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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think the Catholic Church should take itself off?

133 replies

HolyMalign · 30/11/2020 00:38

My daddy grew up in a Catholic institution.

I was born in the 70s and we didn't talk about things. I went to church every week, I prayed, I did what you did. But I had a pretty ropey home life and I hated my daddy for it.

It was only when I was an adult that I realised what his childhood was like and why he was so messed up. So I understand, but it's affected me. And it's certainly affected my daddy.

In the last few years I've been following women who have uncovered even more terrible things that the church did, even worse than would have happened to my daddy. Babies in sewers and mass graves. It is disgusting.

But still these fuckers tell people what to do and have such a hold on their lives.

My daddy is in his seventies now and won't have a word said against the church that fucked him over. There must be so many people like him. It's brainwashing. The church has done nothing for him but abuse him and cause him misery and he is not alone. There are millions of other former children and living women out there who have similarly suffered.

Why do we let these people have such power still when we now know they are abusive rapist murderers?

OP posts:
HolyMalign · 30/11/2020 01:12

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MayDayFightsBack · 30/11/2020 01:18

I agree.

DramaAlpaca · 30/11/2020 01:23

YANBU, of course you're not.

You probably aren't getting much response because there isn't too much traffic on here at this time of night.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad's awful experiences and yours too Flowers

NiceGerbil · 30/11/2020 01:42

Agree. I was raised RC In England. Just for info.

There is just so much.

The things done around the world in the name of this term religion are awful. Women being imprisoned for miscarrying. For example.

On the whole

Don't use condoms at height of HIV, pushed hard in Africa
Abortion
Child abuse

Those three things alone have resulted in so much harm. Death. Illness. Appalling treatment of women and girls.

In USA apparently a lot of hosps are RC and women die more than they need to in late pregnancy and childbirth due to abortion stance.

And then you have the global child sex abuse of children. The men facilitated. The cover ups. Even when it came out. The inability to take responsibility/ apologise. It anything. Some things I've read have tried to blame the children.

It's a nope from me op. Yes other religions do shit but that's not the point. Their reach and power and what they have done with it is gross.

symphysiotomy. Records destroyed. No apology. Fuck off.

NiceGerbil · 30/11/2020 01:55

Agree lack of responses is cos late.

Be aware that there are some posters who are staunch supporters who will be along tomorrow probably.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/11/2020 01:58

So many children were abused because of the unquestionable nature of the Church. No institution should be above human beings.

Kokeshi123 · 30/11/2020 02:13

The Catholic Church has done many awful things. However:

My daddy is in his seventies now and won't have a word said against the church that fucked him over.

It sounds like you and your father have been discussing this. Who is bringing the topic up--you or him? If you are raising the topic and pressuring him to somehow renounce or say bad things about his religion, I suggest you stop this and give the subject a rest. It's not up to you what he chooses to believe in. If he is the one starting the conversation (nagging you to go to Mass or whatever, I suggest that you state politely that you don't want to and don't want to discuss the Catholic Church any further. Repeat until the message gets through.

Arguing with friends and family about religion is pointless and only gets people upset.

Lexie365 · 30/11/2020 02:25

yabu. nobody is denying a lot of bad stuff has happened with in the catholic church which of course upsets ANYONE catholic or not but people always seem to forget the good it does. i am a Roman catholic and so so very proud and happy to be so. my nephew has recently been diagnosed with leukemia and without our faith my family would not cope and i feel really sorry for people who do not have that faith. my faith is my life and has brought me nothing but good and i really hope ye all find that in your lives.

lelamix563 · 01/12/2020 22:31

It's disgusting, isn't it? That they think they're some sort or moral authority.

Although it's not just Catholics. In Australia, the Jehovah's Witnesses might lose their tax-exempt status over their own history of covering up child abuse.

Original poster
HolyMalign · 05/12/2020 01:35

Agreed it's not just the Catholic church but that's what I'm talking about.

And no @Kokeshi123 I've never spoken with my dad about this. I don't even know how I'd start that conversation. He's hinted, I've made noises, but we've never been open about it. Like the church itself really.

OP posts:
Original poster
HolyMalign · 05/12/2020 01:37

And, being blunt, he won't be around forever. And he's never going to talk about it. But someone should. Not me, but someone should tell these children's stories.

OP posts:
jessstan1 · 05/12/2020 02:06

There are plenty of stories surrounding the Industrial schools and homes of various types, especially in Ireland.

