Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone else’s KNICKERS down the sofa - balance of possibilities?

268 replies

SuspiciousAboutKnickers · 01/12/2020 10:19

This incident happened a few years ago but DH recently reminded me of it Hmm.

A pair of skimpy black knickers was found by me stuffed down the side of the sofa. I’m pretty thorough on cleaning and regularly wiped down and hoovered down the sides of said (leather) sofa so they couldn’t have been there long. Sofa was quite new and bought new not secondhand.

We’d recently had our DC’s birthday party.

DH’s ‘suggestion’ was that they had dropped out of one of DC’s friend’s mothers handbags while they were sitting there waiting for party to finish. Possibly no more than 10 minutes. Would you not notice that a pair of knickers had fallen out of your handbag while sitting on a sofa though? How much moving around would you have to do to get them wedged down the side of the sofa?

AIBU to think this was very fishy?

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 01/12/2020 12:45

I once had a pair of (my own!) pants fall out of my trousers. I think they got stuck inside lose fitting yoga pants in tumble drier then fell out of when I was moving around. Embarrassing but seems unlikely in your case...

Artandlove · 01/12/2020 12:47

I have never carried a pair of pants around! Do people do this? It’s strange he would bring it up if he was having an affair though. Pants don’t just fall out of bags or pockets!

YoniAndGuy · 01/12/2020 12:48

@SilverBirchWithout

My theory is DH was using them whilst wanking. Explains why he thought about the incident when discussing his porn habit.
Yes to this.

Subconscious mental association.

Oh dear.

BoudiccaD · 01/12/2020 12:48

*DC were very young at the time so definitely not theirs! I had 3 aged 5 and under (hence having to clean the sofas!) at that time so very sleep deprived. Memory is pretty blurred of that time.

I could hardly remember the incident. He brought it up as we were discussing our relationship after I found out he had been watching porn (something he’d always denied doing) and was wondering what else he’d been up to I didn’t know about! It was in a kind of ‘remember that time you thought I was cheating on you’ way.

He then went on to recite an incident shortly afterwards when I must have told my mother about it and she had popped over while my younger sister was at mine, sister had opened the door to her, and she had immediately asked her what she was doing at mine and was I in as she shouldn’t be there if I wasn’t in.

All said as if reminiscing as if it was funny.

Can’t get it out of my head now.

I am just thinking what are the chances of them falling out of someone’s bag, never having carried knickers around myself, and it seems it does happen*

How old was your sister at the time? What's your relationship like with her? Do you trust her?

He may be trying to hint that he had a fling with your sister.

Artandlove · 01/12/2020 12:48

Oh and if they were a result of the children moving things, washing etc they would be your undies you found!

froubylou · 01/12/2020 12:53

My ddog buries bits of biscuit and yorkshire puddings down the side of the sofa, and my old dog used to bring knickers out the washing basket for visitors.

Yeahnahmum · 01/12/2020 13:01

He cheated.
And how on earth did you accept his explanation of how these knickers found their way into your couch?!

Also the fact he brought it up again now. Boy he knows youd fall for anything and stay with him no matter what.

Btw having 3 kids under 5 and being sleep deprived is not a reason to have believed his worst made up story in the history of EVER on "how a pair of knickers made it in your couch ". There are plenty of peope with 3 kids under the age of 5. But you sure as hell cant use that as an excuse for falling for his 'explanation'. That is just burrying your head in the sand and unwiling to accept what is...

lottiegarbanzo · 01/12/2020 13:02

Urgh. There's a reason why he's reminding you of it in a 'told you so' way. Either blinkered arrogance (I proved to you I was right and you were silly then, it's the same now), or association.

Somehow, he believes he 'won' that argument at the time, so it now stands as 'point proven'. Whereas you'd mostly forgotten that there was an argument and find it completely unresolved in your mind. Own goal there, OP's DH!

Of course people don't drop stuff out of their closed handbags. Except possssibly when getting something else out of the handbag e.g. dropping your tampon (or pants I suppose) on the floor, when getting out your purse, in a shop. Or your phone while on a sofa mayyybe? But you wouldn't then stuff the pants down the side of the sofa and they'd be very unlikely to fall there neatly.

That may be 'man pocket logic' mis-applied to handbags, perhaps.

(But if OP is actually a man looking for excuses, or writer for a plot-point, it's a resounding 'no' to this one).

