PIL wanting to break the rules at Christmas

[Trousersareoverrated]

PIL are planning to ignore the Covid rules over Christmas and see DHs siblings families indoors. The announced they are coming to ours for Boxing Day. I have said no way if we are still in tier 2. DH has been very good at sticking to the rules and the rest of his family haven’t been great. His dad is clinically vulnerable and I am pregnant so officially clinically vulnerable (although that is more of a precaution so I am not too worried).

AIBU? DH is very unhappy about not being able to see his family over Christmas and thinks that one day won’t matter. It’s only me who is saying no and he’s upset with me but will obviously respect my wishes.

@VinylDetective if your kids are only seeing the bubble you describe, then fine. It is when people are going outside of bubbles the problems arise. It doesn't work. Too many overlapping bubbles just becomes a free for all. That is what is selfish.

I don't think it will be possible for many families to stick to the 3 or 4 total households.

😂😂😂

‘Not possible’. Oh dear. We shouldn’t use words we don’t understand.

Inconvenient? Sure. Socially difficult, and with potential for hurt feelings? Definitely.

We are going to spend Christmas just our household, not because that’s how we want to spend it but we recognise that PIL are already in a childcare bubble with SIL and her family; SIL’s husband lost his dad this year so his mum’s household makes the third member of the Christmas bubble. His need is greater than ours.

Does it suck that my kids won’t see any grandparents at Christmas? For sure. Is it ‘impossible’? No, because were not fucking stupid.

[quote JauntyMcGinty]@VinylDetective that is not true, and completely illogical. Unless you possess some magic powers which mean you can neither spread it nor catch it, then everything any if us do affects everyone else. We all go to the same hospitals. We all are part of the same economy. If you have been so careful, why blow it now. Lockdown in January and February is going to be grim, and worsened the bigger Christmas celebrations are. I dread the economic impact on people's lives. Honestly, I think you're being selfish [/quote]
I know and it will be mainly those that have mixed who will be complaining their free childcare has gone and everything closed.

I am really hoping for a U turn and back to lockdown for the Christmas/new year holidays so that January is not quite so bleak and people can have the vaccine before it’s too late.

People getting offended over who won’t be spending Christmas with them need to get a bloody grip.

We’re spending Christmas just us. We were invited to my parents as was my auntie who is single but as DS is working over Christmas we said no. And then it turned out my aunt was relieved because she almost didn’t come for fear of passing something to me (I’m high risk.)

And it certainly is possible not to see more than three households. people just choose not to stick to the rules.

But hey have a lovely Christmas Day celebrating the January lockdown.

And for anyone who thinks this is all something of nothing go and watch “surviving COVID on all4. It’s quite hard hitting viewing but this is the reality. And one of the patient’s wife said that in the beginning they thought it was nothing to be afraid of, only certain people were catching it and she thought that it was being made too big a deal of. Of the patients who were followed, he was the one who died.

There were others, a 52 year old who left hospital with severe care needs, another one who spent four months in a coma,

But hey merry Christmas, and as long as it isn’t you who catches it then you don’t need to give a shit right?

@JauntyMcGinty, you think I’m being selfish because I’m obeying the rules? Seriously? Three households, plus a single person who’s allowed to bubble with us permanently?

We don’t go to hospitals, we don’t go anywhere where there are crowds of people - who are we going to be a danger to other than ourselves?

[quote VinylDetective]@JauntyMcGinty, you think I’m being selfish because I’m obeying the rules? Seriously? Three households, plus a single person who’s allowed to bubble with us permanently?

We don’t go to hospitals, we don’t go anywhere where there are crowds of people - who are we going to be a danger to other than ourselves?[/quote]
Do your 3 adult children live together? If not 3 households plus you is 4.

The announced they are coming to ours for Boxing Day

Well, they wouldn’t be coming to mine. First of all, I hate CF who invite themselves to other people’s houses. Second, if they want to be breaking the rules, I can’t stop them. But I CAN stop them from getting me involved in their shenanigans.

And as for your DH being unhappy about not being able to see his family at Christmas, he needs to grow up. I never understand when adults who have their own children, wives, partners etc come out with this.

Do your 3 adult children live together? If not 3 households plus you is 4.

Once again - slowly this time - who are we going to be a danger to other than ourselves? Particularly since this arbitrary three households has been plucked from thin air at random.

Actually I suspect the three households has been designed in order to deter a lot of people from getting together at all.

I think they wanted to stay closed for Christmas but because there was pressure being put on them to give people something to look forward to they brought in this measure, that way the majority of people would either not mix at all or would stick only with three households.

@VinylDetective

Do your 3 adult children live together? If not 3 households plus you is 4.

Once again - slowly this time - who are we going to be a danger to other than ourselves? Particularly since this arbitrary three households has been plucked from thin air at random.

Jeezo. I'm going to assume they don't all live together because you didn't answer. That makes 4 households. Plus anyone else your adult kids see. You are breaking the rules. You might think it's only a small break of the rules, guess what, if everyone said that we'd be in trouble.

Also, "we don't use hospitals". Hahahahaha.

What’s so funny about not using hospitals? We’re healthy. You’re being totally ridiculous @JauntyMcGinty. You still can’t or won’t tell me what risk we present to other people when we don’t see any.

[quote Honeyhoops]@lazyarse123

My elderly relatives are 90 years old and had the shielding letters. I visited in March before lockdown and tried to insist they stay in and said I would do their shopping. They refused and have been going shopping, out on the bus etc. throughout.

