It's only a fiver but..........

[Taikoo]

I'm being an arse maybe, but anyway.....

A few weeks back, I helped a friend, let's call her Jane, to move flat.
Went to her place at about 5:30pm after work on a Friday, expecting her to be ready to go move then. She said she'd be ready to go at 5:30pm.
She wasn't ready. No problem. I waited about 90 minutes until she was ready.
Another friend, I'll call her Bella, joined us to help Jane move, in the meantime.

We helped Jane to bring her heavy suitcases and other stuff down the stairs, in the lift and out to the building entrance to wait for the taxis.
Jane had booked two taxis.
She was moving from one furnished flat to another so we didn't have to hump furniture, luckily.

Jane took the first taxi and some of her stuff to the new flat.
Me and Bella waited 30 minutes more for taxi number 2 and took ourselves and the rest of Jane's stuff to her new place.
It took about 30 minutes to get to the new flat.
We live in a very large city.

I paid the equivalent of 5 pounds when we got near the flat. The taxi could not enter the housing compound and drive right to Jane's flat. And we couldn't find Jane's flat anyway as we had never been there before.
So me and Bella got out on the street, took the stuff to Jane's flat and I presumed that Jane would pay me back. Jane came out on the street to find us.

We had been promised food for giving up our Friday evening to help Jane move. She said she'd get takeaway.
Two other friends turned up and one of them had brought milkshakes and 5 little boxes of french fries and cheese dip, which were stone cold.
No other food was forthcoming. Jane didn't offer us anything.

By 9pm, Jane was making signs that she was tired so us 4 all headed off home. I was starving so I went to my favourite burger place for food at about 9:30pm.

A few days later, I Whatsapped Jane and asked her for the money back. She said she give it to me but she hasn't yet.
We work in the same place.
I see her a lot.
It's now two weeks later.

Will I ask her one more time for my money tomorrow, or not?
It's not much money, only a fiver, but i'm annoyed because i gave up my Friday evening to help her and now i'm down a fiver.
And I don't think it's her right to expect me to pay for her taxi after we've helped her move.

She's no friend of yours.

@stayathomer

hate people who expect others to dance on their every whim and don't consider how this impacts them. Sorry but sometimes chaos happens and you don't do things the way you should then after you realise you should have done things differently. Great if y ou sure on the ball all the times but I know I'm not. I try to make it up to people but I'm sure there's people in the world pissed off with me for things I dont even realise I've done. And you might hate someone like me but we're all different and I make up for it in other ways

The crucial thing in your post is "I try to make it up to people". Jane hasn't. She hasn't even repaid the money she's been asked for, let alone retrospectively realising that they actually did her a huge favour and perhaps getting them wine/chocolates might be nice.

Not that i regularly borrow money, but it has been known that I would forget my purse and someone at work would sub a couple of quid to get some lunch and I've done the same for others. However, how hard is it to just put a note in your phone/in your purse, on your desk etc to remind you to pay it back?

You do these things if you intend to pay back and more especially if you have a poor memory.

OP, i'd be surprised if you are the only person she owes.

Go out for lunch with her one day at work and tell her to pay.

I agree it's not the amount it's the principle and the lack of respect. I'd also be more pissed off at the lack of food. I mean you all must have been hungry. It's shitty to let you go away if she promised a takeaway.

So she got you and friend to hump her stuff across town and pay for the privilege, then got other friends to pay for the gone cold takeaway. No flies on our Jane.

@Meowchickameowmeow

I wouldn't give a fiver a second thought.

You are very fortunate then

It’s not about the money, it’s about her attitude towards friends who gave up a Friday evening to help her out
Agree with this.
Helping her with her move was a good help, you shouldn’t be out of pocket for it.
her whole move cost her £5, why should her friend pay the same amount.

I think she's a cheeky fucker.
She won't pay it back so no point asking really.
I'd be very reluctant to help her again. Even in the chaos of a house move, if people have offered to help you treat them properly. You get a pizza in afterwards. You pay up for the taxi.
If it's really gone pear-shaped in the chaos and you've not paid the taxi or got the takeaway in, you get them a present to thank them afterwards.
Just rude, cheeky behaviour from "Jane"

Yes, I think it was the principle and lack of respect, too.
I was hungry and hadn't eaten since 12:30 pm. She said she'd get a takeaway as a thank you, so I thought I'd wait for that.
Someone else bought 5 mini boxes of cold french fries, so that had to suffice.

