My friend is a dick or am I jealous?

[Kellyslab]

My friend is going to soon become my ex friend for many many reasons. However I want to know if I am being jealous (I don’t feel that emotion) or if she’s just an arsehole?

She had to move her wedding to next year due to Covid so changed venue. Picked a really expensive (think £1k a night hotel room cheapest) venue. It is stunning. As a result they uninvited a lot of people, they said this was due to cost. The people uninvited include people that paid to go on her hen do (wasn’t cheap!) and can’t get their money back. She has still invited other friends she has become closer to in the past few months (purely due to moving house and change of location but we’ve all known each other through work for 5 years) so it’s not just a numbers issue IYSWIM.

They are from rich families which they love to show off. They were gifted around 50k from parents for the wedding, they also just bought a house for £600k (gifted deposit). Both high earners. Suddenly though they want to uninvite people from the wedding due to cost and they also have made bridesmaids now pay for their dresses due to money.

Now this is the AIBU, they have done this with the excuse of money whilst simultaneously posting to Instagram their brand new expensive handbag (over a grand) and their new £50k Chelsea Tractor. Especially in these times I just find it highly insensitive??? Also so disrespectful to the people who have been uninvited due to “money” yet they’re advertising their wealth?

just to add - I haven’t been uninvited (yet...) and earn the same as her. However don’t come from a rich background and wasn’t privately educated which is a big deal to them.

I can’t think of anything more rude than inviting guests to a £1K per night venue and not covering their accommodation. What planet is the bride on??

OP I think you now she is not really a good friend. She is using you to deal with the fall out of her bloody crazy decisions. I am going to theorize now, which I accept is totally unscientific based on a few internet posts!

1. I grew up in a very rich area to academic but poor parents. I am a lot older than you but it certainly had a lasting impact through my 20s. I also dated someone v down to earth but with millionaire parents. It is modelled as 'normal' but really it is not. The just wanting to fit in is totally normal. Ironically I now work in child protection and trying to explain the children's circumstances to people who have been largely protected from poverty of wealth/education/good parenting is as much of an uphill struggle.

2. I suspect your friend is a spoiled 'little princess'. If truly wealthy there would be no question of friends being expected to pay so much. She is getting others to pay for a day she cannot afford. Exclusive venues basically depend on the rooms being sold. She has signed up for a package and is offsetting the costs to her guests assuming they will all be happy to pay.

OP,
You know longer work together, thank goodness so there really is no need to see her again.

No longer!