AIBU to be embarrassed to pass on a gift to my family?

[Twillow]

Prepares self to be shot down in flames...

I have received an xmas gift for my whole family from a relative. What's embarassing about it is that it is sooo cheap - think poundshop and damaged/regifted items!
There is a bit of history about gift-giving which I won't go into.
I love these people very much and they are close members of my small and dwindling family.
Maybe they really don't like me as much as I like them, I don't know.
But I just think my own family is going to laugh when they open it. I don't want them to dislike these people! AIBU to buy something else and keep schtum?

Is it a beautifully packed gift basket full of cheap tat? One elderly member of my family was conned into paying too much to someone to put together and post several onto other relatives.

@PandemicAtTheDisco

Is it a beautifully packed gift basket full of cheap tat? One elderly member of my family was conned into paying too much to someone to put together and post several onto other relatives.

Ohh I think it is, so maybe that is the case. Aw.

It is not the value of the thing that matters...

“I know exactly what you mean OP. I worked out a relative didn't much care for me when they gave socks for Christmas.”

Oh god I always buy stuff like socks for people I like!! I mean they’re useful, they’re not just going to collect dust and take up space. Usually nice socks though.

That’s the thing about presents it’s so subjective!

@Areweallsheepnow82

“I know exactly what you mean OP. I worked out a relative didn't much care for me when they gave socks for Christmas.”

Oh god I always buy stuff like socks for people I like!! I mean they’re useful, they’re not just going to collect dust and take up space. Usually nice socks though.

That’s the thing about presents it’s so subjective!

I love getting nice socks it wouldn’t make me think someone didn’t like me at all, what a strange conclusion to jump to

Can't you just have a good laugh at rubbish gifts?

My mother in law always gives us tat for Christmas. She gave my son (when he was 8) a towel for Christmas one year. She also bought my husband a beard trimmer when he has never had a beard.

A particular favourite was pyjamas for my daughter when she was 14 which were so large we could stand in one leg each - just like a weight loss poster.

I don't think you should upgrade the gifts, just say a big thank you and give what you don't want/need to charity.

I do understand why you feel the way you do but I would just give them the gift. Some people are crap at gifts. DHs auntie is a pain in the arse receiving gifts, its got to be original and thoughtful. But is crap at giving gifts, she got us a plastic book with plastic flowers sticking out of it last year, it was for a grave but hey ho . But she is a generous, loving person. It just goes over her head.

I'd hand over the gift and say "this is from aunt doris, I'm not sure what she was thinking but I'm sure she loves us really "

I think you are getting way too worked up over one rubbish gift.

Your family would laugh? How ungrateful and rude.

@Strangedayindeed

Your family would laugh? How ungrateful and rude.

Maybe I expressed it wrong. Like everyone, we have occasionally received rather 'odd' gifts that are amusing and not taken to heart. This isn't in the same category. I don't actually think they'd laugh, I think they'd be hurt/offended that this is all the giver thinks of us. Anyway, having taken various comments on board I have now got over my own hurt and am not going to change it - it is what it is, the giver must have their reasons for giving in this way (although it is fairly typical of them, this years is an extreme version of it!) and I'm not going to judge! To others who have suggested reasons - I am not in the dark about their finances They do go out and about They are not elderly And to those who have suggested we are ungrateful and rude, you don't know us to judge that, I am discussing it anonymously on a forum, not kicking up a family row - in fact I'm trying to avoid anyone's feelings getting hurt, which is also why I will not disclose any more identifying details about the gift!

My MIL used to like not spending much on gifts and once gave me the chocs that had been left on her pillow during hotel stay in the summer for Christmas! Wrapped in a tissue, bless her. They had not travelled well in the heat 😂

No bloody idea, is it a mouse trap or something?! Bird seeds and you all hates birds? Half eaten chocolate bar when one of your family are allergic to chocolate? Either way - just give it.

OP I think this thread has shown that present buying is a very subjective thing - of it’s nicely presented it may be that it’s just not to your taste but the gift giver has clearly gone to some effort to get it to you in plenty of time for Christmas.

I remember when I was a teen a relative handed me a tube of vitamin tablets as a present. I thanked him profusely while privately thinking “well Uncle X has clearly gone off the deep end”. Turns out he’d filled it was pound coins. I’m glad I thanked him or else I’d have looked like a right knob

Just a nice update as to how the unwrapping went!
Beforehand, I replaced one item which had broken in transit and discarded the torn packaging from another. Otherwise left as was.

Happily, my family appreciated the thought that had gone into the choice of items, and at the same time showed me that they recognised the typical gifting from this person saying "Ooh, X has done well this year!"

I'm glad I struck a middle line between changing it altogether and leaving it completely as it was.