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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that Charles and Camila are actually an example of genuine love

559 replies

Noddyandbiggerears · 25/11/2020 21:58

Yes of course I feel sorry for Diana. Yes I think being a royal has a huge impact. But they let young and are now still together and seemingly happy in their 70’s, despite a lot of shunning, negative press, etc.

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Emmapeeler2 · 26/11/2020 09:18

I love the queen - she has been fantastic during her reign, and has been badly let down by her children over the years.

I love the Queen too but as a mother I would argue she let her kids down which is perhaps why they disappoint her. Charles' childhood sounds like it was very sad and lonely to me, and I don't just mean the one portrayed on The Crown.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 26/11/2020 09:25

'she has been fantastic during her reign, and has been badly let down by her children over the years.'

Why though? I'd imagine all Royal families have behaved badly behind the scenes we've just never known about it before.

Imagine growing up in that dysfunctional set up. However Princess Anne, Prince Edward and Charles all seem to do their jobs well. William now taking on more.

Lardlizard · 26/11/2020 09:26

She’s looking more n more like a Diana wannabe all that bleached hair and her style etc

LadyEloise · 26/11/2020 09:30

T*o think that Charles and Camilla are actually an example of genuine love.
*
I'm not sure.
Are they actually still together as a couple ?
We won't be told if their marriage hasn't worked out.

I think the PR used to change the perception of Camilla by the general public has been very successful.

PrincessNutNut · 26/11/2020 09:33

@Lardlizard

She’s looking more n more like a Diana wannabe all that bleached hair and her style etc
She looks nothing like Diana, nor like she's trying to.
Emmapeeler2 · 26/11/2020 09:35

She’s looking more n more like a Diana wannabe all that bleached hair and her style etc

Um.... ok.

Lardlizard · 26/11/2020 09:35

The flicked bleached hair ?

Lardlizard · 26/11/2020 09:39

Copycat wannabe

To think that Charles and Camila are actually an example of genuine love
Lardlizard · 26/11/2020 09:39

Look at the hair !

MrsToothyBitch · 26/11/2020 09:41

For the few on this thread hoping the crown "skips" straight to William - why on earth are you wishing it on him early?

Charles will take the throne unless he absolutely can't. He will take it because:
A) He's been raised to.
B) He's waited a very long time for it.
C) He's in very rude health for his age so could actually reign pretty happily for a good few years.
D) Every day, week, year that he spends on the throne keeps William off it and spares him the burden. Gives him - and his family- more time to be as they are, and be relatively free.

One of the few things The Crown has got right across the board is that the crown is a burden. Not only was Charles raised to take it - in his own, slightly dippy way- and do his duty, but I think he will take it for William's sake and, for those of you bleating on about a short reign- he might actually be there for a reasonable amount of time. I think the length of the reign of the current Queen (currently planning her platinum jubilee) has really warped the view on this.

Charles is in his early 70s now, in good health. His parents are in their mid-late 90s and will probably both see 100. Yes, Charles won't reign as long as his mother but she has enjoyed an extraordinarily long reign by anyone's standard. Assuming he takes over in the 5 or so years, 10 or 15 years as the boss is not impossible, even 20 or so- he too could make 100. More importantly, that length of time is still long enough for George to grow up.

More curious to me is how the Queen will rule in the next few years. Should Philip die by degrees, the public mood is very different to the "put up and shut up" of long ago. To carry on visibly Queening rather than withdrawing to be with a dying spouse would no longer be considered dutiful but merely cold. I can't see her ever abdicating though, even in extreme sickness, after Edward VIII. Charles would just step up in all but name. Even if it took years.

PrincessNutNut · 26/11/2020 09:44

She's had a blonde bob with a fringe for decades, Diana had a completely different cut. The fact that she occasionally gets it flicked doesn't make her a Diana clone. Diana didn't always flick it either.

I mean, Christ. I sometimes dry my hair straight with a big wave, doesn't mean I'm trying to be Kate Middleton.

Joswis · 26/11/2020 09:44

@Emmapeeler2

they hurt a much younger woman so much that they led to her death

Bit unfair. For making her marriage unhappy, yes.

She was 18 when she married him. Very inexperienced, innocent etc. She was madly in love with him and she was used as a rent-a-womb.

That would damage anyone, as evidenced by the onset of her bulimia after their engagement. He was cruel and very unkind to her and both C & C knowingly continued their previous relationship.

He is far more to blame than Camilla, obviously. The guy is weak and pathetic. Not fit to be king.

Diana would still be alive if 1) he hadn't married her or 2) he hadn't cheated on her. She trawled around, desperate for the love that she should have got in her marriage. A very sad and damaged woman. Damaged by the heir to the throne.

Lardlizard · 26/11/2020 09:45

How she used to look

To think that Charles and Camila are actually an example of genuine love
Lardlizard · 26/11/2020 09:46

Hmmm 🧐

To think that Charles and Camila are actually an example of genuine love
AlternativePerspective · 26/11/2020 09:51

I think that relationships are complicated. We have far too much of a black and white view of how things are supposed to be, and if there is any deviation from that, we proclaim it to be wrong.

How many people on here have a “one that got away.”? In most cases that person will have moved on, and then they meet someone else and have a happy marriage. But if that marriage doesn’t work out then it’s not inconceivable that the “one that got away” could come back into their life.

Diana and Charles were ill-suited from the start. But the institution needed him to be married to someone who was “wholesome”, not someone who, years down the track, might have a former lover crawl out of the woodwork professing that “I slept with the queen.”

