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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL & the nursery rug

239 replies

Sunshine1996 · 28/11/2020 15:15

I know I’m going to sound like a completely ungrateful bitch but MIL has bought a rug for the nursery and it is not to my taste at all. I adore my MIL, it is her first grandchild and she is so excited which is lovely. It’s not even something I could stash away as she comes round often. I realise this isn’t really a huge problem but I’m 36 weeks pregnant and very hormonal 😂 it clashes completely with her room, just a rant really.

OP posts:
Apandemicyousay · 29/11/2020 17:55

Our lovely baby rug got trashed, so I’d say use it for a year and then bin it, because if strategically placed will get covered in bodily fluids

ittakes2 · 29/11/2020 18:28

Just tell her you were taken by surprise so didn’t know what to eat but you had already bought a rug so don’t want to offend her but ask if she is able to take it back (and quickly buy a rug you like for the proof!!)

FelicisNox · 29/11/2020 18:37

OMG just tell her!

"MIL I'm so blown away by your generosity but sadly the rug doesn't match anything in the nursery, why don't you pop over for tea and cake, we can catch up and pick something together".

  1. she will like the backhanded compliment.

  2. you can pick something you actually like.

  3. she will learn not to do it again.

She's an adult. Treat her like one.

bigmumsymcgraw · 29/11/2020 18:41

If you dont say something she wont stop....next it will be your babys outfits

Helendee · 29/11/2020 19:35

I’m the odd one here then as I actually like the rug!

DildoAndAKneeAss · 29/11/2020 19:42

I can imagine the alternative thread.

"I bought my lovely DIL - who I get on with really well - a beautiful rug for her nursery. She's being all precious and says it won't match her decor and wants to swap it for something else. I feel hurt. AIBU?"

StirUp · 29/11/2020 19:44

@bigmumsymcgraw

If you dont say something she wont stop....next it will be your babys outfits
So what? I have relatives with very dodgy taste, who sent our DC all kinds of tacky outfits when they were born.

However: they were went with the loveliest intentions and the kindest hearts. All you need to do is take a photo of the baby in their "lovely outfit", send it to said relatives, and donate the outfit to the charity shop once there's no risk of anyone seeing it again. It's not as if a baby knows what they are wearing.

CrankyFrankie · 29/11/2020 19:49

It has made me giggle it’s so bad. Does the £ shop even do credit notes?

Alpal1 · 29/11/2020 20:17

The idea and the wording is sweet and I think she might have put some thought into the gift.
But It’s a bit beige for sure. I think you had better apologise and ask her if you can return for something that will fit your colour scheme.

Wilkie1956mog · 29/11/2020 20:20

Hmmm - I suspect you will hurt her feelings terribly if you reject the rug. With those sentiments printed on it, she probably got a bit softy as soon-to-be Granny, and bought it specially, with love. If I were you I'd honestly pretend to like it and put up with it for the sake of not upsetting her. At least for a while, and then, as other posters suggest, have some sort of "accident" that ruins it, and buy a new one of your own choice and have it in place before you tell her, just in case she decides to replace the ruined one with another the same! Please consider her feelings though - it's really not worth causing hurt for the sake of a bit of decor. It doesn't matter that much in the scheme of things, does it?

Ilovesugar · 29/11/2020 20:46

I must have bad taste! I really like the rug!

EthelMerman · 29/11/2020 20:50

I’d say suck it up and live with it, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Put it under the cot or somewhere. Yes it’s not to your taste but she means well and is excited to become a grandmother. Keep her in side fir future babysitter duties. And when you come to redo the nursery it can have an accident.

My mil from my first marriage was lovely but would gift me things I neither wanted or needed. Her DS wouldn’t say anything no matter how I pleaded, so I would keep a few things out on the kitchen windowsill where I’d see them everyday to keep the peace.

GenevaL · 29/11/2020 20:55

I’d put it face down Grin

Bobbi73 · 29/11/2020 21:04

I had those foam letter tiles in my sons toon when he was a baby. It got wee'd on, sudocream all over the place and I once dropped a bottle of calamine lotion and it went everywhere!
Bad things happen to nursery carpets!

luca123 · 29/11/2020 22:03

I would have felt exactly the same as you while I was heavily pregnant with my first but I'm now several years down the line and my advice would be to just try and embrace it. My mum has bought some horrors over the years without checking first - child arm chairs, twin giant pink rocking horses. I was genuinely pissed off at the time but honestly nothing lasts long with little ones. The rug will have every bodily fluid on it before long. You may actually end up loving the material as it may survive the washing machine and it will protect your carpet. If you despise it that much that it makes your blood boil then get rid but it was bought with love and the best intentions

Standrewsschool · 29/11/2020 22:34

@bigmumsymcgraw

If you dont say something she wont stop....next it will be your babys outfits
That’s what I was thinking. Is is the start of a mil overstepping the mark?
Clawdy · 29/11/2020 22:46

I would have loved to have a MIL who bought things for my babies, it would have been such a help financially and emotionally. Be grateful for loving family who want to help, some of us had no such thing.

Beanie3 · 29/11/2020 22:59

Aren’t you an ungrateful lot!
At least you have a mother in law who is trying to be nice. She could have actually chose to ignore the birth of your child and not bought anything at all. Be kind, please.

Nat6999 · 29/11/2020 23:02

My ex sil bought us some cot bedding including quilt that I absolutely hated, I had already made my mind up what theme I wanted but was waiting until after my 20 week scan to buy it, there wasn't even a border or stickers to go with it.

JackyFrost · 29/11/2020 23:08

It will never stain...its polyester Grin

yellowlabrador · 29/11/2020 23:32

I'd just grin and bear it. She is over excited and probably just wants to contribute. It's a bit tacky, but in the grand scheme of things after the year we have had, I'd just laugh and let her have her way.

MountIronSolo01 · 29/11/2020 23:59

@Helendee

I’m the odd one here then as I actually like the rug!
No, I thought it was quite sweet and could see it looking nice in the right type of room.
BluebellsGreenbells · 30/11/2020 00:08

Deliberately ruining something because you don’t like it seems very petty and vindictive. I think you’re taking this literally.

Albertashor3 · 30/11/2020 00:26

Maybe accept the rug in the spirit it is given. Perhaps a great deal of thought and love has gone into this? In years to come (they’ll fly by), maybe you’ll grow to love the sentiment behind the gift. Over the years, I’ve received gifts for my children that I would absolutely never have bought, but now find they are those I cherish the most, especially when your MIL is no longer with you.

Allington · 30/11/2020 09:25

next it will be your babys outfits

The way babies get through clothes the more you are get for free the better in my eyes...