It's only a fiver but..........

[Taikoo]

I'm being an arse maybe, but anyway.....

A few weeks back, I helped a friend, let's call her Jane, to move flat.
Went to her place at about 5:30pm after work on a Friday, expecting her to be ready to go move then. She said she'd be ready to go at 5:30pm.
She wasn't ready. No problem. I waited about 90 minutes until she was ready.
Another friend, I'll call her Bella, joined us to help Jane move, in the meantime.

We helped Jane to bring her heavy suitcases and other stuff down the stairs, in the lift and out to the building entrance to wait for the taxis.
Jane had booked two taxis.
She was moving from one furnished flat to another so we didn't have to hump furniture, luckily.

Jane took the first taxi and some of her stuff to the new flat.
Me and Bella waited 30 minutes more for taxi number 2 and took ourselves and the rest of Jane's stuff to her new place.
It took about 30 minutes to get to the new flat.
We live in a very large city.

I paid the equivalent of 5 pounds when we got near the flat. The taxi could not enter the housing compound and drive right to Jane's flat. And we couldn't find Jane's flat anyway as we had never been there before.
So me and Bella got out on the street, took the stuff to Jane's flat and I presumed that Jane would pay me back. Jane came out on the street to find us.

We had been promised food for giving up our Friday evening to help Jane move. She said she'd get takeaway.
Two other friends turned up and one of them had brought milkshakes and 5 little boxes of french fries and cheese dip, which were stone cold.
No other food was forthcoming. Jane didn't offer us anything.

By 9pm, Jane was making signs that she was tired so us 4 all headed off home. I was starving so I went to my favourite burger place for food at about 9:30pm.

A few days later, I Whatsapped Jane and asked her for the money back. She said she give it to me but she hasn't yet.
We work in the same place.
I see her a lot.
It's now two weeks later.

Will I ask her one more time for my money tomorrow, or not?
It's not much money, only a fiver, but i'm annoyed because i gave up my Friday evening to help her and now i'm down a fiver.
And I don't think it's her right to expect me to pay for her taxi after we've helped her move.

Agree about asking her for it in front of other people. Years ago when I was a student, I shared a taxi from the station to my hall of residence with one of the "posh" girls. She owed me a fiver for the fare. I must have asked for it back about 5 times amid much eye rolling from her, but I eventually accosted her in front of her posh mates and said I needed it back now. That did the trick, although she cornered me and accused me of embarrassing her. Turned round and said "like I give a toss!" CFs will always make it your problem and try to make you feel uncomfortable. It's a tactic that you need to ignore.

I’d ask her one more time, and if it doesn’t come, write it off. And mentally also write her off.

It’s not about the money, it’s about her attitude towards friends who gave up a Friday evening to help her out.

When in company say

"Oi! Jane! We schlepped your shit across town in a taxi for you, walked the streets with your stuff and waited in vain for the food we had been promised. You paying for your own taxi is the least you can do to say thanks for the effort we went to!"

You aren't friends. She used you as her mule, for her own convenience! Don't hesistate to shame her, her vague embarrassment may be the only payment you receive!

If you don't get it back, consider it worth the price to find out that she isn't a friend at all.

I can't get past a 30min taxi ride with two people and baggage only cost £5. I probably wouldn't push for it back but I would be judging her ungratefulness tbh

Sorry but I was coming on to say close to what winterwhore said. Are you actually friends? You sound total opposites- she was moving and you expected her to be ready to go but moving is a bloody huge thing which does end up with delays all over the place, she should have known you were the type to want to be ready to go and not asked you. I hate the people on mn that assume because people are scary as some of us are, that we are CF or out for all we can get, some people's are just not as tuned in as the ultra organised, highly etiquette savvy people you are, and if you know them well and see other qualities you like enough to be friends then you have to be ready to accept that. You sound too bitter about it all for you to actually like her. I'd say let it all drift off

Scatty not scary!!!!!

I'm thinking that if a fairly decent taxi ride costs a fiver then locally a fiver is a reasonably big deal. Did the other friend in the taxi chip in also?

I think you know that Jane is not a friend unless there were very extenuating circumstances and this is not normally her character then I think I would write it off (if you can afford to) and remain polite but no favours, no money lending etc.