I didn’t like Diana. She was fake and manipulative, and not all of that was of the royals’ making. And she had her own affairs, shagged married men after her divorce (will Carling anyone?” But because she’s dead not a bad word can be said against her. I think that she would have fallen far out of favour by now had she not died.

As for “they don’t live together/it’s just convenience/they can’t get divorced,” says who? The tabloids? A friend of a friend’s butler’s assistant? There is literally no point reading the tabloids and the made up gossip on these people because nobody knows what goes on in someone else’s relationship.

And passion? I don’t think most 70+ year olds have passionate sex-filled relationships, that doesn’t mean they aren’t happily married though.

And recently there was a thread on here talking about living separately from your husband, and the overwhelming majority of posters seemed to think it would be a fabulous idea. But someone else does it and then the speculation has to start about how it’s not really a marriage.

PrincessNutNut · 26/11/2020 09:55

It's a completely different cut, as well as even that second pic being, what, nearly 30 years old?! Lots of women dye their hair a lighter colour than they had before they went grey, it's a more natural and soft look. Short blonde hair is so common on women in certain age groups that we've even got a horrible misogynistic stereotype about it!

Good Lord, one of the biggest things they're doing with her is making sure she DOESN'T ape Diana. That's why she doesn't use the Princess of Wales title even though she has it. Do people seriously think she's trying to look like Diana because she's got what might be the most popular hairstyle of her age group and isn't actually the same as Diana's?

Ladsladslads · 26/11/2020 09:56

I've met Camilla a couple of times. She's great, very personable and genuine.

derxa · 26/11/2020 09:59

@Ladsladslads

I've met Camilla a couple of times. She's great, very personable and genuine.
That does not negate the fact that she behaved badly.
zigaziga · 26/11/2020 09:59

@Emmapeeler2

I love the queen - she has been fantastic during her reign, and has been badly let down by her children over the years.

I love the Queen too but as a mother I would argue she let her kids down which is perhaps why they disappoint her. Charles' childhood sounds like it was very sad and lonely to me, and I don't just mean the one portrayed on The Crown.

Yes I agree with this.

I think Charles’s childhood made him into the person he is today. Stuffy, self centred, self important, completely inflexible and myopic in thinking.

I do in a way really admire Camilla. She seems so incredibly strong. Her having her own life away from him now is indicative of that now. I can imagine he’s a trying person to live with and very inflexible, but instead of trying to change him or getting upset about it she simply runs her own parallel life and still does the things that are important to her, with or without him.
It’s always seemed that he has needed her more than she needs him. I think she really is one of those women who truly don’t need a man and is admirable for that.

CounsellorTroi · 26/11/2020 10:02

It’s all very tacky in my opinion.
Camilla’s great grandmother Alice Keppel was the mistress of Charles ‘ great great grandfather Edward VII so the lousy , entitled behaviour runs in the family.

Except that in Edward VII’s time it was just accepted. There was never any pretence that the heir to the throne was marrying for love, it was an arrangement between families. And the press of the time were deferential and respectful.

Emmapeeler2 · 26/11/2020 10:05

because she's got what might be the most popular hairstyle of her age group

Quite. I can't even get into her copying Diana (which she doesn't).

As for them being responsible for her death, Diana getting in a car with a drunk driver and not wearing a seatbelt was the cause. Agree she was too young, unhappy etc. But you can't blame everything in the 20 years leading up to an isolated incident for its cause.

campion · 26/11/2020 10:05

I can't see her ever abdicating though, even in extreme sickness, after Edward VIII. Charles would just step up in all but name. Even if it took years

I agree. The Queen looks good for a few more years but I guess she'll see the sense in handing over in all but name. Especially after her enforced rest during lockdown, even though she's had to spend more time with Prince PhilipGrin
Swings and roundabouts.

I think Charles was pushed into marrying Diana by the Queen Mother (who he adored) particularly. Diana's grandmother (Ruth Fermoy)was the QM's lady in waiting and had her ear. Speculation was that they cooked it up between them and P Philip agreed and the the Queen OK'd it. Charles was the last to be consulted.
Allegedly!!

zigaziga · 26/11/2020 10:07

Lardlizard I think the bleached blond hair is because there is really only a choice between full on grey or very blonde once you reach a certain age. If you are almost or all grey and keep dying your hair brown it can look very aging against aging skin and also unless you dye it literally every 1-2 weeks you’ll get a very unflattering line of white down your parting.
Camilla I think isn’t someone who is overly bothered by her appearance but also needs to look the part and probably walks a line between the two. If she had her old hair style from the 70s and 80s it would look ridiculous and she’d be mocked tirelessly for it.

Joswis · 26/11/2020 10:08

I think JUST the fact that she was a very childish 18 year old when he took her on and then proceeded to use her JUST for his heirs is enough to condemn him. But add on top the affair, the ignoring of her and the judgement about HER affairs, while effectively being married to another woman is the resounding blow for me.

He is a s**t. Yes, he is damaged. But that didn't give him the right to inflict damage on a very young woman. It would be like excusing a rapist because they had been raped themselves.

PimlicoJo · 26/11/2020 10:09

If Diana hadn't died tragically at a young age we might be viewing the current personal lives of the royal family, and Diana herself, very differently. She is forever a young woman of 36 and we have no view of how she might have aged and the life choices she might have made, good or bad.