Is this weird - work colleague had baby but not allowed to tell anyone?

[coffeelover3]

So my colleague left last week to have a baby - I say left, as there was no 'going away' present or card for her, because, according to our manager, she wasn't on maternity yet - she took 2 weeks holiday before her official maternity leave starts... I felt bad at the last teams meeting, and she privately said to me she felt disappointed there was no 'going away', I know she meant IRL, but I felt bad there was no online card or collection or anything at all. So at the end of last week manager sent round an email to about 50 people, our department, and any others she might have friends in, with an online card and collection, but said she wouldn't be collecting it until 7 December as that is when she officialy starts 'mat leave'.

So roll on and yesterday I got a text from her, (pregnant colleague) saying she had had the baby yesterday, it was a girl, blah blah, so I sent a text congratulating her. I mentioned it to manager today and she hadn't heard. I said to her should "we" or "her" change the card/collection to be sooner, and telling everyone she had had a baby girl etc, but she said no, that she wasn't "allowed" to tell anyone as colleague is on ANNUAL leave not MATERNITY leave.

I never heard of this before - I already told another colleague on our team - I didn't think it was a secret...?

I'm also slightly embarrassed that we're not doing anything until 7th December. I feel like we should send flowers at least, in the next few days.

AIBU?

Everything about when does mat leave officially start aside (I don't think it matters, pedantic really), your manager just sounds a bit socially awkward and loves a rule to know where they stand. If it were me I'd say that the card/present should be sent sooner because the baby is now born and its a nice thing to do. What her leave is called (annual or maternity) is completely irrelevant and distracts from celebrating at the right time.

@coffeelover3

Well done OP , I think you did the correct thing.
I am not sure what your manager is doing, but either she doesn't know the maternity laws ( which I think is very worrying- especially if there is no one to advise her) or she thinks there is something amiss with the situation and is trying to hide it from other employees- although if this was he case you would expect the lady who just gave birth to know as well.

Has your friend officially told your work that she has had the baby? If I was the manager I wouldn't take second hand information and I certainly wouldn't be contacting HR about starting maternity leave without proof.

@notanothertakeaway

Just for those asking, it's nothing got to do with the manager 'helping' her by not telling HR she had the baby - she's permanent and worked here for years so she is entitled to everything etc, she's not on a short contract or anything like that

I was on a permanent contract, worked there for over 10 years. Employers still tried to get away with not paying my annual leave in full when baby came early

I don't think that would be in the manager's 'gift' though? I'd say that will be worked out with HR. TBH this manager is not very 'high up' but she takes her job of 'managing us' very seriously. I don't know why she follows these rules to the letter, or at least to the letter 'in her head'. She hasn't said anything to me about sending out the message to everyone but I have a meeting with her at 2.30 so am bracing myself. Though knowing her she probably wont say anything. Lots of people have been saying to me to pass on their congrats to colleague in hospital so I texted her this morning saying all the people who were asking after her. It's a bit miserable for her being in hospital and no visitors, not even husband allowed in to visit! So I think she was glad to get those messages, to know everyone is thinking about her. I never came across such weirdness before. Lots more people have signed the card and donated - I wonder will she stick to the 7th December date for sending it out... I suppose I could suggest it gets sent out earlier at the meeting today - the others might back me up as to me that would be the normal thing to do?! Am going to send my own card anyway. Thx everyone - I thought I was missing something, I coudlnt understand it.

So weird - just had meeting with the team and manager, and she says first off, 'so great news about X's baby' - like nothing had happened. I mean WTAF??? She is wrecking my head but I'm trying not to think about it. I didn't say anything about giving the card earlier than 7th dec. If she wants to be a dick about it then, whatever.
Just met colleague who has been off sick since Sept and is now leaving - she's leaving solely because of the same manager.

And another colleague who has been off sick for 7 weeks - found out that its 'stress' directly caused by this woman.
I'm glad I know that it's not just me, but how can she be let get away with it. I can see how she does it - it's so head wrecking what she does. Anyway, for anyone still reading, (!) thought you might like an update lol.

Sarah510 You've had a name change fail OP.

And you post a thread about different issues with your work, your colleagues and your managers pretty much every week .