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Original poster

Doing this to a child is wrong

999 replies

fuckxmas · 27/11/2020 18:09

BBC report : His said his 14-year-old daughter had not left her bedroom for four days, with meals being left outside her door, until the family learned the result was void on Thursday

This is so wrong to do to a child

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 27/11/2020 19:15

I think that shows an alarming lack of empathy

I think you need to spend more time with teenagers.

There also was nothing in the article that said there was no communication through the door.

evrey · 27/11/2020 19:16

hmm , my kids isolate in their rooms for d&v! The younger ones have an adult with them, but aged 10 and above are happy to be without an adult. They have access to all devices , and still facetime, text etc . I Wouldn't hesitate to do the same for covid. like most posters are saying most teenagers dream of meals being brought to the bedroom.

ILoveYou3000 · 27/11/2020 19:17

Maybe. And maybe this child was brought up with people who don’t understand the likely impact of four days of solitary confinement on a potentially ill teenager.

Think you might need to look up the definition of solitary confinement.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 27/11/2020 19:17

@flaviaritt

Maybe the 14 year old in this article was brought up by adults who don't describe this as being "left alone to brood on it like a plague victim". Maybe they have parents who have taught them about social responsibility and that sometimes we have to take steps that inconvenience us but protect others.

Maybe. And maybe this child was brought up with people who don’t understand the likely impact of four days of solitary confinement on a potentially ill teenager.

This really is so dramatic. Presumably the teenager didn't feel sick. They weren't in solitary confinement. I'm sure they spoke through the door, they spoke to their friends online, watched videos, read books
flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 19:18

I think you need to spend more time with teenagers.

Because?

There also was nothing in the article that said there was no communication through the door.

Talking through the door isn’t going to lessen the child’s feeling that, when the shit hits the fan, they’re on their own.

eaglejulesk · 27/11/2020 19:18

She's 14 not 4. Most 14 yr olds I know need extracting from their room not encouraging to stay in it. Assuming there are other people in the house and she has technology to communicate to friends I'm sure she'll come out it unscathed. Maybe if everyone took self isolating so seriously it wouldn't be spreading as it is!

Well said! A 14 year old is not a child - it wasn't so many decades ago people left school at 15 and started working!! Nowhere does it say she was forced to stay in her room, or locked in. It wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest at that age - as long as I was getting fed! She was hardly in a prison cell with nothing to do.

mumwon · 27/11/2020 19:18

They are no doing this as a punishment but to stop other members of the family getting infected. teenager is in a warm house in there own bedroom being fed -
from my memory of some of my dc at that age they prefer to be holed up in their bedroom away from their family. I use to say the only way you could tell they were home (from school university work away) was the increase in washing & decrease of food in fridge. I wonder what they are doing about the washing -wait -no difference there for some teenagers it just piles up in the room festering....

PurpleDaisies · 27/11/2020 19:19

Because?

You don’t seem to know much about how standard fourteen year old might cope with tricky situations.

flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 19:19

They weren't in solitary confinement. I'm sure they spoke through the door, they spoke to their friends online, watched videos, read books

True. But I don’t think this is enough to show them that they are the first and most important thing to their parents. If my DD is sick, I am next to her. I don’t lock her up in case she gives me her bugs.

jessstan1 · 27/11/2020 19:19

@TicTacTwo

Many 14yo (including mine)would enjoy self isolating like that.
Yes, I would have liked it at any time, more importantly nobody coming in to my bedroom. I would have only left my room to use bathroom and toilet. It sounds like sheer bliss.
flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 19:19

You don’t seem to know much about how standard fourteen year old might cope with tricky situations

Define a “standard fourteen year old” in solitary.

lyralalala · 27/11/2020 19:20

@flaviaritt

lyralalala

But equally, he also knows how to word things. So he knows it probably sounds better to say ‘had not’ rather than ‘could not’. Because one is okay and the other isn’t.

If she "could not" leave her room then he'd have had the guidance to fall back on and blame because that's exactly what the guidance says should happen.
flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 19:21

If she "could not" leave her room then he'd have had the guidance to fall back on and blame because that's exactly what the guidance says should happen.

Show me.

lyralalala · 27/11/2020 19:21

Some people massively underestimate teenagers.

GlowingOrb · 27/11/2020 19:21

We have decided that if 11yo dd needs a Covid test/has Covid., DH is the one who will be isolating in our downstairs guest room with en-suite (he is extremely vulnerable). At 14, I suspect dd might prefer being the one to isolate since our guest area is really more of a guest flat.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 27/11/2020 19:22

@flaviaritt

That's just daft. There is no indication the kid was feeling unwell for a start. It would be much better for a child to not be physically in the same room as a parent for a few days than have that parent get seriously ill.

Obviously it depends on the 14 year old. If they were very anxious and desperately wanted support it would be one thing but most 14 year olds I know wouldbe more concerned about passing covid on that having it themselves and would cope fine with staying in their room for a week or so.

flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 19:22

IMNOTSHOUTING

Sorry: which part of what I said is “daft”?

IMNOTSHOUTING · 27/11/2020 19:24

Define a “standard fourteen year old” in solitary.

Why do you keep pretending they were in solitary confinement. They weren't; they could communicate with their family and friends, they weren't locked in they could have got help if they needed it. Most 14 year olds would cope absolutely fine with this. A 4 year old needs constant cuddles and touch every day. A 14 year old usually doesn't.

FastFood · 27/11/2020 19:24

That would have been my dream at 14.
It's still my dream at 40.

lyralalala · 27/11/2020 19:25

@flaviaritt

If she "could not" leave her room then he'd have had the guidance to fall back on and blame because that's exactly what the guidance says should happen.

Show me.

Did you check your manners in at the start of the thread or something?

Here you go, from the NHS (something you could easily have looked up yourself...)

How to avoid spreading coronavirus to people you live with

If you are self-isolating because of coronavirus, there are things you can do to reduce the chances of spreading any infection to the people you live with.

Try to stay away from people you live with

If you have symptoms, you should stay away from other people you live with as much as possible.

If you can:

stay on your own in one room as much as possible and keep the door closed
avoid using shared spaces (such as the kitchen) at the same time as other people – eat your meals in your room
use a separate bathroom - otherwise, use the bathroom after everyone else and clean it each time you use it, for example, by wiping the surfaces you've touched
IMNOTSHOUTING · 27/11/2020 19:25

@flaviaritt

It's daft that you a) assume the child is unwell and b) say that even if you were vulnerable to getting seriously sick you'd rather hang around a 14 year old's bed (and risk them losing a parent which actually would be traumatic) than just let them watch films and play on their phone perfectly happily for a few days.

eaglejulesk · 27/11/2020 19:26

But I don’t think this is enough to show them that they are the first and most important thing to their parents. If my DD is sick, I am next to her. I don’t lock her up in case she gives me her bugs

This is exactly why so many almost adults are so child-like. My mother worked, and at that age if I had been ill I would have been at home by myself for most of the day - unless of course I had been seriously ill. It didn't mean I thought my parents didn't care about me. This is why some children grow to adulthood with no resilience.

lyralalala · 27/11/2020 19:26

The bolding is from the page itself rather than my emphasis.

flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 19:26

IMNOTSHOUTING

I think a 14 year old left alone and unable to leave a bedroom for 4 days is being seriously let down. I’m not going to argue the terminology.

flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 19:27

This is exactly why so many almost adults are so child-like.

Well, I don’t agree.

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