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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu or is this discrimination? Mask exemption

278 replies

Lowhangingfruit · 04/12/2020 16:37

Got challenged in a pub about not wearing a mask. I have an exemption card, she said it wasn't a big deal just wear one. It's our policy. Then 2 people walk in not wearing masks and walk around and she didn't say a word to them??? So aibu to be pissed off.

OP posts:
oblada · 05/12/2020 16:55

'Mild' not milk...

Hellotheresweet · 05/12/2020 17:05

I read these kind of altercations involving an OP and a bar maid / a restaurant owner / a shop assistant and my first thought is...

They were doing their job
The OP responded confrontationally / rudely / aggressively
And it escalates

Whereas for most grown assed adults who know how to respond appropriately, the interaction would go along the lines of

“Please could you put on a mask”
“Oh sorry I should have made a point of showing you my exemption card when I came in, here it is, unfortunately I can’t wear one”
“Ah ok, understood. Sorry to have put you on the spot”

LangClegsInSpace · 05/12/2020 17:11

You can be mask exempt and not disabled in some limited cases I am sure.

Yes, e.g. someone recovering from facial injury/surgery or suffering from pregnancy-related sickness. These conditions would not be expected to last 12 months so they would not meet the definition of a disability.

Hayeahnobut · 05/12/2020 17:16

Yes, e.g. someone recovering from facial injury/surgery or suffering from pregnancy-related sickness.

I agree that short term conditions would not meet the definition of a disability, but the latter would be covered under maternity discrimination.

Sockwomble · 05/12/2020 17:19

"They were doing their job
The OP responded confrontationally / rudely / aggressively
And it escalates"

Or perhaps the bar maid/ restaurant owner/ shop worker was the rude/ confrontational/aggressive one.

Hellotheresweet · 05/12/2020 17:28

@Sockwomble

"They were doing their job The OP responded confrontationally / rudely / aggressively And it escalates"

Or perhaps the bar maid/ restaurant owner/ shop worker was the rude/ confrontational/aggressive one.

Usually safe to assume it’s the customer and not the business owner or employee being the rude one.

Of course exceptions but generally speaking

LangClegsInSpace · 05/12/2020 17:29

Hellotheresweet maybe you should read a bit more carefully then.

Nothing in OP's posts suggests that she behaved confrontationally, rudely or aggressively.

From OP's posts it went more like this:

“Please could you put on a mask”
“I'm exempt because I'm unable to wear one. I have an exemption card.”
“We don't recognise the mask exemption card. It's our policy. Just wear one, it's not a big deal.”

Hellotheresweet · 05/12/2020 17:33

@LangClegsInSpace

Hellotheresweet maybe you should read a bit more carefully then.

Nothing in OP's posts suggests that she behaved confrontationally, rudely or aggressively.

From OP's posts it went more like this:

“Please could you put on a mask”
“I'm exempt because I'm unable to wear one. I have an exemption card.”
“We don't recognise the mask exemption card. It's our policy. Just wear one, it's not a big deal.”

Yes I read that. The OP is hardly the most subjective is she? I suspect we would all have a rather different interpretation of the interaction had we witnessed first hand
LangClegsInSpace · 05/12/2020 17:38

You're just basically saying she's lying then?

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 05/12/2020 17:38

If you want to make stuff up hello why stop there?

You’re even less subjective!

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 05/12/2020 17:39

Yes lang

Projection maybe?

MotherForker · 05/12/2020 18:16

I have a disability (an invisible one) but I don't have proof of it that I could carry around. Neither should have to share my private medical information with random strangers.

Exemption cards can be printed off by anyone, so how do they help? The law is clear that you don't have to show any proof.

berrygirlie · 05/12/2020 20:47

My friend wears one of the sunflower lanyards, I do not. Both is a choice, and both is fine (for her it just cuts the questioning / perceived judgement down more quickly).

Given the lack of empathy to disabled people on this thread in several examples, I do not want to wear a lanyard because I would feel less safe to do so. I will respond with; "I'm exempt" if asked in a shop but that's all the information I need to provide or demonstrate. I don't know if anyone remembers the goady "No one should have kids because of global warming" thread a few months ago that got taken down, but there were people discussing the benefits of eugenics on there and some of the things I've read here remind me of that.

Disabled people, and non-mask wearers are not the enemy and if you are "inconvenienced" by them, try and understand the inconvenience experienced by them both with their disability / condition and the societal judgement put upon them because I guarantee it's worse.

FlatFace · 05/12/2020 22:09

My son’s school doesn’t allow anyone on the premises without a mask. People that are exempt collect their children from the main gate.

Original poster
Lowhangingfruit · 06/12/2020 11:15

@manicinsomniac

Ok, thanks foxy I take back the red herring comment then.
Maybe an apology to me seeing as you though I was a troll?
OP posts:
Original poster
Lowhangingfruit · 06/12/2020 11:20

@Hellotheresweet

I read these kind of altercations involving an OP and a bar maid / a restaurant owner / a shop assistant and my first thought is...