Dreamscomingtrue · 01/12/2020 13:04

I’ve found knickers at my house, usually some months after friends or family have stayed. But usually in a spare bedroom behind a chest of draws or right at the bottom of an old laundry basket or in the airing cupboard.I’ve had 2 friends stay for a few weeks and 2 daughter in laws who’ve stayed. I know they’re not my underwear as they’re always smaller than mine!

KnotsLanding · 01/12/2020 13:06

@hotpotlover I've done that a couple of times, it is very likely

CloudPop · 01/12/2020 13:06

@MatildaonaWaltzer

we had mystery pants! Giant beige elastic ones, abandoned on the floor of our downstairs loo. We had found them before the poor, poor babysitter phoned to say she'd left them behind and could we bin them. (her reasoning was she'd come straight from work and menopausal and hot) I still cringe for her. That must've been one hell of a call to make. Lovely lady.
Oh poor thing !
RollneckJumper · 01/12/2020 13:07

Your DH has already lied to you about watching porn.. so he has a track record. Also, you believed that he didn't watch porn until you caught him.. so he is convincing. Sounds like he has been convincing enough to make you believe his explanation of how a random pair of skimpy black knickers ended up shoved down your sofa.
His explanation of them falling out of someone's bag is pathetic and laughable. I'm shocked you let this go!!

They were either shoved down there by the OW or he has bought them to wear/sniff/play with whilst wanking. My money is on an OW though.

Srslydontgiveacrap · 01/12/2020 13:12

What I've never understood is why so many mistresses forget to put knickers back on afterwards? Are they in some post coital daze and forget how to dress themselves?

WizardOfAus · 01/12/2020 13:12

OW or prostitute for sure.

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 01/12/2020 13:13

Last year of primary ds came home from PE with a pair of black Spanx in his bag! He had forgotten his shorts and his mate lent him them!!

Isthisnothing · 01/12/2020 13:15

I'm inwardly groaning at these responses. If he was inadvertently responsible for the knickers why would he raise the topic years later when it is all forgotten?

Items can and do appear in your house. A pair of size sixteen very unattractive seamless knickers once fell out from behind a radiator in my house. I was single. I never figured it out.

Another time I went to visit my boyfriend on the other side of the country. The next day I found a female's top in his bedroom. He had clearly had an overnight visitor who was wearing a few layers and left one behind. He denied it vehemently and because he was a straight talking person I shock horror believed him. I took the top as it fitted me and was quite nice. There was something familiar about it actually.

Almost a year later by pure fluke the mystery was solved. It belonged to my flatmate at home (and no she was not magically having an affair with him 400 miles away). I had somehow picked it up with my things and brought it with me. Sounds unbelievable but that's what happened.

justasking111 · 01/12/2020 13:20

@muddledmidget

My thought would be that someone had worn trousers from the dirty washing and they did that really embarrassing thing of waiting until you're in company to fall out the bottom of your trouser leg, so someone discreetly picked them up and tucked them down the side, probably meaning to take them with them when they could discreetly put their handbag nearby
That happened to me at work once in a shop full of builders Blush
TimeQuest01 · 01/12/2020 13:24

@MatildaonaWaltzer, oh, that makes more sense... ha, ha, ha

Thomasina79 · 01/12/2020 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

diddl · 01/12/2020 13:42

"I have never carried a pair of pants around! Do people do this?"

I used to on a Friday night out.

Pants, toothbrush, condoms...

Not pants, but I once found a hair slide under a sofa cushion.

Then some time later I came across the one that actuallywas mine...

DryRoastPeanut · 01/12/2020 13:43

In another parallel universe , everyday hundreds of pairs of skimpy black knickers disappear.
We live in the universe where the odd sick disappears!

I found a random pair of blue, lace, skimpy knickers in my laundry one day. They’d made it through the washing and drying unnoticed, only discovered when I was folding. I was single. I lived in a new build house. It’s a bit wooooo!

DryRoastPeanut · 01/12/2020 13:43

Sock, not sick

Zebracat · 01/12/2020 13:45

I constantly find knickers down the back of my sofa, damn dog.

diddl · 01/12/2020 13:47

@Zebracat

I constantly find knickers down the back of my sofa, damn dog.
Our dog used to pull bras off the line & bury themGrin
Original poster
SuspiciousAboutKnickers · 01/12/2020 13:54

We had no pets at that time.

If you think I’m a troll, please report Thomasina. Just because this shit doesn’t happen to you, doesn’t mean it’s doesn’t happen.

OP posts: