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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be amazed they've released Mairead Philpott?

874 replies

MarylinMonrue · 29/11/2020 17:02

After serving half her sentence for the arson attack? Apparently even a source from the prison was a shocked at the leniency and the fact she's going to get a new identity and protection. Six children in that fire - is there such a thing as justice in this country anymore?

OP posts:
leopardspotsdotdotdot · 29/11/2020 19:11

@Foxinthechickencoop

I’ve only read the first page I’m afraid. But I’m saddened.

Mariad was a victim of the most serious and terrifying coercive and violent control and abuse , she had mild learning difficulties and was extremely vulnerable and mick philpott was the worst kind of abuser both mentally and emotionally. She was younger than him, reliant on him for money, and had been groomed and conditioned by him for years. She was terrified of him and yes he probably would have killed her if she spoke up.
The original plan wasn’t to kill the children, but to make it look like someone who Phil was issue with subjected them to an arson attack. It went horribly wrong. Do you think that she had much say or choice in what happened then or next. She lost her children. She is a victim of domestic abuse and coercive control. And she was repeatedly failed by mental health services, and acute care in the hospital. After several suicide attempts and trips to emergency department over many years before these awful events of the fire, no one bothered to explore the reason behind them. Or picked up on the many many red flags.

Obviously as a mother she should have left and protected her children. To what... hand them over to Mick for sole unsupervised care half the time? You only have to read a few threads in relationships here to see that well educated women with their own money and lots of support and men much less scary, have trouble trying to leave abusive relationships. Mentally and practically. Add mental health issue, learning difficulties, no money, limited education and no emotional or practical support and you are pretty trapped.

I’ve read the review, as part of the multi agency domestic abuse awareness groups I attend. It’s terrifying and unbelievably sad. And could happen to anyone, really.

I agree with you.
Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/11/2020 19:11

Because she sobbed following the deaths of her children that she was complicit in, she's not guilty? If Mick would have cried would that have been OK?

Mick did cry - or rather pretended to; they both did all through the press conference

And I don't suppose I was alone in watching it and thinking "yeah, right ..."

Lockheart · 29/11/2020 19:12

@pinkdragons

Completely disgusting that they have let her out at all. But less than half her sentence? No justice at all.

Murdered multiple children.

She's still serving her sentence. Please don't confuse 'not in gaol' with 'free'.
Pumperthepumper · 29/11/2020 19:12

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@Pumperthepumper but painting her as a victim makes us apologists. The word victim in itself implies that we should feel sorry for her and treat her differently than if she hadn't have been a victim of Mick's.[/quote]
We should feel sorry for her. We should learn from this, we should learn what coercion and vulnerability leads to. Instead of just letting her rot and never trying to stop it happening again. Just waiting for more victims to appear.

Foxinthechickencoop · 29/11/2020 19:12

@itsgettingweird of course many people with learning difficulties don’t lie. Just like many people without don’t. Of course I know that. The point I am making is, that the fact she was able to tell lies isn’t proof that she didn’t have mild learning difficulties and that she could then decide micks plan was terrible. She probably did know it was a terrible idea. But she was completely broken and beaten and brainwashed.

Wheresmykimchi · 29/11/2020 19:12

[quote Foxinthechickencoop]@GabsAlot he would have killed her if she did that. She couldn’t just leave. Go where?!
And remember she’s been groomed and conditioned by him. She had learning difficulties. He told her it would ‘be fine’ and they’d get the kids out. So he’d look like a hero. It’s just not as simple as you say. I wish it was . It should be. But it isn’t.
Also the kind of lifestyle mick led. And her by association, meant that they had no trust in the police or social services or all the people who could have protected her.[/quote]
This will sound brutal , but it is a mother's role to protect her children. At any cost.

ilovesooty · 29/11/2020 19:13

@AgeLikeWine

You can see at the press conference that she is absolutely broken and hope he counters on, thanking this person and that person as if he has been given an Oscar. Very occasionally he remembers to pretend to cry a bit, but she is absolutely wrecked with sobs throughout.

So she’s a better actor than he is. So what? She still helped him kill her own children, and she is as guilty as he is.

She should be released onto Derby market place on a Saturday afternoon. Let the people of Derby decide what to do with her.

That last sentence is appalling. Vigilante justice has no place in a civilised society.
Foxinthechickencoop · 29/11/2020 19:13

No one is excusing her actions. But surely there has to be some understanding.

Foxinthechickencoop · 29/11/2020 19:14

...of what led her to go along with what she did.

Wheresmykimchi · 29/11/2020 19:14

@Pumperthepumper we don't need to release her in order to use her story to educate. We don't need her back in society to be able to learn those things.

If what you say is true , there is nothing to stop her doing something like this again.