They were doing their job
The OP responded confrontationally / rudely / aggressively
And it escalates

Whereas for most grown assed adults who know how to respond appropriately, the interaction would go along the lines of

“Please could you put on a mask”
“Oh sorry I should have made a point of showing you my exemption card when I came in, here it is, unfortunately I can’t wear one”
“Ah ok, understood. Sorry to have put you on the spot”

I was not being aggressive. I simply stated I have an exemption card I can show you. I have worked in customer services for years I know what an aggressive wanker customer ism so I don't be one. But when I get a response to get over it. Then she doesn't practise what she preaches to me. I got pissed off. But I didn't swear, raise my voice or scream etc. Sounds like you are one of those think and decide before looking at the facts.
OP posts:
Original poster
Lowhangingfruit · 06/12/2020 11:23

@berrygirlie

My friend wears one of the sunflower lanyards, I do not. Both is a choice, and both is fine (for her it just cuts the questioning / perceived judgement down more quickly).

Given the lack of empathy to disabled people on this thread in several examples, I do not want to wear a lanyard because I would feel less safe to do so. I will respond with; "I'm exempt" if asked in a shop but that's all the information I need to provide or demonstrate. I don't know if anyone remembers the goady "No one should have kids because of global warming" thread a few months ago that got taken down, but there were people discussing the benefits of eugenics on there and some of the things I've read here remind me of that.

Disabled people, and non-mask wearers are not the enemy and if you are "inconvenienced" by them, try and understand the inconvenience experienced by them both with their disability / condition and the societal judgement put upon them because I guarantee it's worse.

Yes I have that layrnyard and I hate wearing it makes me feel vulnerable and getting started at. But it does help sometimes in shops. But the buses are another issue.
OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/12/2020 11:49

IMO it should be mandatory to carry a card if you are exempt. It’s far too easy just to say you’re exempt if you CBA or just don’t like wearing one. Who on earth does?

In my local corner shop it’s rare to see anyone but me and the bloke behind the till wearing a mask. Nobody ever says anything. I simply can’t believe that all those mask-less shoppers are genuinely exempt.

80sColourfulChristmas · 06/12/2020 11:53

@Moondust001 No she isn't right to only allow in people who wear masks. That is unlawful discrimination

Unfortunately this is incorrect. I have experienced the same and so I contacted all the relevant authorities and unless the business refused entry on the basis of the person's actual disability then they CAN refuse entry. It's all down to them saying it's BECAUSE of their disability. Yes, you're exempt because of disability but unless they say "we are refusing entry because of your disability" or words to that effect then it's not discrimination. It's fucked up I agree but that's the law.
Ultimately it's the business owner's decision on who comes in.
This was told to me by the Equality Commission

80sColourfulChristmas · 06/12/2020 12:49

@Penners99

A friend owns a shop in a small village. He was TOLD by some customers that when masks become mandatory that they would not be wearing them and there was nothing my friend could do about it.

When they became mandatory (July), he simply closed the shop!

Only shop in the village, no bus service to anywhere else. 12 miles to next shop.

Village was up in arms and even tried to get police involved.

Shop still closed and probably will never reopen.

My friend does not like being dictated to.

I'm totally on his side. However he's cut his nose off to spite his face there.....
MotherForker · 06/12/2020 16:31

Maybe it should be mandatory to carry a card for people who are discriminatory twats.

Compulsory card carrying was what the Jews had to do in Germany before the yellow stars. To prove who they were. Give your head a wobble.

oblada · 06/12/2020 17:16

[quote 80sColourfulChristmas]**@Moondust001* No she isn't right to only allow in people who wear masks. That is unlawful discrimination*

Unfortunately this is incorrect. I have experienced the same and so I contacted all the relevant authorities and unless the business refused entry on the basis of the person's actual disability then they CAN refuse entry. It's all down to them saying it's BECAUSE of their disability. Yes, you're exempt because of disability but unless they say "we are refusing entry because of your disability" or words to that effect then it's not discrimination. It's fucked up I agree but that's the law.
Ultimately it's the business owner's decision on who comes in.
This was told to me by the Equality Commission
[/quote]
Have you consulted a solicitor on this? This doesn't seem like accurate advice. You're referencing direct discrimination here but the issue would be indirect discrimination and failure to make reasonable adjustment.

Macncheeseballs · 06/12/2020 17:24

Cant you just wrap a scarf around your face for the 2 minutes it takes to walk to the toilet and then no-one will harrass you

MotherForker · 06/12/2020 17:25

@Macncheeseballs if she could wrap a scarf around her face for 2 mins, she wouldn't be exempt.

Original poster
Lowhangingfruit · 06/12/2020 19:26

@Macncheeseballs

Cant you just wrap a scarf around your face for the 2 minutes it takes to walk to the toilet and then no-one will harrass you
If I could I would. Maybe you just should walk a minute in the shoes of a rape victim, wheel chair user, and everything else before this...
OP posts: