Page 2 | PIL wanting to break the rules at Christmas

Trousersareoverrated · 2020-12-04T22:28:47+00:00

PIL are planning to ignore the Covid rules over Christmas and see DHs siblings families indoors. The announced they are coming to ours for Boxing Day. I have said no way if we are still in tier 2. DH has been very good at sticking to the rules and the rest of his family haven’t been great. His dad is clinically vulnerable and I am pregnant so officially clinically vulnerable (although that is more of a precaution so I am not too worried). AIBU? DH is very unhappy about not being able to see his family over Christmas and thinks that one day won’t matter. It’s only me who is saying no and he’s upset with me but will obviously respect my wishes.

Original poster

Trousersareoverrated · 05/12/2020 08:46

I can’t see anything which says tier rules are obsolete and you cant mix outside of your 3 household bubble. Can anyone else?

OP posts:

Crustmasiscoming · 05/12/2020 08:51

I agree with PP's who have suggested going for a walk with them instead. No one has to break any rules then and you still get to see them.

Original poster

Trousersareoverrated · 05/12/2020 08:54

We can’t walk due to FILs medical condition but I have offered to arrange an outdoors meet up. I think they will say yes but are disappointed that they don’t get to spend a relaxed Boxing Day by the fire eating and watching their grandchildren with their Christmas presents. Which is understandable.

OP posts:

Di11y · 05/12/2020 08:54

Yes offer to go for a walk instead. That's what boxing day is all about in my opinion!

SimplyRadishing · 05/12/2020 08:55

I think YABU
The rules are arbitrary 3 households vs 4 makes no real difference.

But I think they are being unreasonable to invite themselves round though so.... 🤷‍♀️

Redlocks28 · 05/12/2020 08:56

@Trousersareoverrated

I can’t see anything which says tier rules are obsolete and you cant mix outside of your 3 household bubble. Can anyone else?

I think the Tier rules are paused for Christmas

PIL wanting to break the rules at Christmas

MiddleClassProblem · 05/12/2020 08:59

Of course the tiers aren’t in place for the 5 days. For those five days it’s the rules depending on if you are England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland. That’s why all the news articles list those specific places and don’t mention tiers.

It’s so people can visit from any tier or one of the countries for those 5 days but stick to the 3 house hold bubbles. It’s U.K. wide.

The point is that tier 1 is likely to be infiltrated by some people from other tiers over those 5 days so tier 1 is more at risk from getting more cases anyway.

Tiers/rules are likely to change again after Christmas/for January after mass mixing and then it’ll just be a race against the vaccine vs rules needed.

Mamagotskills · 05/12/2020 09:01

Also just to point out it’s exclusive max of 3 households so are BIL/SIL not seeing anyone else either? PP is correct, tier rules are superseded by the Christmas bubble

Original poster

Trousersareoverrated · 05/12/2020 09:02

Oh ok, so they can’t even come in tier 1 then. It wouldn’t be a 4 household bubble vs 3- we have 1 other household in our Christmas bubble. Plus PIL might only see 2 other households but those 2 other households have plans to see other people indoors too.

So those saying I am BU - should I just let them come and ignore the Christmas bubble rules?

OP posts:

Creatingausername · 05/12/2020 09:02

Op here is the link. It is under the first heading meeting friends and family
www.gov.uk/guidance/guidance-for-the-christmas-period

MiddleClassProblem · 05/12/2020 09:07

Yeah, it sounds like they are not following it at all. It’s 3 households full stop so people from those 3 households can’t be indoors with people from any other household over those 5 days. Unless they are say a plumber/cleaner/carer etc obvs.

Heyahun · 05/12/2020 09:16

Oh gawd the day they want/are looking forward To - sitting by the fire all day with the kids - is the most dangerous high risk thing they can do - a hot, unventilated room all stuffed in together - perfect environment to spread the bloody virus - you are right to jot have it

lockdownalli · 05/12/2020 09:20

YANBU

I wouldn't have them on Boxing Day either OP.

If you do have an outdoor meet up, make it near their home rather than yours. Otherwise FIL will need the loo and have to go to your house, and then he will have been in anyway so might as well sit down and out his feet up.........

Lalliella · 05/12/2020 09:21

PPs are wrong about the tiers being suspended over Christmas - they still apply to meeting people outside your bubble, see 2.3 of this: www.gov.uk/government/publications/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family

What your PIL are suggesting is definitely wrong. YANBU to say no, and anyone thinking badly of you IBVU.

