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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have judged? Awh feckit. Yes I judged, I VERY judged.

317 replies

Farkinell · 03/12/2020 21:52

Was in slow moving traffic today.

Big fuck off black BMW (suv/mpv/hpv??? who the eff knows) was coming towards me on other side of road.

Saw what I thought was a TV monitor in front passenger seat angled forwards.

Strange, I thought. Surely a passenger would be holding it and it would be facing backwards??

But LO! It was angled towards the passenger. Confused

A teeny baby in the carry part of travel system, backwards facing.

A tablet set up, plating a cartoon for a young baby to watch in the car.

Just

Goodness

Gracious.

Let's get them Oblong Addicted early, yeah?

OP posts:
Macncheeseballs · 04/12/2020 22:27

Ironing - fair enough, but we all deal with these stressful childcare moments differently, that's your way of dealing with it, not mine

Pegase · 04/12/2020 22:30

Agreed the evidence is not yet as robust as it should be and, as is very often the case, there is not yet consensus in the scientific community. However the WHO and AAP
both do consider the evidence sufficient to issue guidelines stating no screen time for babies. And in most cases no harm will be done to the child by sticking to that but some studies have shown harm could be done if you don't. Obviously it is about balance of harms and the need to get to a medical appt would outweigh this.

Same as feeding my 7 month old McDonalds because I'm too tired to cook. Doing this once or twice probably or even certainly won't harm her. But it won't do her any good so why do it. Giving my 1 year old cola won't harm her if I do it occasionally. But I'm not going to.

So back to TV screens in cars. It may be your only option but in most cases that isn't true. As TV screens in cars are a recent innovation.

Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 22:31

@Macncheeseballs

Ironing - fair enough, but we all deal with these stressful childcare moments differently, that's your way of dealing with it, not mine
It’s not that it was just stressful. She was medicated for severe reflux and also had cmpa which wasn’t diagnosed at the time.

She literally threw up within 5 mins of being in the car. Every time. She still gets terribly sick.

How would you suggest I would have got to see my family? Who lived 2 hours away? Or got to my grans funeral?

I never went out unless it was absolutely essential. Because she literally screamed the place down from being put in the car seat.

And the vomit went everywhere. The whole car was covered.

Can you tell me how you would have dealt with that?

Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 22:33

How was I supposed to get her to the doctor for her hospital appointments? Got to pick her siblings from school? Gone for groceries (pre internet deliveries)?

I tried putting her in the front where I could see her but it made no difference.

Honestly, it’s easy to be smart. I didn’t do it with any of my others, but she had medical issues and still does that mean she struggles to travel without being sick.

Walk a mile and all that.

TJ17 · 04/12/2020 22:34

[quote Macncheeseballs]www.fatherly.com/health-science/screen-time-hurts-kids-dopamine-addiction/[/quote]
This is literally a load of garbage

Professor Kevin McConway, Emeritus Professor of Applied Statistics at The Open University, pointed to a "surprising feature" of the WHO guidance.
"Under every one of its lists of recommendations, the report explicitly says 'strong recommendations, very low-quality evidence'," he says.
He added: "It seems a little strange that the public health experts who produced the report should feel able to make 'strong recommendations' on the basis of such weak evidence."
Dr Tim Smith, Reader in Cognitive Psychology at the Centre for Brain and Cognitive Development, Birkbeck, University of London, said parents had been "bombarded with conflicting recommendations and guidelines" in recent months, and that the WHO "does not help to clarify the situation".
The UK's Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH) does not set time limits for different age groups because there's a lack of evidence.
They recommend that parents should approach the issue on a case by case basis, rather than trying to use a "one-size-fits-all" approach

NotDesmondsBoat · 04/12/2020 22:39

Maybe there was a documentary playing. Mayan civilisation, blue planet, 24hrs in A&E...... Maybe it was shameless season 3?you should have knocked on and asked

Echobelly · 04/12/2020 22:39

I'll admit, I am a bit judgy about people giving tiny babies screens. Honestly, the whole fucking world is just totally trippy when you're a tiny baby, you don't have to assume they need stimulation every second.

Mine were babies before I owned a smartphone or anything, so it wasn't an issue, but honestly I usually forgot to bring even toys when going out for lunch or whatever and I found toddlers could be pretty endlessly amused by salt and pepper pots and sugar sachets.