They feel at their ages and with their health as it is they would rather take their chances than be stuck inside. They said they've had a good, long life and if they got Covid and died then so be it, they'd rather enjoy the time they have left. [/quote]
My mum and in-laws are the same. They don’t want to spend this year of their lives cooped up and not seeing anyone, despite the risks, and I respect their decision. We’re a greater risk to them than they are to us, with our DS at primary school, and if they’re willing to run that risk to have a family Christmas I feel like it would be a cruel and sanctimonious move on our part to say no just for the sake of following the rules.

We won’t actually be breaking the Christmas rules but we had already decided we would go to stay with them whatever the rules were.

[quote VinylDetective]@JauntyMcGinty, you think I’m being selfish because I’m obeying the rules? Seriously? Three households, plus a single person who’s allowed to bubble with us permanently?

We don’t go to hospitals, we don’t go anywhere where there are crowds of people - who are we going to be a danger to other than ourselves?[/quote]
But you’re not obeying the rules are you? You’re seeing one too many household so you can’t take the moral high ground!

Your point about not going out anywhere else is irrelevant. And the point about not using hospitals is ridiculous! Unless you have a crystal ball how can you possibly know when you may need a hospital?!

Your quote below shows that you are equally as selfish as honeyhoops as you just do not seem to seethe bigger picture at all. Unless you live on your own island and have no contact with the rest of the world, your actions will impact on others.

“The risk to you is from people going to work and school, going to pubs and shops and travelling on public transport. We’ve done none of those things.”

@VinylDetective the risk present is: the more people you see (especially in an indoors, unventilated space) the more chance of getting or giving the virus. Statistically some people will end up needing medical care. I don't know if you know anyone working with COVID patients. I do. It's horrendous. Additionally, the more people that get it then have to isolate, as do any of their close contacts. This affects the economy. It stops kids going to school (bad for many reasons). Even healthy people sometimes need the NHS. I'm going to guess at some point someone you know, or even you, gets ill or has an accident.

Your point about not going out anywhere else is irrelevant

On the contrary, it’s the essence of relevance. In order to infect other people with a virus you have to a) be infected b) come into contact with them. If you don’t see anyone else, you can’t infect them. We might as well live on a deserted island for all the contact we normally have with other people.

Your insistence on being right defies all logic.

If you don’t see anyone else, you can’t infect them.

Quite. Hence sticking to the rules. Are your adult children only seeing you and their siblings? Is your bubble (albeit too big) closed? I'm guessing no, because you've not said otherwise in which case your entire logic goes out the window.

Vinyl if you are all isolating (and I mean no supermarkets, work etc) then there is very little risk.

You are very fortunate if you are all in the position as the vast majority of families are not.

The person above who was going to mix with 7 other households definitely wasn't isolating. She was not prepared to limit her behaviour over Xmas or afterwards even though there is a chance that the mixing could result in someone or many losing their life to Covid.

@VinylDetective

Your point about not going out anywhere else is irrelevant

On the contrary, it’s the essence of relevance. In order to infect other people with a virus you have to a) be infected b) come into contact with them. If you don’t see anyone else, you can’t infect them. We might as well live on a deserted island for all the contact we normally have with other people.

Your insistence on being right defies all logic.

You’ll have to let me into your secret as to how you go about your life having no contact with anyone, especially planning for Christmas?

Food Shopping, dentist, haircuts, post office, bank, plumber - that’s just a snapshot of our life over the past few weeks- and we are being careful and minimising our contacts.

I’m not saying I’m right, but I do work on a hospital ward and believe me, we will definitely be having a quiet one with our kids this year, because I don’t want to be adding to the chaos that’s already happening.

[quote VinylDetective]@JauntyMcGinty, you think I’m being selfish because I’m obeying the rules? Seriously? Three households, plus a single person who’s allowed to bubble with us permanently?

We don’t go to hospitals, we don’t go anywhere where there are crowds of people - who are we going to be a danger to other than ourselves?[/quote]
So none of you will be leaving the house for two weeks after? No shopping, no work etc?

@JassyRadlett

It's we're, not were.

Ah @Honeyhoops, you spotted a typo! ⭐️ for you.

Keep looking for typos and autocorrects, you never know, someone might give you a certificate.

Food Shopping, dentist, haircuts, post office, bank, plumber

Food shopping - delivered
Dentist - no
Haircuts - no
Post office - no
Bank - that’s what online banking’s for
Plumber - no

We’re seeing three of our kids individually - one couple, one single, one family with a toddler and small baby. The hermit’s staying with us. After Christmas we won’t see anyone for weeks. No shopping, no work.

There’s the usual MN inability here to imagine that anyone’s life might be different to theirs.

@VinylDetective

Food Shopping, dentist, haircuts, post office, bank, plumber

Food shopping - delivered
Dentist - no
Haircuts - no
Post office - no
Bank - that’s what online banking’s for
Plumber - no

We’re seeing three of our kids individually - one couple, one single, one family with a toddler and small baby. The hermit’s staying with us. After Christmas we won’t see anyone for weeks. No shopping, no work.

There’s the usual MN inability here to imagine that anyone’s life might be different to theirs.

I’m quite surprised your whole family are all living like this but maybe they are all able to work from home to as are their partners.

I’m not sure what the tier 3 rules are but could single adult not form a bubble with you anyway being one household?

You're not getting this Vinyl. Not sure if you're wilfully ignoring it or just not very bright. You said you weren't breaking the rules. You are. You might not go anywhere but I'll bet my bottom dollar some of your kids do. It is frustrating for those of us whose lives are impacted by this virus, either healthwise or economically, when people don't think that rules, logic or sense don't apply to them.

@JassyRadlett

I just feel if you're calling someone stupid you should do it without spelling errors.