London or France? Wanna get out of Sweden

[Almondmilk]

Here is my recurring dilemma: I'm French, lived 8 years in London, left 6 years ago. I still miss London. It's been 6 years that I live in Stockholm and I really dislike the cold and dark climate and above all the confirmism and introvert behaviours. Husband is Swedish. We have a young child. I would never have another child in Sweden so I can stay light on my feet. I also should mention that I am in the arts, freelancing and it's not easy to find regular jobs.

What is the best thing to do in your opinion:
1-move back to London or a city close to London
2-move back to France and drag the husband there
3-find another 3rd place

If you have ever read a similar post from me, please be kind, I just need to chat.
Can't wait to read your opinions.

Well, glad to learn a new word- "plastician"!

I was going to suggest Vienna or Berlin, as alternatives- a neutral place might be the best, as you'd both be at the same disadvantage/advantage IYSWIM.
Is the husband situation that he is fed up of you being fed up of Stockholm? Or is the relationship over? Hard to go if you separate and he is forced to travel to see his child, that would be completely unfair.

Another vote for Belgium. I love Brussels, and the other cities I've visited over there. Then again I'm a complete Europhile and would happily live in almost any other European country than this increasingly racist little island right now.

Or maybe Malmö instead?

Treacle- I'm guessing you've not lived in Paris then, if you think Britain is racist...

I know you said you don’t want a fourth language but you could still consider Amsterdam. Most speak English. My dh is from the east of Holland which has much more of a dialect and the second language is mostly German.
We are heading to France though, as soon as humanly possible, to escape brexit. I’ve never been so grateful to have British and EU passports. Such a shame for what the uk is doing to its reputation and economy!
Anyway good luck.

I wouldn't move to the UK. It's become such an unfriendly little island with a racist government.

I think that’s an unfair sweeping statement. I don’t think EVERYONE in the UK is unfriendly and ALL Gov ministers and their departmental staff are racists.

Some of us are quite nice.

I was thinking about Malmö too, nemeton. It does get a negative press and they have had some problems with gang culture lately, but my nephew has just finished his studies there and he thought it was a generally really nice place, with much more of a continental vibe. The other possibility is Copenhagen: the husband might not think of that as abroad so might be more open to that.

MirsGrindah, while I 100% agree with what you say, the truth is that anyone looking to settle in the UK now can't ignore an increasingly hostile Home Office. You've got to go through them to some extent and you will be very vulnerable, particularly if you're in the creative arts and your income may not be guaranteed.

I'd consider Dublin. Good travel links and in the EU

OP can’t go for intermittent status as she doesn’t work in le spectacle. The clue is in the name I’m not a fan of macron but I suspect the arts sector will be better served under him than under the Tories in the UK when all this is over. Most artsy people in Paris are now congregating in Montreuil, Les Lilas and Pantin.

Artiste plasticien = visual artist btw

I've lived in both in Paris and London and unless you are fluent in french (and you say your husband is not) then it will be hard for him to settle make friends and find work.
London is more cosmopolitan I find, larger and after covid is sorted hopefully will be full of opportunities.
You miss London, your husband doesn't want to move to France, Brexit aside there seems only one obvious choice!

LoveandHateWhatABeautifulComb how rude?! I was replying to another poster and I think you’ll find that actually people HAVE commented on this for example CurlyhairedAssassin’s post says:
‘you don't feel like you can go out safely after dark.....’ meaning London. Thanks for attacking me though, have a nice day!

Yes I should mention that my husband doesn't like me anymore.

Isn't this the crux of the matter? If your marriage is crumbling, you better settle in the/a country where you want to stay. If your marriage breaks down, i think it will be very hard to leave any country, if your dh has any interest in shared custody. So perhaps work fast to get to live in the uk or any other place but Sweden.

@giantangryrooster

Yes I should mention that my husband doesn't like me anymore.

Isn't this the crux of the matter? If your marriage is crumbling, you better settle in the/a country where you want to stay. If your marriage breaks down, i think it will be very hard to leave any country, if your dh has any interest in shared custody. So perhaps work fast to get to live in the uk or any other place but Sweden.

I was thinking this statement seems to have been chucked in casually but it’s important!

Have you considered Amsterdam? Warmer, lighter and the people are more cheerful. Great standard of living and the kids in NL are the happiest in Europe. You can commute for short contract work in London and Brussels / Germany if you need to. Everyone speaks perfect English and there's a great expat community for a grumpy spouse to get stuck into.

@@Almondmilk, if you are not getting on with your DH, I think you will have to think very carefully there.
If I was at his place, I would drag my feet to go anywhere. Because once you have both moved, he will be stuck there.
Just like you will be if you get divorced in Sweden (unsure of what the laws are there re divorce etc...)

I would start by seeing a lawyer and understand what you can and can’t do. I would also think hard about where to move because. You would be stuck there for many years. You won’t get to try it out first

LTB

I think Berlin has potential too and side-steps the Brexit issues in the UK.

I don't agree with those who said Dublin unless you both have quite a lot of money.

Exactly @IrishMamaMia

Locate To Berlin. That's what I meant to say but got distracted with the baby.

I was not keen on Paris when I visited (massively overrated), but...
Living a commutable distance in some nicer area wouldn't be so bad.

I would not immigrate to the UK at the moment if I was chosing now.

Nantes is quite arty isnt it, or maybe Nice. Theres also places like Angouleme which are famous for stuff like comic books and animation, but fairly cheap

I was not keen on Paris when I visited (massively overrated)

I'm presuming you cast no shadow, don't show up in mirrors and automatic doors ignore you. Either that or you stayed fairly near Montmartre.

Nice isn’t arty in the least!