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Original poster

Someone else’s KNICKERS down the sofa - balance of possibilities?

268 replies

SuspiciousAboutKnickers · 01/12/2020 10:19

This incident happened a few years ago but DH recently reminded me of it Hmm.

A pair of skimpy black knickers was found by me stuffed down the side of the sofa. I’m pretty thorough on cleaning and regularly wiped down and hoovered down the sides of said (leather) sofa so they couldn’t have been there long. Sofa was quite new and bought new not secondhand.

We’d recently had our DC’s birthday party.

DH’s ‘suggestion’ was that they had dropped out of one of DC’s friend’s mothers handbags while they were sitting there waiting for party to finish. Possibly no more than 10 minutes. Would you not notice that a pair of knickers had fallen out of your handbag while sitting on a sofa though? How much moving around would you have to do to get them wedged down the side of the sofa?

AIBU to think this was very fishy?

OP posts:
Applesonthelawn · 01/12/2020 10:56

No-one ever forgets their knickers. It's the stuff of nightmares. Anyone who loses their knickers does it deliberately to send a message to the person who will find them.

lostintheday · 01/12/2020 10:57

I've never been the OW, but I could imagine a mistress, who wants the wife to find out, bringing a spare pair of knickers to the house and leaving them there. Leaving hints

Is it that common for men to take mistresses to their house though? Would have thought they would prefer mistresses not to know where they live so they can't rat them out to their wife.

If I were an OW I also think I would find it a step too far to shag in the wife's house/bed. But then maybe that's why I am unlikely to ever be an OW...

Original poster
SuspiciousAboutKnickers · 01/12/2020 10:57

DC were very young at the time so definitely not theirs! I had 3 aged 5 and under (hence having to clean the sofas!) at that time so very sleep deprived. Memory is pretty blurred of that time.

I could hardly remember the incident. He brought it up as we were discussing our relationship after I found out he had been watching porn (something he’d always denied doing) and was wondering what else he’d been up to I didn’t know about! It was in a kind of ‘remember that time you thought I was cheating on you’ way.

He then went on to recite an incident shortly afterwards when I must have told my mother about it and she had popped over while my younger sister was at mine, sister had opened the door to her, and she had immediately asked her what she was doing at mine and was I in as she shouldn’t be there if I wasn’t inHmm.

All said as if reminiscing as if it was funny.

Can’t get it out of my head now.

I am just thinking what are the chances of them falling out of someone’s bag, never having carried knickers around myself, and it seems it does happen!

OP posts:
Calmandmeasured1 · 01/12/2020 10:57

Why would your DH suddenly decide to remind you of this? What is he normally like? Is he trying to subtly erode your confidence or is he a humerous, innocent man who just thinks it is funny?

ShirleyPhallus · 01/12/2020 10:58

@BigBadVoodooHat

I’m amazed by how often MN-ers seemingly find mystery knickers in their home.

It’s never happened to a single person I know, yet barely a week goes by without a thread about random knickers turning up in someone’s house. And they’re invariably black and skimpy. 🤔.

Yes, never a chance of a pair of bridgets falling out is there
ShirleyPhallus · 01/12/2020 10:59

@SuspiciousAboutKnickers

DC were very young at the time so definitely not theirs! I had 3 aged 5 and under (hence having to clean the sofas!) at that time so very sleep deprived. Memory is pretty blurred of that time.

I could hardly remember the incident. He brought it up as we were discussing our relationship after I found out he had been watching porn (something he’d always denied doing) and was wondering what else he’d been up to I didn’t know about! It was in a kind of ‘remember that time you thought I was cheating on you’ way.

He then went on to recite an incident shortly afterwards when I must have told my mother about it and she had popped over while my younger sister was at mine, sister had opened the door to her, and she had immediately asked her what she was doing at mine and was I in as she shouldn’t be there if I wasn’t inHmm.

All said as if reminiscing as if it was funny.

Can’t get it out of my head now.

I am just thinking what are the chances of them falling out of someone’s bag, never having carried knickers around myself, and it seems it does happen!

Is the suggestion here that your mother and husband may have been up to something and the knickers belonged to her?
TheKeatingFive · 01/12/2020 11:01

Hmm, I agree the the number of people on MN finding someone else’s knickers stuffed down the sofa is somewhat on the high side.

Having said that, there is only one plausible explanation.

Knickers falling out of handbags at children’s parties is one of the silliest things I’ve ever heard.

Frenchfemme · 01/12/2020 11:02

Do you have a cat or a dog? An old cat of mine was partial to a pair of knickers or socks and was seen on several occasions swiping them from a neighbour’s clothesline and secreting them around the house. Once found a pair of very skimpy (male) undies behind the kettle, not the sort of thing you want to see first thing in the morning!

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 01/12/2020 11:03

My friend had an ex who had a small collection of previous exes knickers that he used to fiddle with and sniff while wanking.

Obv she did a complete audit of her own knickers before ditching him.

Wiredforsound · 01/12/2020 11:03

Falling down a trouser leg is a possibility. I’ve done that a few times.

YoniAndGuy · 01/12/2020 11:04

Wow how did you manage to forget that?

He's really got some brass balls hasn't he.

I was watching some FB thing the other day where they were discussing how a murderer so so often returns to where they hid a body, just to check it out. When it would be better to never go anywhere near there again. But they can't help it - it's like they reopen the risk of being associated with it, just to prove to themselves once more that yes, they got away with it.

