London or France? Wanna get out of Sweden

[Almondmilk]

Here is my recurring dilemma: I'm French, lived 8 years in London, left 6 years ago. I still miss London. It's been 6 years that I live in Stockholm and I really dislike the cold and dark climate and above all the confirmism and introvert behaviours. Husband is Swedish. We have a young child. I would never have another child in Sweden so I can stay light on my feet. I also should mention that I am in the arts, freelancing and it's not easy to find regular jobs.

What is the best thing to do in your opinion:
1-move back to London or a city close to London
2-move back to France and drag the husband there
3-find another 3rd place

If you have ever read a similar post from me, please be kind, I just need to chat.
Can't wait to read your opinions.

@Floralprints Stockholm looks fabulous on a 4 days trip. Living there is very different. People are very introverts, barely say hello to neighbours, freak out if you start a chat with them. Winter last 7 months. Summer is fine, never too hot but way too short. Food wise I prefer UK for the diversity. I know every single item in the supermarket. I am bored! Huge lack of humour and seduction.

I'm a plastician artist

As in: work with metal, work with polymers or work in the plasticism movement?

This thread has made me feel sad, to think that so many people who could contribute massively to the quality of life in the UK will now find it difficult to come here.

I hope you find somewhere to move to that meets the needs of you and your partner OP, but I think the UK will be going downhill fast with the combined effects of Covid and Brexit, so it being difficult to move here may well turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

[quote Almondmilk]@Floralprints Stockholm looks fabulous on a 4 days trip. Living there is very different. People are very introverts, barely say hello to neighbours, freak out if you start a chat with them. Winter last 7 months. Summer is fine, never too hot but way too short. Food wise I prefer UK for the diversity. I know every single item in the supermarket. I am bored! Huge lack of humour and seduction.[/quote]
Now that sounds my perfect place...I knew it!

[quote Almondmilk]@PicsInRed yes, and he won't get anywhere unless in his words "you sort out job and flat"[/quote]
I think given you've 32 days to Brexit completion, and you are all EU citizens without British citizenship, France is the only realistic option. Would he consent to a 3rd country with reasonable English, e.g. Austria? I'm reading between the lines that he's "difficult" and you're stuck living in his country, so

Haven't you posted about this before?

I would wait a few months until the Covid-19 vaccines are out and there's been time for the dust to settle on Brexit (tbh, this will be an ongoing and painful process, but the immediate consequences will be felt).

Given the headache of visa's, insurance and the like across Europe, I would recommend Paris to take advantage of the Freedom of Movement and then use London as your working base.

Haven't you posted about this before?
Sorry - just saw you said that yourself! If the weather is a problem, what about further south? Sounds like you need to get husband on your side though.

Have you considered Brussels? I'm not the biggest fan of the city, but it's easy for French speakers and English speakers to navigate, has similar weather to London, there's probably a sizeable Swedish community if your husband/child are interested in that. Commutable to both London and Paris for work (Brexit permitting) and may well have openings in the arts either here or in Antwerp. Bit of a nightmare bureaucratically for freelancers, but Paris might not be brilliant in that regard either. (There's some organisation I came across a few years ago that helps deal with the bureaucracy for arts freelancers, for a hefty fee no doubt - if it's of interest, give me a shout and I'll try and dig out the details...) It's not the same as London or Paris, but it has its charms and it's much cheaper, so might be worth thinking about?

London has changed a great deal in 6 years

Have you been back? Important to feel you still like it.

You've posted about this before, haven't you? Was all the advice given then dud?

If you're not loaded, how will you cope with London house prices? Are you prepared to live in a shitty area? Your husband and kids won't thankyou if they didn't want to move there in the first place, you have a much smaller flat and you don't feel like you can go out safely after dark.....

Stockholm looks fabulous on a 4 days trip. Living there is very different. People are very introverts, barely say hello to neighbours, freak out if you start a chat with them......Huge lack of humour and seduction.

Worse than London? Bloody hell.

I have a solution: move to Kingston upon Hull. Cheap as chips to live, thriving arts scene, friendlier than That London. Slightly colder than London but it's character building.

Is it because there's no Swedish people there any more?

I think you'll find that Sweden is full to bursting with Swedish people, but nice try

OP. how are you going to move to the UK with a husband that doesn't want to go, a child who's father doesn't want them to go, and no pre-settled status? You're not.

If you can get a job offer, you can get a visa. Yes it would be much easier if you could move before 1 January and yes the visa is expensive, but the new Skilled Worker visa is significantly easier than the current Tier 2 visa.

I think you should write off London, you will find it very difficult to get in due to the brexit crisis. Paris sounds like a great option, if you can get your DH to go. You mentioned people being introverted in Stockholm and the neighbours not talking, but London isn't that different, it can be very isolating despite being so busy. If you have a low budget chances are you'll be living in a small, crappy apartment with no outdoor space in a rough part of London, is that what you want? Out of interest, when did you last to go London? It's changed a lot (for the worse) lately.

you cant just move to london im afriad with brexit deadline in a month you would need a sold job offer and right now theyre few and far between

We left the UK two years ago and while I still miss it and would love to move back at some point, we wouldn't move back until the repercussions of Brexit are clearer.
I'd probably go for France in your position. Alternatively, try some other place in Europe. We live in Germany and it seems a lot more stable than the UK at the moment.

Come to London. Damn brexit and brexiteers

If you're French and you want to move to London you have one month in which to do it ... so are you ready to move right now?

If not, I'd move back to France. Paris is amazing, but actually as a terrorist target it's not good and I'm not sure I'd want to live there and raise a family there right now. What about other big cities in France? Does your Swedish DH speak French?

I don't get all this London has changed for the worse. I have never enjoyed it as much as this year. We have done all the touristy bits plenty of times over the summer up until the recent lockdown. The lack of crowds has been amazing and no we have never been scared for our lives after dark.

Can you go to London for a few weeks and apply for pre settlement before 31st of December? That will help you keep your opinions opened?

How old is your child? I read another of your posts and it seems you are very unhappy in Sweden but you are a bit stuck because of work and your child so unless you can persuade your husband to move or divorce the only option is accept living in Sweden and try to be happy there until your child is an adult and try to find some positives where you live and focus on them or move and start again.

Sorry - just noticed you say he's beginner level. In that case, what would his job prospects be in France? If he wants to do an intensive French course I can wholeheartedly endorse the Institut Francais, although I don't know if they're running any of their courses at the moment with Covid. Their total immersion programmes are amazing though.

You DH is your child’s father correct? Just got a bit confused by other posters so wanted to confirm you only need to get one person on board not two?

If you can get to the UK I’d also second that Bristol is far more arty than London. Also, perhaps Brighton. Both have v fast trains to central London for weekend trips or ad hoc work requirements. However...it doesn’t sound like UK is necessarily going to be possible.

Rather than Paris could you go slightly south of the city like perhaps Chartres or Provins?

Think someone else suggested Belgium may be a good option. Well connected and could live in a french speaking area so perhaps an option.

Plenty of French already live in London, London is such an international city so I wouldn't worry to much about Brexit doom mongers. So London can be the best of all with good connections to Paris and a big French community already there