Wheresmykimchi · 29/11/2020 19:14

@Foxinthechickencoop

No one is excusing her actions. But surely there has to be some understanding.
But this isn't about understanding. It's about whether or not she should be free. Why she did what she did is not relevant here.
ilovesooty · 29/11/2020 19:16

She is not free. She is under licence.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 29/11/2020 19:16

@Wrongsideofhistorymyarse

He's the one that killed those children. Her crime isn't as bad.
Jesus. Knew it wouldn’t take long for someone defending her to rock up!!! Do you really believe the shit you spout or are you trying to be controversial?!?
Wheresmykimchi · 29/11/2020 19:16

@Puzzledandpissedoff

Because she sobbed following the deaths of her children that she was complicit in, she's not guilty? If Mick would have cried would that have been OK?

Mick did cry - or rather pretended to; they both did all through the press conference

And I don't suppose I was alone in watching it and thinking "yeah, right ..."

No. I had similar feelings towards Shannon Matthews mother.
Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/11/2020 19:16

She continued the relationship with the third person jailed for this fire....from behind bars....her own choice!!

I didn't know about this, though if it's true I've no doubt we'll be told she was "traumatised" and "didn't understand"

I wonder, though, why it was considered appropriate to allow her to do that

Wheresmykimchi · 29/11/2020 19:18

@Puzzledandpissedoff

She continued the relationship with the third person jailed for this fire....from behind bars....her own choice!!

I didn't know about this, though if it's true I've no doubt we'll be told she was "traumatised" and "didn't understand"

I wonder, though, why it was considered appropriate to allow her to do that

Because she had mild learning difficulties. Mild. PPs are speaking as if the woman couldn't leave the house unaided. Maybe she felt she had no choice , but she knew what she was doing. And that's why I don't consider her a victim and don't think the apologising for her does anyone any favours.
flaviaritt · 29/11/2020 19:18

Well, I don’t feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for the person she was before she was complicit in the murder of six kids. But she was competent to refuse. She was not forced into her actions. So I feel sorry for them, not her.

Wheresmykimchi · 29/11/2020 19:18

@flaviaritt

Well, I don’t feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for the person she was before she was complicit in the murder of six kids. But she was competent to refuse. She was not forced into her actions. So I feel sorry for them, not her.
Mark the date , we agree on something Grin
itsgettingweird · 29/11/2020 19:19

@Bluntness100

People need to remember that to be able to stand trial you need to be able to understand the difference between right and wrong. If you cannot do this, due to your learning difficulties you are deemed not fit to stand trial.

She was deemed fit to stand trial. So she knew the difference between right snd wrong. And she had sufficient iq to understand the risks associated with her actions and that what she was doing to cover it up, the whole sordid tale, was wrong when she was doing it. She has no excuse there.

She may not have meant for her children to die, but she knew what she was agreeing to and she knew the risks, and she also knew what she was doing and why when she attempted to cover up their murder.

That’s why she went to jail. And that’s why she stood trial.

Well said. What I was trying to say but better than I did!

She understood right from wrong and cause and effect.

She had enough of an IQ to run a household.

I don't disagree she was abused. She knew the real risks of agreeing to start the fire though and lied to everyone afterwards in the final disrespect to her children's memory.

Pumperthepumper · 29/11/2020 19:20

@GetOffYourHighHorse

'What would you call someone who was raped and beaten almost daily? Who was forced to give sexual favours to her husband’s friends? Of course she was a victim.'

Yes a victim of domestic violence. However that does not excuse her involvement in the murders of her children which some seem to think it does. Apologisers I think we call them.

It doesn’t excuse it. It means we can draw a picture of how she was in the position of murdering her own children, and learn from it.
LadyJaye · 29/11/2020 19:20

Philosophical question here - do you think she should have (based on on the likelihood of what we, as a society, understand about what happens to women who say no to their abusers) essentially have offered herself up as a murder victim?

Autumnblooms · 29/11/2020 19:20

She isn’t very sharp and she was under complete control of the husband.

Living with it won’t be a problem as she probably doesn’t fully get what she’s done as how dense can you be to let your husband set fire to your house with your kids inside.

She should be locked up forever.

Then kids never stood a chance anyway. Shame.

MrsShelton · 29/11/2020 19:20

This reply has been deleted

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LoveMyKidsAndCats · 29/11/2020 19:21

Shocking she is out. You obviously just don't get long for murdering 6 people nowadays. Guess their lifes weren't thought of meaning much.

Pumperthepumper · 29/11/2020 19:21

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@Pumperthepumper we don't need to release her in order to use her story to educate. We don't need her back in society to be able to learn those things.

If what you say is true , there is nothing to stop her doing something like this again.[/quote]
I doubt there is, I doubt there’s enough staff or money or programmes or help to stop her getting pregnant again almost immediately. That doesn’t mean she wasn’t a victim of abuse.