt doesn't that mean it will be have been 4 altogether? argh. serves me right for lecturing.

Can't remember who said something about their elderly relatives taking the risk, it's not only a risk to them is it? It's you plus everyone you come into contact with, school, work, shops. We know other people will be doing it but we can only control our own actions.

@VinylDetective

Food Shopping, dentist, haircuts, post office, bank, plumber

Food shopping - delivered
Dentist - no
Haircuts - no
Post office - no
Bank - that’s what online banking’s for
Plumber - no

We’re seeing three of our kids individually - one couple, one single, one family with a toddler and small baby. The hermit’s staying with us. After Christmas we won’t see anyone for weeks. No shopping, no work.

There’s the usual MN inability here to imagine that anyone’s life might be different to theirs.

You only mention your habits, not theirs. Are they all staying home with no interactions for two weeks?

@VinylDetective

“The hermit’s staying with us”

So which one is the hermit? Bloody hell, you must all be hermits if you all never go anywhere or have any contact with anyone ever.

I still struggle to believe you get ALL your shopping delivered and never even pop to the local shop.

And that your children are all doing the same, and their children aren’t in nursery? And your children’s partners aren’t seeing their families. Very convenient that they all have jobs where they stay at home all the time!

[quote CeibaTree]@PickAChew alright no need to be a douche bag, it wasn't entirely clear from the OP how many households were involved. But hope you feel pleased with your oh-so-amusing pithy one liner [/quote]
What a lovely insult that is. "Douche bag". Very nsulting to women.

You might want to think about that.

Hopeisnotastrategy Ok fair enough, it's kind of a joke insult I picked up from some American friends that was used to not be too insulting in not so serious circumstances. It just means don't be a jerk in colloquial terms - as I'm sure you can imagine, it is obviously not meant literally. I have no idea whether the poster I replied to is a man or woman btw.

I would have a system where its up to 3 households and if you want to break the rules you sign a waiver saying you won't use the NHS. Why is it fair to put the NHS staff at risk because you stamped your foot and threw your toys out of your pram about who you are seeing. (And obviously the costs but I value the staff more).

@PurpleMustang

I would have a system where its up to 3 households and if you want to break the rules you sign a waiver saying you won't use the NHS. Why is it fair to put the NHS staff at risk because you stamped your foot and threw your toys out of your pram about who you are seeing. (And obviously the costs but I value the staff more).

Sounds good to me. Where do I sign?