London or France? Wanna get out of Sweden

[Almondmilk]

Here is my recurring dilemma: I'm French, lived 8 years in London, left 6 years ago. I still miss London. It's been 6 years that I live in Stockholm and I really dislike the cold and dark climate and above all the confirmism and introvert behaviours. Husband is Swedish. We have a young child. I would never have another child in Sweden so I can stay light on my feet. I also should mention that I am in the arts, freelancing and it's not easy to find regular jobs.

What is the best thing to do in your opinion:
1-move back to London or a city close to London
2-move back to France and drag the husband there
3-find another 3rd place

If you have ever read a similar post from me, please be kind, I just need to chat.
Can't wait to read your opinions.

MoChridhe this melodrama about how terrifying London is does seem to be common on mumsnet. I lived there until last year and would regularly run alone at night and not once did I feel threatened in any way. I’m now in a naice Home Counties town and often find myself more creeped out running in the dark because there isn’t a single person around so no one would know if anything bad happened to me!!

London is such an international city so I wouldn't worry to much about Brexit doom mongers

It's not doom mongering to point out that they will need visas to come to London. It's NOT going to be a international city anymore, in the way that it was, that's literally the point.

Everywhere is a bit dark and depressing at the moment, with Covid dominating people's lives and people in all countries keeping themselves to themselves. Could that be clouding your view? The London you remember from a few years ago doesn't exist right now. And we're about to be screwed by Brexit.

I have a somewhat idealised view of France, and so if I were French, I would go to a big city with nice weather like Marseille or perhaps Lyon. Mainly for quality of life.

Swede living in England here and i do get you OP. I think sweden can be a really hard place to live for non Swedes. I love my home country of course but i know a lot of non Swedes who struggle with all the things you mention above. London has a great expat community for swedes so i think it could be a great compromise however there is the issue of brexit. What does your DH do. Could he get a work permit here?

MoChridhe this melodrama about how terrifying London is does seem to be common on mumsnet. I lived there until last year and would regularly run alone at night and not once did I feel threatened in any way. I’m now in a naice Home Counties town and often find myself more creeped out running in the dark because there isn’t a single person around so no one would know if anything bad happened to me!!

WTF are you talking about? Nobody has commented on the relative safety of London, its about the difficulties of moving there as a non Brit.

Doomongers? its not an opnion its a fact that you cant just move freely here anymore

London’s going to be hard to settle in as most people have mentioned, with Brexit, plus the arts scene has been decimated. It will take a while to get back to full strength.

Paris is such an acquired taste. I loved it until I went to live there...

How about Nice? Beautifully situated, amazing weather, centre of cultural scene in South of France, possible to get work as a teacher, Marseilles and Aix are not commutable, but mean there’s more work in that sector.

Hmmm. The British also can be conformist and introverted so I’m not sure the contrast with Sweden would be that huge and the weather not always any better. For gregariousness and warmth you’d be better off in Dublin, Glasgow or even Belfast, which few people consider but has a lot going for it as far as I’m concerned, admittedly I only went there once and for all of a week, to do voluntary work, but I loved it. Schools in N.I. are also generally better than in England. But obviously none of those places has great weather, a Belfast girl I knew said she never wore her summer clothes unless she was abroad on holiday.
As a pp said maybe Marseille?

As someone who has alternated living for at least two years between various districts of London both south and north of the river and rural counties in the UK from Cornwall, Somerset, Sussex, Midlothian and Warwickshire, I have always felt safer in London.

In fact it is more that I have never felt unsafe there. It helped that I got around those places and learned what was OK and what was not from a young age.

In rural villages and hamlets, there is theft, racketeering and very visible fly-tipping. Criminals feel safer in the countryside because we have so little cctv coverage.

Kinda sad that second child would prevent you from being light on your feet?

France! Why on earth would anyone want to move to this shitty Brexitty country!

Glasgow or Edinburgh for at least a couple of years. Easy to travel between the two. Two international airports. Every year Edinburgh has the biggest arts festival in the world what better place to network and get your work seen.

Just at the moment, I’d say London is out. Once we (hopefully!!!) have a FTA, it might be that rules will change again. And moving will be easier.

France... well it’s france and hard to move back to once you’ve lived abroad for a while (I’m French btw).

So I’m wondering...

• what other places would be good for you work wise?
• would your DH happy learn another language? Would you?
• could he find a job quite easily (also true for France....)

@randomer

Kinda sad that second child would prevent you from being light on your feet?

Just a statement of fact.

OP if you still have friends here, wouldn’t regular visits make more sense and be a lot cheaper!

France. But then I’m a Remainer.

And btw, if LOndon is out because of brexit, so is Glasgow, Edinburgh and any other town in the UK....

(That’s for all the posters suggesting those places)

I think artists are looked after better in France. What about another french city or town with a cultural and arty feel.

What @LoveandHateWhatABeautifulComb said
London was an international city, you still need a visa to get in as funnily enough it's part of the U.K.

I'm surprised by this. I would have thought Stockholmers would be very outgoing, open-minded and creative people. What are they actually like?

@AcornAutumn, tbh when you struggle in a country like the OP seems to be, going back home often makes things even harder. Each time you are reminded of what you are missing and what awaits you ‘at home’.

I love london, so I’m biased but you could get a great deal on property in London right now. Get something with a garden or great roof terrace?

Is there a reason Berlin isn’t on your list? Too cold?

Paris never appeals to me. London is soo cosmopolitan and I liked it there but not sure if i would want to raise a family there. (and it,s expensive.) What about other french cities, or Edinbrough. If you have French links it makes more sense to live there then uk.

Wow, thanks all for your replies. I need them!

@PicsInRed Yes I should mention that my husband doesn't like me anymore. Which makes everything more difficult!

I will def wait until Covid and Brexit to go anywhere anyway. Maybe it would be more comfortable to move to my homeland even if it's less exciting. I'm really worried with having husband at home jobless though! It would be hard for him to find a job.

@MumInBrussels so kind of you. I have considered Bruxelles but I have never been so I don't know what I'm talking about. People seem pretty friendly there and the connection to France and UK is good.

@CurlyhairedAssassin I would cope with no money just because we now live in 40m2.....so I don't see it getting worst than that!

@zafferana People aren't friendly in Paris tbh!

@Kerry987 'Can you go to London for a few weeks and apply for pre settlement before 31st of December? That will help you keep your opinions opened?' I would need an address for that. I did think of it before Covid happened. Even considered renting a room. Now it's too late. Not sure it was possible anyway.
I can't accept to stay in Sweden, no way.

@Beecham I tought of Marseille or Nice yes. Being close to other fun countries too.

You guys have spoiled me with replies

@Abracadabra12345 lol