My friend didn't get my a present ,aibu to think it's cheeky?

[hatbatcatxx]

My friend celebrated her 30th birthday in November,I bought her a 3 gifts and spent about £40.
One was a special present (a engraved grandma pic as she died last year )
She said for your birthday I've seen the perfect gift your going to love it.
This morning we met for a quick lunch as we were exchanging Xmas gifts.(the only time we could meet before Xmas )
We decided for Xmas we would make each other a hamper.
Pjs,face masks,slippers,face wipes and chocolates.
It's my birthday Boxing Day.
Handed her over her gifts.(all of the above )
Got home and opened mine and it's literally a pair of primark pjs,nothing else.
No birthday gift or birthday card.
I feel a bit miffed tbh
Aibu ?

Maybe the birthday gift is being sent from elsewhere?

Is she skint?

It's not your birthday yet.
If shes getting you a gift she might be posting it, or maybe shes skint and wants to wait until next payday to buy it?

There is deffo no birthday gift.
She's deffo not skint as she was showing me all her new purchases.

We ended it with "have a great Christmas,will see you in the new year"
She knows I obviously won't mention my birthday so no gift.

Grabby.

Then it's time to stop. Next birthday just don't. If she comments (she won't) tell her you had thought the gift giving had stopped last year and change the subject.

I can't be arsed with all that though.

We stop buying friends Christmas gifts and birthday gifts when we all children op. Sounds like its time to knock it on the head.

I don't really think you can be sure at this stage, it's too early.

She made a big song and dance for her birthday.
As restaurants were closed I ordered us a meal at home and spent another £27 for her.
It's just all a bit 1 way

It's not your birthday yet.

It's not Christmas yet either! Why have you opened your present already?

Unless she was referring to you loving absolutely nothing, she will send the gift closer to your birthday. She mentioned it to you.
She might be conscious of not wanting to lump your birthday in with Christmassy things, as many people do when someone has a bday so close to Xmas.

It sounds like you've got into a bit of a present-buying arms race. All a bit tit for tat and petty. You sound like you're keeping score.

I'd be grateful she's got you a present and count your blessings.

She's made an effort. I would let it go.

Maybe she’s ordering your birthday gift online and having it sent to you?

I don’t think you can be legitimately annoyed until your birthday has been and gone and no present has materialised.

I think you should wait a little. Perhaps she will com through. However, I do agree it sounds rather one sided even if that was just the “hamper”, let alone if it was hamper come birthday gift.

I stopped getting my friend gifts because she forgot my birthday and hadn’t given me anything the xmas before. It was not personal. She’s completely scatty. But I decided not to bother again. It stops her from feeling bad because she forgets about me.

Strangedayindeed

Grabby.

I’m missing the point why it’s Grabby as you put it? She spent a lot of money on her friends birthday. He friend said she would be buying her something she likes. Hopefully it’s in the post. Maybe she’s waiting for it to come from a certain website.

Why have you opened your Xmas gift ?

We always open them straight away.
We are both impatient.

I love primark pyjamas and I'd be very grateful that my friend was so kind to think about getting me a gift. I don't give to receive.

Maybe she's ordered something that will be delivered to you directly?

With or without the birthday present, this would be better stopping. Agreeing to buy each other pyjamas is always going to be pointless. I tend to have shared nights out with friends now and maybe silly secret Santa.

@gamerchick

Then it's time to stop. Next birthday just don't. If she comments (she won't) tell her you had thought the gift giving had stopped last year and change the subject.

I can't be arsed with all that though.

This.

Literally a pair of Primark PJ's..how hard done to you you are.. did you not like them either. You can't go about life, thinking about the amount of money,or how many gifts that you are presented with ! Not a good attitude at all.

We do not give to receive.

But we don’t have to keep giving to cheeky fuckers either. More so if you agree a similar exchange.

Lesson learned here. My best mate and I talked about celebrating 10 years of friendship with a piece of jewellery. Her suggestion. Much fun was had browsing.

I delivered my gift. To her husband as she was ‘busy’.

In July - yes July - her husband came round with a sample of Avon perfume (she knows I only have 3 perfumes that suit me/don’t smell like Tom cat spray on me 🐈‍⬛) and an out of date box of maltesers.

I’d been pretty much ghosted from December. Also an end of December birthday which went unacknowledged together with christmas.

I did get a reminder of how excited she was about her birthday (April)... (yes I did). I knew she had more in common with newer friends who were mums (I failed on that point) but I still thought we could have a friendship.

And following the July delivery I got a long list of ‘wants’ for her sons birthday in September. No other contact.

He got a card with £10 and I got a text asking why I hadn’t provided one of the (very expensive) gifts asked for.

I would give the benefit of the doubt as it isn’t your birthday yet. But prepare to have a bit of a think on.

But I would get yourself some chocolate.

Maybe shes forgotten about your birthday, maybe she doesn't want to exchange gifts for every birthday, just big birthdays. I'd just forget doing birthday gifts in future.

Personally I can't be doing with exchanging gifts with other adults. If want something I buy it therefore I rarely have ideas or the ideas I do have are too expensive.