Rostbif · 05/12/2020 02:09

I agree with you OP

OfaFrenchmind2 · 05/12/2020 02:17

Nice to see that bashing the Papists is still well in force for the Brits.

WankPuffins · 05/12/2020 02:26

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AddisonM · 05/12/2020 02:31

I agree with you OP.

MayDayFightsBack · 05/12/2020 02:32

@OfaFrenchmind2

Nice to see that bashing the Papists is still well in force for the Brits.
Nothing to do with English anti-Catholicism. I was baptised a Catholic and went to Catholic Schools. I can’t stand the Catholic Church, it is corrupt, hypocritical and dangerous. Are you really sure it’s safeguarding is fit for purpose even now because I don’t believe it is.
Fuckitsstillraining · 05/12/2020 02:38

I'm catholic, not a mass goer but I have faith. What happened in the past was horrible, wrong, disgusting and every other word that could describe it but at 50 years of age I have only seen the better side of the church. Age 7 I met the new curate in our parish, he was great, really into sports, got involved in our rural school, got a sports club going, got permission from the nearby private school to give swimming lessons in their pool, drove children all over the country to sports events and continued this until he was no longer able to due to old age. He was there for my communion, confirmation, christened my child (born 17 years before I got married) and happily he was able to perform the ceremony when I got married, he supported so many in our parish and was loved, there is still a sporting event annually in his memory. Other priests in the same parish have been just as good but in different ways, one was known for putting envelopes of money through the letter boxes of people who needed it, another discretely facilitated a mother to leave her abusive husband along with her children, he made all the arrangements and organised a place for her to live in a different part of Ireland, this was at a time when leaving your spouse was rare, I've had nothing but good interactions with the catholic church and I spoke to one priest about the abuse when it was at last made public, it was breaking his heart, he loved the church but was disgusted with the cover ups etc. I really felt for him, he was elderly at this stage and said he now hated going where he wasn't known in case people thought he was like the abusive members of the church. He was one of the nicest people I've ever known. Maybe I've been lucky but while I feel nothing but disgust for what happened, I cannot blame the current priests for what happened.

1forAll74 · 05/12/2020 02:44

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alexdgr8 · 05/12/2020 02:55

OP you are obviously upset by all these issues.
but re your father, i would say, don't take him for granted, try to show him extra care, and love and respect.
because he won't have had much of that being brought up in institutions. let him have his own views and beliefs, that's up to him. you just big him up on every occasion.
wish i could still do that.
as to the main thrust of your comment, maybe you could get involved in some campaigning or support groups, to direct your anger into activity, otherwise it will go round and round in your head, to no good effect.
all the best.

Casschops · 05/12/2020 03:02

I think you are in many ways correct OP but I don't think it is the Catholic church per say. It appears to be institutions as a whole with cover ups at every level. Im Cof E and things are consistently being discovered about this in my religion too. Makes me sick to the core but sadly it appears that this abuse has taken place in many non religious groups too. My view is that we need to speak out against whoever has caused pain and abused children wherever they are in a hierarchy and say this is not our religion it is a system that allows this to be covered up.
We do need to be critical of organisations regardless of who they are, to be answerable, safeguard people and to be proactive rather than reactive. Sorry your dad had a shit time OP.

Monty27 · 05/12/2020 04:31

OP I was raised as Catholic and raised my DC's the same.
However since then the Catholic church has rumbled and none of us darken the door of a church these days.
I agree with you.

flaviaritt · 05/12/2020 06:39

Let me get it straight: you believe a religious institution loved by millions around the world, that you are not forced to have anything to do with, should - what? - disband immediately on your say-so?

Erm... YABU.

Arraysstartatzero · 05/12/2020 10:28

@flaviaritt

Let me get it straight: you believe a religious institution loved by millions around the world, that you are not forced to have anything to do with, should - what? - disband immediately on your say-so?

Erm... YABU.

Yes, that's exactly what OP is saying. 🙄
Apandemicyousay · 05/12/2020 10:45

I’m with @Casschops. It’s the same in many institutions with hierarchy esp over the vulnerable. Abusers find routes to power and that’s what needs dealing with. I totally agree Catholic Church has had some terrible policies and behaviour, and no doubt still ongoing in places. However, aspects of religion give people peace, friendship, community etc and that maybe what your uncle experiences.