MIL & the nursery rug

[Sunshine1996]

I know I’m going to sound like a completely ungrateful bitch but MIL has bought a rug for the nursery and it is not to my taste at all. I adore my MIL, it is her first grandchild and she is so excited which is lovely. It’s not even something I could stash away as she comes round often. I realise this isn’t really a huge problem but I’m 36 weeks pregnant and very hormonal 😂 it clashes completely with her room, just a rant really.

Just say 'It's so thoughtful of you to have bought us the rug for the nursery MIL, but would you mind very much if I change it, as it doesn't really go with the colour scheme I've done/got planned?' Simples! If she takes umbrage then perhaps she'll think twice before buying stuff for your house in future.

I'd leave it rolled up and then when the weather is good enough to sit outside use it on the ground in the garden for the LO.

If MIL asks about in beforehand just say "we've not decided where to put it yet"

No that rug is awful! Can you put it in the playroom? That’s what I did when my MIL gave me a picture I didn’t like!

My mil bought a hideous furry blanket for our cot. I used it as a blanket on the floor, when she came round, and put it away again. It was totally unsuitable for a baby anyway...heavy, huge, thick and furry

Well, I think it’s a quite nice rug for a baby’s room

Not to my taste either op - I would have to say something but I am a wuss usually and wouldn’t want to upset when it is a kind gesture, but I would have to! I would try and word it as nicely as possible and explain that as kind as it was it isn’t to your personal taste and doesn’t go with your ideas for the nursery - and as it’s your first baby you were so excited to decorate the nursery yourself.

Be honest.
Mil it was a lovely thought but the rug is just not to our taste. Do you want it back or shall I donate it to charity?

I'd keep it for under the highchair when baby is weaning.
Save your flooring.

Well, it's not as bought as I thought it was going to be before scrolling down.

I'd give it a suitably important place directly underneath the cot.

It's awful, use it as a playmat to save hurt feelings.

I bought a rug for my first DGC's room as well, but I did it with my DDiL and she had the choice. If we couldn't have gone shopping together, I would have messaged her pictures so she could choose, or asked for her to message me a different choice.

Why would anyone do anything else?!

For myself, I would put the relationship over a temporary item that can be put to use as a play mat.

DD's bedrooms were always a whirl of toys, books, sticks collected on walks (DD2), stickers in bizarre places, horribly mismatched glittery tat (both of them)...

I had fantasies before children of tastefully decorated rooms. Long countryside walks followed by evenings playing board games, bedtime stories etc. Yes, we've done that some of the time, but the reality is getting through the day as best as possible and collapsing in a heap at bedtime. Accepting that as long as their rooms aren't a health hazard then it doesn't matter if it doesn't look the way I want.

An MIL that is on your side is worth a tasteless rug.

All the best with your baby!

An MIL that is on your side is worth a tasteless rug

Wisest words on the whole thread.

It won't stay that colour very long when your baby is no longer a baby! What is more, the baby won't really notice it. If you absolutely hate it, I think you could roll it up and put in a corner, just unrolling when grandma comes round. Obviously if the child stays in the same room, after a while it will be grubby and well worn and you can replace it.

Or else just ask if she can exchange the rug, tell her it is not to your taste. I'm always wary of sentimental things with words on them.

TBH when your baby is here you won't have time to look at the nursery floor!

My late MIL gave me a nursing chair when I was expecting my first child. It was a vintage one - she had it newly upholstered for me in a (no doubt good quality) itchy tweed fabric. Not my taste at all, but it was a lovely thing that she did and it stood in the nursery for years.

I have only recently stripped and reupholstered it myself in fabric that i love.

I don’t see anything wrong with it. People seem so fussy with nursery furniture and decoration these days. My kids rarely slept in the nursery anyway (co slept) and when they did I’m sure they didn’t care what rug was on the floor or what colour the bedding was.

Either use the rug or tell her you have already bought one.

That rug is not to my taste at all and I'd be quite annoyed at someone trying to decorate MY house with such a big item. Can your DP thank her profusely but then say it's such a shame it doesn't go or similar?

If not, I think you need to thank her and either put it under a big piece of furniture to save your carpet or hide it and say you're keeping it for a play mat. Take a photo then wait for your little one to trash it with sick or poo or whatever! Such a shame.

You also need to make sure she doesn't do it again. I find stressing how hard I am to buy for because I'm fussy and how much I enjoy choosing for myself anyway tends to stop people.

such a big item

It’s a bloody rug - which can be rolled up. Anyone would think she’d recarpeted the whole house!

Bloody hell what a fuss. I would roll it up and stick it in a cupboard. When MIL is coming round I'd get it out and put it on the floor for baby to lay on/play on. Then when she goes roll it up and put it away for next time. If she asks why it isn't in the nursery say you had already got the nursery sorted and thought it would be nice to use it in this way.

@BashfulClam I'm not sure yet - going to have to wait until it arrives at Christmas and then decide. I know I'm sounding ungrateful but I actually consider it a bit rude buying something so significant without asking the people first. I wouldn't dream of it, no matter how well intentioned.

@Sirzy

Deliberately ruining something because you don’t like it seems very petty and vindictive.

Either say it’s no good and ask for it to be changed, use it, or give it to a charity shop. Just because it’s not to your taste doesn’t mean it’s no good for someone else

This.

@VinylDetective you needn't be like that. If it's in quite a small room, that rug could be a right eyesore taking up far more than a fair share of floor space! It's also quite a big gift compared to say a baby gro. Not everyone lives in homes with acres of space and huge floors.

I live in quite a small flat and the bedroom I'd be using as a nursery is pretty small so my options would be resent it being on a proportionally large area or resent it taking up precious storage room when I haven't much of that either. So it would either end up under my very low ground clearance sofa, donated to the local mother & baby hub or given to my dad to chop up for some sort of practical use. The less hideous squares might be suitable scratch mats for the cat.

Sometimes I feel so sad about threads like this (and no, I'm not a MIL or a grandma!). MIL is excited and happy and that rug with all it's quaint little quotes is how she feels. Be kind, a MIL on your side is a blessing.

DB uses the same rug as an outdoor playmat.

So what does dh think? Does he have any say?