... things I've learned from mumsnet (mostly serious!)

[MakingAComment]

I read MN for many years. I've never really asked any questions myself, but from reading posts from others I've learned some things that helped me in real life. My specific examples are

1. lovebombing is something I'd never of. However, reading here I saw so many threads, got a good picture of it, and it did help me in alerting me to something.

1. fertility and related challenges are a big deal for some people. Reading through the related forums it helped seeing stories, challenges, advice from others

Of course there is a lot of fun/amusing posts too, but it's been useful to me in a much more serious way

Also transvestism is nothing to do with transgender and conflating the two is plain inaccurate.

That a depressing number of women call themselves feminists and yet include any man as a woman who says he is. That lots of men just don't want women to have anything for themselves.

That loads has changed since I had my children 20 years ago.

That bringing up adopted children is much more complex than I realised.

That anyone on mn who earns a decent salary is automatically lying. There are people in the world who's household income is less than mine and some more. Shock!

Re public loos and sitting/hovering I don't want to have wet legs no matter the liquid. Also I have know idea if my friends hover or not in rl and don't care.

Also, that a lot of people just cannot change their view even when presented with facts. I used to naively believe that if you explained why someone was wrong they would accept it.

I change my view when I understand more.

Not everyone it seems. A lot will just stubbornly disbelieve, call you a liar, and say “well I still think...”, like facts don’t exist.

Also transvestism is nothing to do with transgender and conflating the two is plain inaccurate

You’d better tell Stonewall that. They place them both firmly under the trans umbrella. How does it feel to have Stonewall tell you you are a bigot conclude ?

The importance of saving into a pension. Mumsnet was also the place where I learned about stocks and shares ISAs, I didn't understand investments at all and thought it was beyond me.....it wasn't. The Money Matters board has been extremely helpful.

Actually yes, I didn't know you could/ needed to get NI contribution credits if you're not working due to looking after baby/young child, and that you still need to claim Child Benefit even if you don't receive it. So thanks vvvvv much Mumsnet for that!
www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/protecting-your-state-pension-when-you-have-a-baby

What are "flying monkeys" please?

I’ve only been on for a little while so not been on too many threads, but what has shocked me the most is how much people refuse to see the bigger picture of a story because it doesn’t fit their own narrative.

Also, I’m shocked by women proudly slut shaming on here, and being completely unrepentant about it. So disappointing to see women with those attitudes towards other women.

How people are willing to take advice from complete strangers on the Internet. How can this be so addictive, useful and accepted?

But I do! I'm guilty too!

Also : how indecisive people are.

How many men are utter cunts, scuse my French

How women are moulded to please, beguile and behave. As someone said in another thread, came for the baby advice, stayed for the feminism

Also, I know that all news is subjective and may have a bias to it, but nowadays I get most of my news info from mumsnet. If anything major has happened, there'll be a thread on it.

@grassisjeweled

Like I said I’m new, but I haven’t seen that yet! I was active on one thread where another poster said women who have casual sex have low standards, mental health issues, have been abused, or have no morals, and barely anyone was shocked at that! It actually made me question the people who use MN!

Oooh where to start...

• If a man breathes in and out on a date .. It's a red flag 😂

• If a guy has an affair the wife's told to get all the financial paper work together to get a good settlement.

-If someone starts a thread saying they know someone having an affair, and should they tell the wife.... It becomes a different matter, many believe the wife shouldn't be told.
Bit unfair that, as the wife could have been getting her paperwork in order 🤔

• Nobody should meet a guy, date, get married have kids because they love them... It's more about getting your name on everything, and love doesn't feature.

• Everyone is a HR manager/ employee

• So many live rurally it's amazing! 😲

-People get offended about sooo much, even the tiniest, and unimportant matters

-Its weird how somebody can be dealing with all manner of crap, have major illness or accidents... Instead of logging on to MN call a Solicitor, GP or ambulance! Nobody should need telling.

I was aware of certain objects / jobs / accents being a marker of class but am now aware of so many more indicators that I am being judged on. My decor, the words I use for certain nouns, my car, the way I dress, the way my children dress.

Being aware of those things made me question my own choices and try to aspire to be more MC (I have a typical MC job but come from a typical WC background) but I have come to the conclusion that I am just going to do and buy, what I want and it will filter out the worst offenders of snobbery and that will be a positive thing.

That someone ringing your doorbell or ringing your phone is a complete and utter invasion of privacy and the worst thing ever.
Luckily there is no-one I know in RL who feels like this.

That there are so many people out there who are so mortally offended by the tiniest things that should wouldn't feature on my radar apart from two seconds of irritation, then immediately forgotten.
But that some people start a thread on this tiny non thing because they are so aggrieved.

@EddyF

I don’t think I have ever sat on a public toilet seat even as a child. I am always armed with tissues so that I do not touch the flasher or door handles.

Even at friends and family homes, I will not sit on the toilet seat. I will normally use a anti bac spray and wrap the seat with heavy toilet paper.

Public toilets it’s straight to hoovering and out ASAP.

Amen sister! 👌

Have learned sooo much from Mumsnet. Everyday life hacks, relationships and boundaries, health conditions, parenting, how to be more assertive and deal with CFs. If there's something I search old mumsnet posts. Some very wise posters. I definitely have lots more common sense now

*something I want to know

Nobody should meet a guy, date, get married have kids because they love them... It's more about getting your name on everything, and love doesn't feature.

I don't recognise this at all. I think Mumsnet does tell people to look at a partner for their quality as a dependable partner as well as whether you are infatuated by them, which is sound advice. Too many people knowingly bring children into awful relationships.

That you can appeal
Against a csa decision.