MIL & the nursery rug

[Sunshine1996]

I know I’m going to sound like a completely ungrateful bitch but MIL has bought a rug for the nursery and it is not to my taste at all. I adore my MIL, it is her first grandchild and she is so excited which is lovely. It’s not even something I could stash away as she comes round often. I realise this isn’t really a huge problem but I’m 36 weeks pregnant and very hormonal 😂 it clashes completely with her room, just a rant really.

It's twee but not that bad, use it as a tummy time mat perhaps, and does it matter it doesn't match? It's the sentiment that counts. Too many privileged mumzillas here, most people are glad to have a mil who interested!

That's a gorgeous rug OP and neutral colours so it'll go with anything.
We always tell our children we love them to the moon and back. My DS6 says "love you to the plooty ploot" so this is totally to our taste.
Can you not just set it up for a few months and then accidentally on purpose spill something on it?!

@Nat6999

My ex sil bought us some cot bedding including quilt that I absolutely hated, I had already made my mind up what theme I wanted but was waiting until after my 20 week scan to buy it, there wasn't even a border or stickers to go with it.

And then presumably you discovered that you can never have too much baby bedding and when you’re down to your last clean sheet you don’t give a toss what it looks like.

I quite like it 😳

@Sunshine1996 yanbu that is horrible, if you really have to put it down to please her just put it down when she is around. Also the yellow metanium nappy rash cream stains carpets REALLY bad so you could accidentally spill some of that one it. Drop a dirty nappy, have nappy free time

Not RTFT but that rug will make a great play later on, tell her you are saving it for when the child can really enjoy it.

@MummyMayo1988

That's a gorgeous rug OP and neutral colours so it'll go with anything. We always tell our children we love them to the moon and back. My DS6 says "love you to the plooty ploot" so this is totally to our taste. Can you not just set it up for a few months and then accidentally on purpose spill something on it?!

I hate the phrase ‘moon and back’ I want to be loved to at least Pluto and back as it’s much further lol

When I had my first baby she was the first grandchild on both sides, so all grandparents were very excited and bought us some stuff.
Anything I liked I accepted with thanks, anything I didn't want in my house I said thank you but it wasn't to my taste but would be great for their house when baby came to visit.
Could you say something like that?
For example they could put it down when baby visited for baby to lie on/play with toys on etc
I think getting things ready for the baby at their houses too helped get them more excited as they knew they would get lots of time with baby and we'd be round lots.
DD now even has a nursery at my PILs which is fab as she loves staying round there, and we love having the night off. (Under normal circumstances obv)

Apparently Nurseries should be decorated in bright colours to aid eye development. This is very neutral.

Can you put a nicer rug on top of it and just whip it off when your MIL comes round 😄

Seriously op, my children and dogs are rug slayers. We go through 3-4 rugs a year. Past rug abuse includes:

Dog piss x 1000
Play dough
Black paint (ASD ds mistook the rug for a paint pallet)
Spaghetti bolognaise (fell off my plate while breast feeding and trying to eat dinner)
Child vomit

That same could well happen to your rug...

Re: "It will make her happy and is just a rug"--

I think the problem is that often it doesn't stop with one rug.

If Daughter In Law says "Oooh, thank you, how kind of you to give us a rug" out of politeness, MIL may get the message that DIL loves being bought things for the house, and will keep on getting more and more stuff.

As time goes on, trying to say something about this ("Actually, I'd like to choose my own things for the house") is going to get more and more difficult to say, because you've spent years faking joy whenever you're given a potted plant or towel rail or picture or toilet mat or garden decoration.

It's easy to ignore this kind of stuff if you have a big house with lots of space, but some of us have small flats or terraces. Being given household items we don't want is annoying, because we don't have all these extra rooms and lofts and cupboards and therefore can't just shove them out of the way, and now have a choice of either never being able to buy things that we ourselves like, or putting up with an overstuffed cluttered house/flat, or having to throw things away and put them into landfill (which feels horrible).

I just think it's better to explain kindly "It's so lovely of you to think of us like this but I'm afraid we tend to buy things like this ourselves, so if you buy us household items, it will just duplicate our stuff. In future, please always phone and check with me if you are thinking about buying a household item for us so that neither of us ends up wasting our money [and when you do phone, I will definitely say, "No, don't buy it"] In the meantime, could you take this with you and put it in your house instead?"

@Sunshine1996

When I suggest anything to my DDIL that she doesn't she will tell me that she and my DS have decided not to use one of those ( whatever I've suggested)
Works a treat as it's a subtle hint to let me know that all decisions about DGC are theirs to make since DGC is their baby, not mine.
OP, it takes DGPs awhile to get used to the idea that the DGC is not theirs Stick to your guns!...
Here's an example of what I'm talking about that you can tell DMIL about the rug.....
If I'd bought that rug for the nursery, my DDIL( or my DS) would say..."Thank you, but your DS and I have decided that we aren't going to use a rug in the nursery"...or "your DS and I have decided on a different rug for the nursery " .
After about the 10th time of her or my DS telling me this..it finally sunk in! Their baby, their choice
I do hope this works...otherwise you will be receiving a bunch of horrible looking outfits that you wouldn't put on DC in a million years! " Oh, DMIL, thank you for the outfit for DC, but your DS and I have chosen to only dress our DC in organic clothing...or gender neutral...or pink clothes " (insert your and your DH choice here)
Oh, make sure you've let your DH know about this or things could get sticky if she says something to him about it and he says he "has no idea what she's going on about...we haven't discussed anything such thing"🤣
Enjoy every second with your precious little one!

@Wwydiywm
That's an excellent idea about putting items DMIL likes in the room(or area) she has at her own home for DC

@Henio
You are hilarious! Your ideas reminds me of how my DM used to whip out and display photos of relatives when they'd come to visit..there'd always be a mad dash to switch out the photos of the last guests.