My sister said I was "greedy" aibu to think I'm not?

[somethinginyoureyes]

I always help my sister out,every time we are out I will buy our Costa /Starbucks.
I lend her money and hardly get it back or when I do it will be short £20.
I know she's my sister but it does get annoying.
Anyway Monday she asked me to order her a phone cover off eBay,I did it was £7.99 and she said today when we go shopping she would get my Costa (a cup of tea and a cake ) it would have came to around £4.50.
So anyway we walk into shopping centre and she takes out £4.00 and says "I'm gonna use my cash in Costa instead of bank card"
I say "oh right I don't think £4.00 will cover it tho"
She says "I'm only getting a coffee,don't fancy a cake"
So I think I had a puzzled look on my face and say "oh right I don't have any change and don't want to use my card either"
She said "well your gonna have to if you want anything"
I said "I thought you were getting them for the £8 you owed.
She says "are you joking?,I only have £4.00 change,I don't want to use my card..fine il use my card !!"
I said "it doesn't matter,il get my own"
We go in Costa and she orders a coffee and then screams at me "what do you want"
I said "il get my own"
She said "well you made a song and dance over it,you have your bank card,why won't you just buy your own,instead of making me use mine"
I said "look I'm not arguing over £8 in future we will just get our own to save this"
She hands me a cup of tea (no cake ) and calls me a greedy cow and walks off.
Aibu to think I wasn't in the wrong?

I know I sound daft but our mam died when we were young and I think I always mothered her (even tho we are close in age)
It's stupid I know

Ok that's fair enough but she's acting like a spoilt brat and taking advantage of you financially. Time for her to stand on her own two feet!

Is she genuinely hard up or just tight?

It's quite odd for a 33 year old not to be able to use online sites like ebay or to avoid using a bank card. Do you know why she does this?

Are you significantly better off than she is? Is that why you 'help her out' financially?

It sounds as though she is living beyond her means and can't actually afford to be going to Costa for tea and cake all the time (or buying all the other stiff that you are buying for her. Add it up, It will be £hundreds a year).

Stop buying her drinks, insist on either buying your own or taking turns

If she wants you to buy stuff of ebay tell her to put the money into your account first

Also, why would either of you not want to use your card? It's a great way of keeping track of spending. Living hand to mouth with cash suggests poverty so =/= being able to afford treats all the time. I don't get it.

Do you know why she does this?

She's either totally broke, or she's as tight as a crab's arse, one of the two.

@lottiegarbanzo I always use my card,I just said that because I didn't want to get stuck with the full bill.
That's why I said I don't have much change as she would have expected me to pay.

@lottiegarbanzo she has about the same amount of money as me but she's in the mind frame "why spend mine if I can spend yours "

Why can’t she order the phone cover herself?!

She sounds about 12 and is a CF.

Right ok. Why won't she use her card. Why doesn't she do her own shopping on Ebay?

It does sound a bit as though she sees you as her indulgent parent. But also as if she's living beyond her means.

My sister and I are able to swap off who pays because we both err on the side of over-paying the other back. I would stop paying for her entirely. It’s a hassle, but you need to have separate checks and definitely no more online ordering for her.

Is £4.50 the (approx) price per person?

Bloody hell!

She should pay what she owes in terms of money lent, but how often do these coffee & cake trips happen & whose idea are they?

If I wanted to meet someone quite often for coffee & cake & they couldn't afford then I'd happily pay.

Forget everything that has gone before. From today onwards only ever pay for yourself. If she queries say I can’t today I’m on a budget/ saving for X/ don’t have the money in my account. Whatever you need to say to avoid paying for her. On repeat for the rest of time!

You are not greedy she is a ponce and should get you to buy things if she can't afford to pay for them. X

We normally meet once a week.

@lottiegarbanzo she's banned from eBay for not paying her eBay fees years ago

[quote somethinginyoureyes]@lottiegarbanzo she has about the same amount of money as me but she's in the mind frame "why spend mine if I can spend yours "[/quote]
Missed that before I posted.

How bizarre. Sounds like a conversation that a 4 year old might have.

So she went on the obnoxious offensive because she knows fine well she's been 'take take take' with you.

Cow.

Stop buying her things. Tell her to buy her own things.

Calling you a greedy cow is horrible-& makes no sense!

Do you actually get along & enjoy seeing each other??

Remember her rant and remind her of it when she asks for financial support or online shopping.
She is a professional tight wad.

Clearly she's been indulged and allowed to act like a spoilt bratbut you can stop that now. No skin of your nose

Am I the only one jealous of non tier 3 people who can actually go out with someone else for coffee regardless of who pays

Meant to say she should not get you to buy things for her she isn't going to pay for. In future pay for your own things separately. X