You never know, there may come a point at which you can manage to force her into paying for something that should be shared. If that crops up then take advantage. I.e walk off and leave her to pay shouting back that she can take it from what she owes you...

Oi! Jane! We schlepped your shit across town in a taxi for you, walked the streets with your stuff and waited in vain for the food we had been promised. You paying for your own taxi is the least you can do to say thanks for the effort we went to!"

She's a user. Not just the failure to pay the 5 pounds but the whole thing e.g. no food. I'd be tempted to let it go and not bother with her again. Even if she did pay you back would you want to be friends.

Jane is a CF who will do this again and again if you let her. Ditch her

Can you contact her, say you’ve forgotten your purse but you need money for your dinner/parking/donation etc. and luckily you have remembered that she said she’d pay you back that fiver...

@GirlInterrupted

5 pound, really? If that's your biggest problem.... Let it go, she might help you one day when you need a friend

I doubt it! I ordered food in for my own parents when they helped me move. She took all that help with nothing in return.

I understand, OP, the amount isn't important but I would feel a bit used if the £5 wasn't forthcoming and she had been ungracious about getting food in as promised.

I am more than willing to help friends out practically where I can but am not happy to be left out of pocket for doing so. Just remind her, by text, that you would like the money for the taxi back. If she's just moved, she might have a lot on so keep it friendly.

If you don't hear anything, I wouldn't keep pushing unless you are really strapped for cash, but I would probably remember this next time Jane wanted help. I know its only a small amount and it probably sounds petty of me but I've learned the hard way about friends and money. if someone is inconsiderate about your time and money, it is usually more widely indicative of how even the friendship is.

@stayathomer

Oi! Jane! We schlepped your shit across town in a taxi for you, walked the streets with your stuff and waited in vain for the food we had been promised. You paying for your own taxi is the least you can do to say thanks for the effort we went to!"

Ah come on! You can see the kind of thing I meant! Or would you just meekly acquiesce to such arrogant treatment?

I don't get it? Users use. They rely on the silence fo the used to continue to get away with it. Why allow them to carry on?

She's a piece of work isn't she! You might get it back if you ask again, you might not, either way I'd keep well clear of her in future.

I'd write it off
And just be cautious

Lol at all the "she's not a friend" melodrama types.

I would ask myself why I was so pissed off about a fiver
Was it because I was really skint?
Was it because I felt my mate wasn't grateful - and is that reasonable?
Was it because it's a one way street with helping out?

Giving her the benefit of doubt here, could it just have slipped her mind again if she's still been stressed and tired settling in to a new home?

I think you'd be better just asking her in person "Oh, have you got that fiver, Jane?" when you next see and gauge her response then. If she's avoidant, then definitely a CF. If she apologises and hands it over then she may just have forgotten about it.

Another one thinking either £5 is worth a lot more here or Taxis are very cheap? either way OP says "Only a fiver" in the title so I'm guessing it's not seen as a massive loss to them.

I think I'd let it go, especially as you work together - you can't just not see them again! but make it the last favour you do for them

Seriously op, it’s not worth the aggro for a fiver. I would completely write this ‘friendship’ off though as she’s a using, nasty bitch. If you do really want to say something then I would message her something along the lines on of ‘I am really shocked and disappointed that I went through the time, energy and expense to do you a massive favour, and you not only went back providing us with a proper takeaway after all our hard work, you’re now trying to worm your way out of the taxi fare I had to pay to get to your flat. Don’t bother asking for a favour again’.

She's a CF, counting on the fact people will be too embarassed to pursue "only a fiver".

Return the service;  keep asking, at work, in front of other people.  " I  still need you to pay your debt and return  that money you owe me. Jane. How many times do I have to ask? "

She is not your friend.

You were very nice to help her out so much, she is rude and a genuine CF.

You don't even need to be a friend to be polite and grateful when someone helps you out. She clearly is not. Don't make your life harder if you have to work with her, but never waste one more minute with that person.

@GirlInterrupted

5 pound, really? If that's your biggest problem.... Let it go, she might help you one day when you need a friend

I think we've found Jane.

£5 is a bargain price for the information you got there... that this friend is a fair-weather cheeky fucker. You won't lend again and if you really need someone, she won't be who you turn to. It's really worth knowing that!

She’s a cf.
Why did you choose the names Jane and Bella?! 😁