It's only a fiver but..........

[Taikoo]

I'm being an arse maybe, but anyway.....

A few weeks back, I helped a friend, let's call her Jane, to move flat.
Went to her place at about 5:30pm after work on a Friday, expecting her to be ready to go move then. She said she'd be ready to go at 5:30pm.
She wasn't ready. No problem. I waited about 90 minutes until she was ready.
Another friend, I'll call her Bella, joined us to help Jane move, in the meantime.

We helped Jane to bring her heavy suitcases and other stuff down the stairs, in the lift and out to the building entrance to wait for the taxis.
Jane had booked two taxis.
She was moving from one furnished flat to another so we didn't have to hump furniture, luckily.

Jane took the first taxi and some of her stuff to the new flat.
Me and Bella waited 30 minutes more for taxi number 2 and took ourselves and the rest of Jane's stuff to her new place.
It took about 30 minutes to get to the new flat.
We live in a very large city.

I paid the equivalent of 5 pounds when we got near the flat. The taxi could not enter the housing compound and drive right to Jane's flat. And we couldn't find Jane's flat anyway as we had never been there before.
So me and Bella got out on the street, took the stuff to Jane's flat and I presumed that Jane would pay me back. Jane came out on the street to find us.

We had been promised food for giving up our Friday evening to help Jane move. She said she'd get takeaway.
Two other friends turned up and one of them had brought milkshakes and 5 little boxes of french fries and cheese dip, which were stone cold.
No other food was forthcoming. Jane didn't offer us anything.

By 9pm, Jane was making signs that she was tired so us 4 all headed off home. I was starving so I went to my favourite burger place for food at about 9:30pm.

A few days later, I Whatsapped Jane and asked her for the money back. She said she give it to me but she hasn't yet.
We work in the same place.
I see her a lot.
It's now two weeks later.

Will I ask her one more time for my money tomorrow, or not?
It's not much money, only a fiver, but i'm annoyed because i gave up my Friday evening to help her and now i'm down a fiver.
And I don't think it's her right to expect me to pay for her taxi after we've helped her move.

These excuses for Jane are fantastic

she's a CF. you'll never get it back. If I was expecting friends to help me i'd have a wad of cash that I could give out at the beginning of the journey and i'd expect to feed them too. I'd take it as a lesson learned in the friendship.

She’s a CF, I wouldn’t bother asking her again, but next time she moves I would be busy, busy, she’s no friend.

lazyarse123

I'm sure that moving house is known to be one of the most stressful events that a person can go through...second to a divorce I think. I may have read that a long time ago before a pandemic came along! I've certainly found moving stressful in the past anyway haha!
I do think a show of appreciation is needed by the friend in whatever form that may be though. More than a poxy fiver.

Have not read the whole thread but it’s obvious Jane is one of those people who has not been thought how to be an adult. She should not only have given you the money straight away but also organised a proper takeaway dinner and /or given you some wine/chocolates as a thank you.

I wouldn't bother chasing it but lesson learned: she 's a piss-taker. Don't lift a finger for her again.

@NoPainNoTartine

You dont sound like friends confused I'd never ever ask my friend for £5 back but that's upto you I guess. You helped her and it was like you wanted rewarding for helping? If you are friends you should want to help out.

you sound like one of the CF

No idea what a CF is. But if your implying that I'm like this "jane" character your very much mistaken.

This is what you get for having an opinion on MN.

Can someone lend me a fiver?

No idea what a CF is

cheeky fucker

Don't ask, explain that you're collecting the input loan

@GirlInterrupted

5 pound, really? If that's your biggest problem.... Let it go, she might help you one day when you need a friend

A friend will not behave this way. Also,how would you like to help someone to move house after a full working week and ending up paying for the "privilege"? I would not appreciate the above scenario,it would be the last personal interaction between myself and this person. It is not about the £5 but the very poor behavior ...

People who are saying 'it's only a fiver' it's not the money - it's the principle. And if you don't get that you obviously don't have any...

@diddl

These excuses for Jane are fantastic

I know,right? Who needs enemies when you have friends like Jane ...LOL

She's a CF - if you were my friend, I'd have paid for the taxi, food and drink.

