My sister said I was "greedy" aibu to think I'm not?

[somethinginyoureyes]

I always help my sister out,every time we are out I will buy our Costa /Starbucks.
I lend her money and hardly get it back or when I do it will be short £20.
I know she's my sister but it does get annoying.
Anyway Monday she asked me to order her a phone cover off eBay,I did it was £7.99 and she said today when we go shopping she would get my Costa (a cup of tea and a cake ) it would have came to around £4.50.
So anyway we walk into shopping centre and she takes out £4.00 and says "I'm gonna use my cash in Costa instead of bank card"
I say "oh right I don't think £4.00 will cover it tho"
She says "I'm only getting a coffee,don't fancy a cake"
So I think I had a puzzled look on my face and say "oh right I don't have any change and don't want to use my card either"
She said "well your gonna have to if you want anything"
I said "I thought you were getting them for the £8 you owed.
She says "are you joking?,I only have £4.00 change,I don't want to use my card..fine il use my card !!"
I said "it doesn't matter,il get my own"
We go in Costa and she orders a coffee and then screams at me "what do you want"
I said "il get my own"
She said "well you made a song and dance over it,you have your bank card,why won't you just buy your own,instead of making me use mine"
I said "look I'm not arguing over £8 in future we will just get our own to save this"
She hands me a cup of tea (no cake ) and calls me a greedy cow and walks off.
Aibu to think I wasn't in the wrong?

Well next time (if you must) get her to transfer you money first but probably best if you dodn’t get yourself into the situation where she owes you money.

I would probably have to send a text saying that you don’t appreciate being called greedy and that you should both just buy your own going forward. I would then buy the most ridiculous and expensive coffees and cakes every week😀

Stop lending her money and stop going out for coffee.

Stop being so nice. She is taking the p*ss. In future no lending her money or buying phone cases or coffee. She won’t like it but she will get the message. Also, I would text her and say don’t forget you owe me £8 for the phone cover.

she's banned from eBay for not paying her eBay fees years ago

Well the answer there is you put your hand out and say “give me the money first and then I’ll get it for you”

I feel stressed just reading this! She's bleeding you dry. Just ignore her or say no. She can set up her own bloody eBay account like everyone else. You're being taken for an absolute mug. I bet you've given her thousands over the years.

Stop ordering things, buying her things etc. She knows what she's doing and she is an entitled madam.

She's 33? I thought you were going to say she's 19!

[quote somethinginyoureyes]@lottiegarbanzo she's banned from eBay for not paying her eBay fees years ago [/quote]
It’s time to tell her she pays her own way

If she can’t use eBay, she has to buy elsewhere.

She sounds like a cunt. Don't let her freeload off you anymore.

You’ll know what to do next time she asks you to lend her money or order something off her.

She is the greedy one. If you normally both have a drink and cake when you pay it seems she was deliberately trying to get out of buying you a cake. Unless she’s seriously struggling for money it’s really annoying.

I'm sure I read this on here before. Anyone else or am I going mad?

You both sound very immature for being in your 30s. I also don’t understand the concept of ‘not wanting to use your card’? Why can’t she order stuff off of eBay herself?

Or if she wants you to buy something on eBay (or anywhere), she sends you the money by PayPal first - unless she's banned from there too?!

Stop subsidising her. She's come to expect it, hence her reaction when you finally challenged her on it.

Just read she’s banned from eBay for not paying her fees. Sounds like she’s terrible with money generally, don’t lend her money again or buy her anything unless you can consider it a gift

What's the big deal about using her card?

@myhobbyisouting

I'm sure I read this on here before. Anyone else or am I going mad?

Actually so do I and the writing style was similar

Next time you go out you need to forget your card and have enough cash for your needs

Then if she asks about EBay tell her you card is blocked - keep doing I until she stops asking

Wow! She's really self involved if she can't see she's taking the piss.

Wow she's sounds awful. Stop lending her money and buying her things. Reassess your boundaries with her.

You need to stop being a doormat, she’ll bleed you dry and fuck off when you need her.

In the future, maybe as you go to order just turn and say “ I think we should each just pay for our own, so we don’t have any misunderstanding like last time” and just do that going forward.

You should have said I want coffee and cake and yes use your card! Stop letting her walk all over you!

Grown womenseething at each other in Costa is not a good look, and is bad for your soul.

Read back over the exchange.

Hindsight makes everything easy, but you were doing so well when you said 'I thought you were getting them because of the £8 you we me'. and when she said 'fine, I'll use my card' you should have said "OK, thanks, I'll have a coffee and that cake"

You were passive aggressive in saying you would get your own at that ppint. She owed you, you made the point - accept it!

And then you could have said 'look, this constant paying for things on your behalf creates these kind of complications - and to be honest it often feels as if I never quite get back what I spent. So to keep things calm and straightforward, best we do our own paying for stuff"

Do not engage in any passive aggressive come-back.

If it gets raised again, be honest and direct. Tell her that you don't want to row, you don't want to stop meeting for coffee, but you do need to stop paying for her stuff.

If she asks you to order anything in future, say 'sure - as soon as you ping me the money, I'll order it straight away'.

Be honest and direct - before it develops into a bitching match.

Gosh, so you both stood and had a shouting match in Costas over four quid and both refusing to use your card? How cringe for you both.

Personally I’d just have paid for my own coffee and stop buying her stuff after that.

Because this sort of behaviour is as childish and cringe as it gets, embarrassed for both of you.

@TeachesOfPeaches

What's the big deal about using her card?

Presumably because she is in, or close to, overdraft.