Lemons1571 · 05/12/2020 09:21

@Trousersareoverrated

We can’t walk due to FILs medical condition but I have offered to arrange an outdoors meet up. I think they will say yes but are disappointed that they don’t get to spend a relaxed Boxing Day by the fire eating and watching their grandchildren with their Christmas presents. Which is understandable.

See I don’t think it’s understandable at all. Haven’t they managed to grasp that there’s a pandemic and it would be safer for their pregnant DIL to skip mixing this year?

I honestly think a lot of people assume that the 5 day period of mixing is somehow safe as it’s government endorsed. I also think that loads of people haven’t grasped that it’s 3 households in total, not 3 at any one time.

I’d offer to meet outside too, a walk and takeaway coffee on Boxing Day for some fresh air. Can they grasp that this is safer, and that by visiting you after all their mixing, they would be putting you at risk?

Lalliella · 05/12/2020 09:21

So in tier 1 they could’ve come.

Honeyhoops · 05/12/2020 09:24

@Trousersareoverrated

I'd do whatever you feel comfortable with using your own judgement. I'm not following the rules (Christmas or tier based) and will be seeing all the family we usually see (I'm in a tier 3 area but obviously the tiers don't apply over the 5 days).

We will probably mix with 7 other households in total over Christmas. One of those are very elderly and in poor health it could be their last Christmas, if they want to come to us on Christmas day, as they have for the last 14 years, I will not say they can't just to stick to "the rules".

Honeyhoops · 05/12/2020 09:29

I've no idea how many other households those we will meet up with will also mix with. I don't think it will be possible for many families to stick to the 3 or 4 total households.

MiddleClassProblem · 05/12/2020 09:30

@Lalliella

PPs are wrong about the tiers being suspended over Christmas - they still apply to meeting people outside your bubble, see 2.3 of this: www.gov.uk/government/publications/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family

What your PIL are suggesting is definitely wrong. YANBU to say no, and anyone thinking badly of you IBVU.

Not really. Tier one can hang out rule of 6 exclusively with tier one but no one else can. Op isn’t in tier 1 so it doesn’t matter what tier anyone else is. Sure some tier rules like meeting outside still apply but again, not what the rule is about.

I think it’s likely that tier 1 will be very tightly monitored for the two weeks after and bloody lucky if their rules don’t change.

At the end of the day, protect yourself how you see fit OP.

user1487194234 · 05/12/2020 09:31

You need to speak to your DH
Hopefully he will agree with you and he can then tell his parents they can't come

JauntyMcGinty · 05/12/2020 09:32

Another vote for seeing them on 23rd or 24th. Then no additional risk to you and their rule breaking is on them only.

People who are so disappointed that they can't see family as normal need to get a grip. I haven't seen my family since July, I miss them terribly but at least I'll get to see them again, this is all to stop some people never getting to see their families again.

user1487194234 · 05/12/2020 09:33

I will be seeing my family and can't wait but that is my choice
We shall be within the rules but to be honest I would have seen them anyway

JauntyMcGinty · 05/12/2020 09:33

@Honeyhoops

I've no idea how many other households those we will meet up with will also mix with. I don't think it will be possible for many families to stick to the 3 or 4 total households.

It is possible. You just say no. Done.

VinylDetective · 05/12/2020 09:33

It’s completely up to you what you do @Trousersareoverrated but I find it ironic that those happiest to bend the rules are those at most risk in this scenario. Usually those most affected choose the level of risk they’re comfortable with.

With the suspension or pause of the tiers - which may well change on 16 December anyway - surely it doesn’t make much difference whether three or four households mix? There’s no evidence base for these figures anyway, they’ve been plucked out of the air.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 05/12/2020 09:37

I honestly think a lot of people assume that the 5 day period of mixing is somehow safe as it’s government endorsed. I also think that loads of people haven’t grasped that it’s 3 households in total, not 3 at any one time

I know, it’s as though many think the virus has granted a five day absence and won’t infect anyone

Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. We won’t be helping it spread or taking the risk. I suspect there may be quite a few regrets after when people infect loved ones as most can’t self isolate for two weeks forts.

Workplaces and schools will not be looking forward to January after all the mixing and rule breaking.

Given the vaccines are so close, the decision to let people mix so freely and for so long seems to go against everything we have been working towards.