Maybe you should send her a text asking her to look up the word favour! She's no friend and I would be distancing myself from her.

YANBU

Even if you take away the house move, she's taking the piss. Imagine inviting someone over and telling them you'll treat them to take away, and then giving them a cold carton of fries.

Just move on from her. You'll cause yourself more than £5 of hassle if you keep asking for it back, and/or try to continue being friends with her.

It's not the amount she owes but the disrespect and lack of appreciation that matters. Ask for your money for sure, she owes it and if she is by any slim chance just being forgetful she should cough up and apologise for the fact you have had to chase her for it. Nobody should be put in the position of having to ask nicely for their own money, it puts them in an embarrassing position and is therefore rude.
She has treated you with little care or regard and shown no appreciation for the rather large favour you did her, for me that would be end of friendship unless she does a massive about turn in attitude.

Does your work do a secret santa? God I hope you get her...

Just written in a card "I forgive your debt"

That would be glorious and not at all passive aggressive

@Nanny1Nanny2

Moving is pretty stressful

You are happy to loose a friendship over £5 ?

Really

The important part is that "the fiver" might be actually much more that what we think of a fiver. Look at it. 30 min taxi ride for a fiver. Is it a country with ultra cheap taxis or are the wages lower too and so the "fiver" is more like if we talked 30 quid in UK.

Either way. It's a fiver now, will be 20 next and 50 later...

@cocklesandscones
Do you still think of her as a friend,the one who owes you a tenner then?

I'd ask again, and if that meant the end of the friendship, so be it! She's not much of a friend, anyway, to treat OP and the others this way. She's a user.

@chickensmightfly

Totally agree with your comments
It is defaintely disrespectful, she this so called friend of Op has taking advantage of Op kindness
We see if she give fiver back, I suspect she will forget and expect sooner or later down the line,so called friend will expect another favour,I know have come across those types myself, so predictable...

Well even if it’s cost you a fiver you have now learnt that Jane is a massive CF who will be happy to let you give up your time to help her, let you down on the promise of a meal to say thanks you and leave you out of pocket for a taxi to transport her belongings.
So write it off and promise yourself to never volunteer to help her out again.

The fiver is more than just money...

Jane is a CF...

Jane kept you all waiting an hour and a half.

Jane, instead of sending you in the first taxi with the full address and keys, and either giving you the fare or prepaying it to the driver, leaps in the first taxi and fucks off, leaving you waiting..

Jane doesn't pay for your taxi and isn't EVEN waiting at the taxi drop off point to meet you and help you haul HER stuff.

Jane promises to feed you in return for your efforts and time... and then you get a rubbish snack of cold fries.

Jane is the ultimate in CF and you should definitely ask for your money back and definitely not do anything for her again, nor consider her a friend. She is a twat. The fiver is symbolic of all of the above, Jane doesn't care, she's got what she wanted and fuck everyone else.

It might only be a £5 but OP was promised food also.

Reminds me of the time my sister asked if I could take something to her house....15 min drive.She would sort some lunch out too.

So I get there and there are two french bread pizzas in the oven.
She plates one up,gets and drink and sits and eats it in front of me.
Then she gets the other out.
I thought maybe she had put them in at different times so now mine was ready.....she sits back down and eats that one also.
I didnt even get offered a drink .
Should have learnt my lesson after the buffet saga lol

You are certainly within your rights to ask again, but unless the £5 is really material to you, I'd take the high road and accept she's a CF and have nothing more to do with her.

MN posters' attitudes to 'friends' is very odd. I sometimes feel like it's a parallel universe where everyone keeps a tight tab, no-one actually likes their friends and no-one ever just helps someone because it's kind/they like them. It's a very skewed view of human relationships.

But surely that should be a two-way street? How is it kind to not even offer to pay for a taxi your friend only took to help you out? If you like someone, wouldn’t you want to thank them for giving up their time and energy to help you - maybe by making sure they didn’t go home hungry at 9pm?

I have friends who like me enough to help me move. I like THEM enough to make sure they know they’re appreciated and are not out of pocket.