If this happened, then your DH either cheated, or for some very unpleasant reason wanted to deliberately make you think he has. If the latter, you've got a very nasty individual in the driving seat in your relationship. Mind you, you describe yourself as sleep deprived with a 3 and 5 year old (so not night feeding age) so I can imagine what comes next - the description of a selfish man who doesn't pull his weight with poorly sleeping toddlers, for a start.

BigBadVoodooHat · 01/12/2020 11:07

Yes, never a chance of a pair of bridgets falling out is there

That’s because they’d waft slowly to the ground like a giant parachute, rather than slipping slinkily and silkily down the side of a cushion. Wink

stschiap · 01/12/2020 11:10

Inheritance issues
Weird lodger behaviour
Knickers down the sofa

These seem to be very common problems on Mumsnet at the moment. Suppose it distracts from the shouting and screaming about the COVID vaccine from both sides of that debate.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 01/12/2020 11:12

@TheKeatingFive

Hmm, I agree the the number of people on MN finding someone else’s knickers stuffed down the sofa is somewhat on the high side.

Having said that, there is only one plausible explanation.

Knickers falling out of handbags at children’s parties is one of the silliest things I’ve ever heard.

Years ago there was a MNer who accidentally sent in to school a tupperware box containing stained period knickers instead of the lunchbox....
Original poster
SuspiciousAboutKnickers · 01/12/2020 11:14

At that time I had 3 DC, twins who were around 2 and a 5 year old Yoni and he worked nights, slept in the day. Twins were terrible sleepers and I had to deal with them on my own and get older DC to school, as well as not being able to sleep well as he wasn’t there due to having a fear of being on my own at night. It was a really hard period in my life!

I can’t think that he had much time at home on his own other than a few hours in the daytime when I took twins to activity sessions or shopping.

I have a terrible memory in general whereas he always professes to have an excellent one Hmm.

I’m not suspecting my mother at all!

OP posts:
Original poster
SuspiciousAboutKnickers · 01/12/2020 11:18

As unbelievable as it sounds, this is actually true! You really couldn’t make it up. I can’t believe I let it go (I must have obviously) or forgot about it eitherConfused. I do have a habit of blocking out stuff so I assume that’s what I did.

OP posts:
Meowchickameowmeow · 01/12/2020 11:19

@hotpotlover

Could be OW marking her territory
OW are much more inclined to just pee on everything!
waitinggame108 · 01/12/2020 11:20

It was deliberate. The female wanted you to find them and question DH and probably leave him.

I once left a pair of CLEAN knickers behind a bathroom basket when at a mans house as I wasn't 100% sure he wasn't still seeing his ex.
Marking one's territory you could call it.

DougRossIsTheBoss · 01/12/2020 11:21

Leaving behind accidentally after sex. Implausible. You would obviously know you didn't have your knickers and would go to great lengths to find them surely. If knickers are left it has to be deliberate.

Falling out of handbag. Not likely. I do keep a spare pair in my bag if on my period but they are securely stashed to avoid embarrassment. Again you would know if your spare knickers fell out of your bag.

The only way I can see they could accidentally get there is falling out of a trouser leg or stuck to other clothes. That could possibly happen.

Or Small child at the party?? I recall how mortified I was when DD presented the vicar with a tampon she'd 'rescued' from my bag whilst I was talking to him about DS christening. I had let her play with stuff in there to distract her whilst we were talking. She'd unwrapped it too and wanted to show him the 'little mouse'. Still mortified thinking about that.

Why bring it up is the hardest thing to understand? You had forgotten about it so why do that? Must be that he really feels (wrongly it appears) so secure that you would never suspect him that it is funny to him. Or he is some gaslighting monster.

Lellochip · 01/12/2020 11:22

@Nicknacky

*Lellochip” Where did you find them?
In my spare bedroom. Had someone staying over, we had been shopping and our best guess was that somehow they got caught up with our shopping bags and came back in with us?! Still doesn't really explain why these poor little pants were abandoned out in public but that explanation was preferable to one where mystery children were shedding underwear inside my house!
Cheeseandwin5 · 01/12/2020 11:24

I know there is always a suspicious attitude from MNS , but I would be surprised of any partner would bring it up if they had been having affair.
If anything its more likely he was checking your reaction to see if you were having the affair!

Divebar · 01/12/2020 11:26

How old is your sister ? No chance she has a key and used your place to entertain someone?

Interestingly your DH didn’t query you about the matter. If he had no knowledge then would it not be logical to question you about it? Perhaps you’ve had a secret lover of either Male or female persuasion. I assume not but how would he know that.

To the previous posters some people would definitely have OW / OM over to the house if they can get laid. They might not shag in the marital bed but there’s always the spare room or the errrrr sofa.

BigBadVoodooHat · 01/12/2020 11:29

You really couldn’t make it up.

Eh? Anyone can make up absolutely anything at all at any point in time. Hmm

I could say that I just opened my fridge and found a rabbit in there. I just made that up. I didn’t look in the fridge or find a rabbit.

What makes a ‘knickers’ anecdote incontrovertibly non-falsifiable?

PegasusReturns · 01/12/2020 11:32

OW is most likely option.

If 25% of men cheat and let’s say a conservative 1 in 4 do so in their own home, that’s about 2 million men in the U.K. shagging on their sofa with someone that isn’t their wife.

Seems entirely reasonable that a few pairs of knickers would be left lying around, deliberate or otherwise.

GabriellaMontez · 01/12/2020 11:37

Were they clean?

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