@pickingdaisies

So she got you and friend to hump her stuff across town and pay for the privilege, then got other friends to pay for the gone cold takeaway. No flies on our Jane.

Yes, that's about it. No flies on her, and there are - they're paying rent.

I’d forget the fiver and ensure I’m never used by Jane again .

Your friend was probably stressed with her house move and didn't think twice about the cost of the taxi.
I think the biggest problem here is her ingratitude toward all of the labour that you provided. Even waiting about 30 minutes for a second taxi is putting you out. I'm sure that when she's settled she will think about it and take you all for a drink. If that doesn't happen though, and in time you recognise more selfish traits of her character, then I'd point this occasion out and ditch her.

Moving is pretty stressful

You are happy to loose a friendship over £5 ?

Really

"You are happy to loose a friendship over £5?"

Who wants a friend like Jane?

No loss, is it?

I can't imagine being close enough friends with someone that I'd help them move but then counting the cost of the taxi and complaining the chips were cold. Either you have poor boundaries or you're a poor friend.

MN posters' attitudes to 'friends' is very odd. I sometimes feel like it's a parallel universe where everyone keeps a tight tab, no-one actually likes their friends and no-one ever just helps someone because it's kind/they like them. It's a very skewed view of human relationships.

@twilightermummy

Your friend was probably stressed with her house move and didn't think twice about the cost of the taxi. I think the biggest problem here is her ingratitude toward all of the labour that you provided. Even waiting about 30 minutes for a second taxi is putting you out. I'm sure that when she's settled she will think about it and take you all for a drink. If that doesn't happen though, and in time you recognise more selfish traits of her character, then I'd point this occasion out and ditch her.

What's stressful about a house move that only involves clothes and possibly a few trinkets? But then I don t stress about Christmas either. I would keep asking for it until I got it. Jane is a user.

She's not someone I'd particularly want to be friends with tbh, imagine having people give up their whole evening doing manual labour for you in a pandemic, promising a takeaway and brazenly not bothering, have them incur an expense (however small it is to some) and then not pay that back, even when asked. Doesn't reflect at all well on her does it. It isn't about choosing a friendship over a 'measly' £5, it's about having the self esteem and wherewithal to not accept other peoples shitty behaviour towards you, when they are also your friend. It works both ways.

How close were you prior? I probably wouldn't ask for the £5 again but I probably would be pointing out the above and how disappointing it feels.

Wow, Jane is a grade A cheeky fecker.

I don’t let people like her off the hook because they’ll continue to do the same sort of thing to everyone else forever more.

I really dislike the Jane’s of this world who treat others with such obvious disdain.

@TheCrowsHaveEyes

I can't imagine being close enough friends with someone that I'd help them move but then counting the cost of the taxi and complaining the chips were cold. Either you have poor boundaries or you're a poor friend.

MN posters' attitudes to 'friends' is very odd. I sometimes feel like it's a parallel universe where everyone keeps a tight tab, no-one actually likes their friends and no-one ever just helps someone because it's kind/they like them. It's a very skewed view of human relationships.

That’s some serious cherry picking!

"I can't imagine being close enough friends with someone that I'd help them move but then counting the cost of the taxi and complaining the chips were cold."

I can't imagine expecting a close friend to pay any part of my moving costs & then not at least buying them a takeaway of their choice!

@WinterWhore

You dont sound like friends I'd never ever ask my friend for £5 back but that's upto you I guess. You helped her and it was like you wanted rewarding for helping? If you are friends you should want to help out. You sound so petty and I seriously envy your life if this is all you have to worry about.

Not a reward but not out of pocket, unless the Op suggests the activity she doesn’t mind paying up for. Ops friend should at least offer the money that’s being polite. The reward was getting fed which the Op avoided as well.

It’s fine to ask for the money of course. But what type of friend is Jane normally? She would have been stressed about the move and maybe didn’t have the energy to organise the taxi after that.