My sister said I was "greedy" aibu to think I'm not?

[somethinginyoureyes]

I always help my sister out,every time we are out I will buy our Costa /Starbucks.
I lend her money and hardly get it back or when I do it will be short £20.
I know she's my sister but it does get annoying.
Anyway Monday she asked me to order her a phone cover off eBay,I did it was £7.99 and she said today when we go shopping she would get my Costa (a cup of tea and a cake ) it would have came to around £4.50.
So anyway we walk into shopping centre and she takes out £4.00 and says "I'm gonna use my cash in Costa instead of bank card"
I say "oh right I don't think £4.00 will cover it tho"
She says "I'm only getting a coffee,don't fancy a cake"
So I think I had a puzzled look on my face and say "oh right I don't have any change and don't want to use my card either"
She said "well your gonna have to if you want anything"
I said "I thought you were getting them for the £8 you owed.
She says "are you joking?,I only have £4.00 change,I don't want to use my card..fine il use my card !!"
I said "it doesn't matter,il get my own"
We go in Costa and she orders a coffee and then screams at me "what do you want"
I said "il get my own"
She said "well you made a song and dance over it,you have your bank card,why won't you just buy your own,instead of making me use mine"
I said "look I'm not arguing over £8 in future we will just get our own to save this"
She hands me a cup of tea (no cake ) and calls me a greedy cow and walks off.
Aibu to think I wasn't in the wrong?

Why on earth didn't she want to use her card? I thought it was preferred to cut germ spreading

@somethinginyoureyes

I know I sound daft but our mam died when we were young and I think I always mothered her (even tho we are close in age) It's stupid I know

Maybe that was necessary when you were both much younger. But you're grown ups now. So time to put your grown up pants on and stop paying for everything, and then maybe she'll learn too.

Why can't she just do her own e-bay orders? Don't get involved. I only ever do this for very elderly relatives who insist on repaying every last penny, even when you say it doesn't matter.
Your sister sounds a nasty piece of work.

You have two choices, allow the CF to continue to make a fool out of you or put a stop to it today, take your pick.

Agree with all the above but if you're feeling petty. Message her and ask her to pick up something for you to the value of what she owes you and throw the rant she gave you in Costa back in her face! People like this annoy me no end but you are to blame in all this, as you've recognised.

[quote somethinginyoureyes]@lottiegarbanzo she has about the same amount of money as me but she's in the mind frame "why spend mine if I can spend yours "[/quote]
Don’t buy anything else for her. Just stop. Let her get a whole new mindset.

Next time she asks you to order something for her, refuse and cite this saga as the reason why.

Your DS is a freeloading, tantrum throwing loser. Don't pay a single penny for her drinks/stuff going forward.

Your sister is a toxic manipulative freeloader

@somethinginyoureyes

You are very obviously NOT being unreasonable.

You have fallen into the ''big sister'' role and have assumed the responsibility of being the ''grown up''.

Well, it's now time for HER to grow up ! Which she is very obviously trying to avoid, hence the ''not paying her Ebay bills'' etc

I think it will come as a shock to her for you to be refusing to stay in your ''grown up'' role, so be ready with your replies when she says '' but I need you to do.....because I can't !'' or ''but you KNOW I can't buy off Ebay, you're being selfish !'' etc etc

A simple ''no, I can't do that'' or ''I'm sure you can find another way to...''
Eventually she will get the message. Maybe begin by making sure you are first to order at the coffee shop and only order your own.....?

That's so embarrassing, for her.

She has come to rely on your for pocket money. Why couldn't she order her own phone cover?

It sounds like it would be something that would go on in your teens, not your thirties.

She sounds a right horrible brat! If my sister ever treated me like that I'd give her what for. Not a chance would she try and embarrass me in public like that!

If you want to keep it friendly / non-confrontational going forward I would use what she said to end this once and for all.

You could text saying sorry you had the silly argument and that she feels you're greedy. You don't want to be seen that way so lets from now on just keep all money things separate so there are no hard feelings going forward. x

Cheeky cow though!

I'd put a stop to all of it right now. You're doing her no favours by allowing her to treat you so badly. If she's like this with friends, she soon won't have any. Keep standing up to her and force her to respect you more.

I'm also struggling to recognise why your the one being blamed

Your being generous and shes just a manipulative brat. How is that your fault? My DM spoils me rotten, and I NEVER take this piss or talk to her the way OPs sister talks to her and I ALWAYS reciprocate. Why? Because I know how to treat someone. So no OP this isn't your fault unfortunately she has taken your kindness for grante

NotStayingIn said the perfect response.

Sorry so many typos!

Of course you weren't in the wrong. She is a greedy entitled rude selfish pain in the neck.

No YANBU at all. However, it does sound like your sister is having money problems. I had the same with my sibling not wanting to use his card for something, even when I said I would transfer him the money immediately. (It was something that could only be delivered to his house). Anyway, it turned out he had gone over his overdraft and couldnt use his card.

Stop getting your sister the things she’s asked you to order, then there will be no outstanding debts. Sounds like she’s the younger spoilt sister who always got what she wanted as a kid, time she grew up.

When she does pay you back don't give her your bank details (acct number etc) if she's your sister she'll know enough detail to get in and steal your money. And the way she behaves I wouldn't put it past her to try.

This has been almost word for word posted before. Whoever else said that up there ^ you are definitely not going mad.

@MenaiMna you can't take money out of an account that you only have the paying in details for. How on earth would she steal anything by paying money in?

Mmmm. Ok. Maybe not word for word but definitely the same story.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4067661-To-have-expected-her-to-offer-cake?msgid=101390262#101390262

I do not tolerate this in my life OP, I have learnt that it means the person behaving like this has zero respect for you. Unfortunately I found this out the hard way and distance myself from such people until they learn their lesson and start treating me with a little respect.