I know, I know, I don't know the context - but sometimes it feels like people feel they need to endlessly distract their kids before they have even tried to find out if they can manage without distraction, and it's not just screens, I do wonder if it's strictly necessary when I see a family arrive at a restaurant and immediately pull out 3 books, a colouring book and multiple pencils and crayons the moment they sit down. I appreciate I was probably just lucky (it's not that I'm some amazing parent), but my kids, even DS who has ADD, were always able to behave themselves in restaurants without running about without us bringing any toys or books with.

Macncheeseballs · 04/12/2020 22:42

Tj17, so you don't believe screen addiction in kids is a thing Hmm

studychick81 · 04/12/2020 22:44

Oh dear, you would judge me then. When dd was a baby she hated the car and would cry and cry unless I held her hand. I had to give her my phone to play with, I didn't like doing it, to stop her crying on every journey. I had a 2 yo and couldn't just walk everywhere or stay in.

Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 22:45

My dd is 21 now.

She isn’t addicted to screens. She barely watches tv, doesn’t game, is doing a related healthcare degree and is on target for a good result, has 2 part time jobs.

Watching a bit of a dvd on a player in the car (and only in the car) did no harm that I can see.

Macncheeseballs · 04/12/2020 22:46

Ironing, sorry just to be clear I am not talking about DVDs, I am talking about interactive screen usage in young kids,

Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 22:48

So you just launched at me and didn’t bother to read my posts.

Well that’s kind. Not.

Macncheeseballs · 04/12/2020 22:53

Jesus, no-one launched at any one!

Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 22:53

@Macncheeseballs

Ironing - fair enough, but we all deal with these stressful childcare moments differently, that's your way of dealing with it, not mine
That was a pure Nasty post.
Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 22:56

And you didn’t answer my questions.

Since you would have dealt with it differently, please tell me how.

How would you have managed a trip to visit my family where I was the only adult and had to drive?

How would you have done groceries? I had to do them, there was no Tesco internet delivery and my husband at the time worked abroad. (See above re living far from family)

And I want to go to my grandmothers funeral. How would you have suggested I get there?

TJ17 · 04/12/2020 22:56

@Macncheeseballs DVDs still count as screen time 🤦🏼‍♀️ the link you shared doesn't even mention interactive screen use, it's more about just watching tv.

It's actually more beneficial for a child to use a screen interactively than to sit there just watching according to all the studies I've read.

No I don't believe that children can be addicted to screens in the same way somebody is addicted to cocaine. That's utterly ridiculous

Macncheeseballs · 04/12/2020 22:57

No it wasn't, pointing out that not everyone relies on screens for young kids, is simply not nasty, just true

Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 22:58

@Macncheeseballs

No it wasn't, pointing out that not everyone relies on screens for young kids, is simply not nasty, just true
And how would you have dealt with a child who threw up within 5 mins of getting in the car?
TJ17 · 04/12/2020 22:59

I've literally never seen a child having withdrawal symptoms from the iPad.

Sweating, rocking in the corner and vomiting because they missed an episode of Paw Patrol.

Yes some children spend far too much time on screens and are lazy. This is not because when they were 3 months old their parents showed them videos in the car to distract them from screaming themselves sick

TJ17 · 04/12/2020 23:01

You are literally sharing newspaper articles that have sensationalised headlines.

I've already shared the opinion from The UK’s Royal College of Pediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH) which basically says it's all a load of shite

Macncheeseballs · 04/12/2020 23:03

Ironing, it sounds like you did the best you could in the circumstances, but medical reasons are not why so many people stick smart devices under their kids noses.

TJ17 · 04/12/2020 23:04

And how do you know peoples reasons?

TJ17 · 04/12/2020 23:05

The ironic thing is you've been on Mumsnet all night with the rest of us addicts 😂

Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 23:05

That’s not what you said.

What you said was a sneer nasty comment about what superior parent you were looking down your nose at the plebs who put their kids in front of screens.

It’s literally right here on the thread. It was a nasty put down towards me.

You are bloody lucky you didn’t have it to deal with and anyone going through similar has my utmost sympathy.

You still haven’t answered me.